Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I had decided NOT to head out to Mokena yesterday. That is until my sister called. Some dear friends of ours went through this just last year and one of them advised my sister to clear her schedule if possible to be at the house. She said it would never be something to regret. I decided to head out there at least for the morning and decide what to do with Nikelle and school later. Her school is very supportive and she ended up not attending yesterday. We'll see what I choose today. My decisions seem to be very last minute these days.

I'm glad I went. There was a moment where my brothers were both away. When they are there, it is generally one or both of them sitting right by Dad's side and I want to respect the time they may need there. I was grateful, however, that yesterday I had a time where I got to help Dad and I finally had the chance to hold his hand which was one thing I was beginning to wonder if I'd regret if I didn't do it.

Although, we were to call my brother if he was needed because he lives just minutes away, we didn't need to. Dad woke up and asked to go to the bathroom. We were about to clear the room with the grandkids when he said, "Wait". "I can walk to the bathroom." Mom, Traci and I helped direct him down the stairs as he slowly and cautiously walked. It was good to have the privilege to help.

When he returned to the sofa, we were able to have some quality conversation with him. As I held his hand, I talked to him and Sabrina about when I was little and always pushed Mom out of the way so I could hold his hand. He said that I was quite the jealous one about that. I told him how Nike's relationship with Rod always reminds me of my relationship with him.

I also told him a couple things that Rod wanted to say to him but wasn't able to. As well as thanking him for helping me find Rod. I reminded him that it is because he and Mom approved of Rod so quickly and encouraged me in that direction that I have the husband I have for the rest of my life. I knew the words didn't sound right as they came out. He corrected me. "You'll have him for the rest of his life."

The only negative of yesterday involved my 78-year-old Great Aunt (Mom's Aunt) coming to bring us dinner around 4 p.m. After getting everything situated, she walked down the stairs and fell when she got on the wood floor (I think there was a rug there). We called 9-1-1 (a little all too familiar) and I road with her to the hospital. I was with her until about 8 p.m. only to find out that she has a hairline fracture and will need surgery. As she said to me yesterday, when it rains, it pours. Please pray for her quick healing. She is strong otherwise.

Dad was cold and clammy yesterday and we're still attempting to manage his pain. The fact that the nerves are overtaken by the cancer makes it difficult in this area. The nurse confirmed that the way his body is reacting reveals the spinal cord is involved.

It was sweet to watch my mom care for him and yet so sad at the same time. I don't want my Dad gone but I'm grateful for the conversations we were able to have yesterday. I will forever treasure them in my heart. I even found an old Christmas card yesterday that was written in his handwriting to me. It was nothing overly special but it's from him.

1 comment:

  1. Tristi, I am so glad that you are going to see your dad and that you were given the chance to be helpful to him in such a personal way - even now. Each day is a new decision on whether or not to go - and each day it will get harder.

    Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6