Monday, January 7, 2008

Think on These Things...

I desperately want to hope. All around me it seems like others are attempting to dash my hope.

I got some information about a particular cemetery for my dad this morning. I know it needs to be done… and I’m more than willing to help. Still, this phone call made it all a little more too real. All I want to do is cry.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I want to sleep, too. There are few greater things in this world than sleep. I go to sleep with my mind spinning, unable to focus on anything – or cope with anything for that matter. When I wake up, for a few short seconds, I’m refreshed and think all is well in this world. That’s when it all quickly comes back to me: the realties of this world; the lack of hope out there for so many; the stresses of the day. Yet in those moments of sleep, God works and refreshes me so I can face tomorrow.

Yesterday morning, our Pastor spoke of an unexpected loss for one of our church families. He discussed some of what was said at the services. “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.” – Philippians 4:8. The verse was referenced to remind us that we have a choice. We can choose the way we allow our thoughts to be occupied with every situation – including tragedies.

I don’t want the rest of my dad’s life to be spent with my tears. I want to treasure the time he has left with us. Tears will happen. After all, I am human. However, I cannot be consumed with death. I must choose to think on these things in Philippians.

My ultimate hope is not that Dad will be healed. If that were the only hope I had, there would be much reason for tears. However, my hope is in Heaven. That hope is for eternity. When thoughts begin to press in about the future without my dad, I need to choose to direct my thoughts to eternity. We'll be together forever praising our God. That can bring me peace.


  1. Tristi, this is so beautifully written - I cried when I read it.

    I appreciate so much that you share with us your vulnerability. I also appreciate the way you honestly express your feelings. God is indeed working through you.

    I'm sure there are days when you wish you could just freeze time & cherish a moment a little longer. I can relate to that longing.

    You are so right about hope, my friend. Continue to direct your thoughts on eternity.

    You are prayed for & loved.

  2. Thanks for the encouragement, Kelly - really.