Saturday, April 5, 2008

Dad can fix it

Throughout these past weeks, many of my thoughts have been filled with my Dad. I've struggled to experience much more than sadness, pain and confusion. Honestly, there have been some truly tough times since I've lost my dad. It was never something I could imagine...until now because I have no choice but to face the reality of it all.

Lately, I've been thinking about the way God gifted my dad with so much wisdom and skill. If something was broken, we'd call Dad or take the item to him. Even as he battled cancer, he replaced our front window as well as a sump pump and dryer vents. Now, as I experience life and come across items needing repair, I cannot help but think of how easy it would have been to turn to my dad.

All of this has turned my thoughts to the brokenness inside of me. Despite the wisdom and skill God provided my dad, he would not have been able to fix this. I cannot fix my broken heart either. So, I prayed to the only Father who can.

"Lord, only you can make me whole. I know I'm fighting everyone on everything. My heart hurts and I simply do not want to feel. Still, I want You to fix this brokenness inside of me. I want to be able to feel more than hurt, pain and confusion again. I want to experience love, joy and peace. Open my mind. Soften my heart. Change me."

I know He will heal the brokenness inside of me. He simply needs me to be willing to accept the change and allow Him to work in His matter how long that might be.

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