Friday, January 25, 2008

Book Recommendation

“A woman’s disappointment in men, circumstances, God, life, money, kids and the future can cause her heart to wander. If she’s single she may turn to fantasy and self-gratification, hurting her potential to develop a healthy sexual connection with her future husband. If she’s married, she may start comparing her husband with every other man, and when she does, he always comes up short. She may obsess over all that he is not and all that he could be. She may express her desires for him to be different and better, creating criticisms and complaints in almost every conversation. It becomes so serious that she begins to feel entitled to something better, someone who can meet her needs the way she deserves. Unknowingly she betrays her husband with almost every thought of him and someone else she views as superior. And with each comparison comes a greater and deeper disconnection between the two of them and the increasing likelihood that she may fall into an emotional affair or even a sexual one. But even if she does neither, her rejection of her husband destroys the potential for her to experience the fulfillment she longs for.”

A few years ago, my friend, Jaren, recommended that I read the book Every Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge. To say it was eye opening is an understatement. Above is an excerpt from the foreword of this book. Women are emotional beings. We are attracted to men because of an emotional attachment. Shannon explores this in depth in her book. I highly recommend it. It has changed my relationships.

It’s not that I believe men and women cannot be friends. However, I do raise caution in my friendships with men. My time and investment need to be in my husband. Sad to say, there have been times where my time and investment have been more with other male friendships. Upon reading this book, Rod and I discussed it and I am now more aware and conscientious about my friendships and the level I allow them to grow. I attempt to focus on my friendship with the wife in our “couple” friendships and encourage Rod to grow deeper in the friendships with the men.

Honestly, I would say this was an extreme change for me. I’ve always formed friendships with guys easily. Even in grade school and high school, I was their friend while they looked to my friends for the dating relationships. What I’ve found in guarding my heart in this transforming way is that God has blessed me with some truly deepened female friendships. I still have many male friends, but I keep up fences that are there to honor God and show love to my husband and respect for my marriage.

If you are hesitant to agree with me, I’ve been in those shoes. Please let me encourage you to read this book and allow God to speak to your heart. We are now studying it as a small group. Well, the women are studying this and the men are studying Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn. (Men, highly recommend that one to you.)

I ask the question, is your spouse/marriage worth it?


  1. Hi Tristi,

    I hope you're feeling better.

    I understand totally what you're saying. I do have friendships with men but Jeff's my guy - know what I mean? :)

    We celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary last week and one of my most frequent prayers for us is that we never, ever take each other for granted. What an incredible gift this marriage - and this friendship - has been to me.

    I've never read this book but am adding it to my list. Thanks for the recommendation.

    tea and crackers, girlfriend...

  2. Thanks, Lorraine. I feel like I should take stock in Saltines!

  3. Every person I know that has read this has really loved it. I have greatly appreciated all the books I have read in the "Every Man" series.

    Guard your heart!