Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Lamentations 3

Life has been a lot of running errands and just getting through the day. Summer is flying by and I am no where ready for this third child to come to us in a month and a half.

Yesterday Nikelle went to dance class. As we were leaving, she's pointing and saying, "Look, Mom. The funeral. The funeral." I looked and could not for the life of me figure out what she was talking about. "The funeral home, Mom." she stated with excitement in her voice. "It's right there. You know, the one we always go to." Looking across the street at a bank, I clarified what she was looking at and attempted not to think much about what she was saying.

For me, this reality of life we are living has been extremely difficult. Confusion. Anger. Depression. Sadness. At times, they all attempt to consume me as I go through the day.

When my head hits the pillow each night, I am grateful that we have made it through another day. There's not much emotion to me. Just attempts at facing another day with a reality I do not wish to accept.

Almost 5 months have passed since Dad left this world. Almost 2 without my father-in-law. Still, each day lingers with reminders of them. As the birth of this child approaches, I fight to keep my thoughts from spiraling downward with how much I wanted them both to live to see this baby.

In all of this, while reading a MOPS book yesterday, part of Lamentations 3 was quoted. Today I read it further.

Lamentations 3:22-23
"The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning."

Lamentations 3:31-33
"For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion because of the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow."

I'm attempting to focus on these verses. I'm not trying to take them out of context. I believe they still apply in my situation. I know that even when I am not feeling it, His love is still abundantly there for me.

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