Sunday, December 30, 2007

Dad's back in the Hospital - Great is our God

The splendor of the King, Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, Let all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light, And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice, And trembles at his voice

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God

Age to age he stands, And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End, Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, The Lion and the Lamb

How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God

You're the Name above all names, You are Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God

How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great Is our God

How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, and will sing
How great, How great is our God

This is one of the songs that was sung in church this morning. I could not hold back the tears. This song has brought me to tears in the past but this morning I found myself asking why? I think the answer is a question. Do I believe these words we sing?

Dad went back into the hospital this morning. His white blood cell count jumped from 13 to 40. We knew it was on the rise and that wasn't a good sign but we were still hoping and praying. Doctors have told him that he has pnemonia. They have yet to come in and discuss the cancer and what the plan of action is, however.

To say this is discouraging is a bit understated. Dad was so hopeful and confident that he would make it to the stem cell procedure this time around. This is where the questioning comes in. Through all of this can I confidently sing, "How great is our God, sing with me"?

My heart is heavy. This is the first Christmas without my Grandpa Tuttle (Dad's dad). It would have been nice to have Dad at the family Christmas party today. Yesterday, he was able to celebrate with us at Grimaldi Christmas (my mom's side). I find myself asking, "What would one more day have done?" Still, I can't wonder. I can't question. I must be thankful that he was able to celebrate yesterday and not question today.

I was talking with my Dad's sisters and his mom today. My Aunt Val reminded me of a saying. I don't remember it in it's entirety. However, I do remember the important line. "Faith looks up." Without keeping my eyes on God, it's impossible to continue to hope.

As I struggle in my heart and ask God, "Why?", I need to remember that He is still in control. Eternity is still what matters and He can still heal Dad. He has healed the lame, the lepers, the blind and even raised the dead. Certainly, he can heal Dad from cancer. And confidently, I know He will heal my Dad. Whether Dad lives or dies, he will be healed. I will choose to look up and keep my eyes on Christ. He is the only way to get through this.

2 comments:

  1. In our service today Our pastor spoke on Psalm 121 it was really good. The Psalm talks about our help coming from the Lord who never slumbers or sleeps. The Lord is your keeper, and our shade on your right hand.
    We don't always understand, But we know that we can trust God to give us what we need when we need it.
    We will be praying for your dad and mom and the whole family,
    love,
    Aunt Becky

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  2. Thanks, Aunt Becky. I'm so glad we were all able to be together on Saturday. I'll read Psalm 121 before I go to bed tonight.

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