Monday, November 17, 2008

Disappointing Thank You

I had a disappointment yesterday that made me reevaluate my life. It was nothing overly dramatic. Just something that required action in a territory I really hadn't experienced yet. It pained my heart and brought joy to my heart all at the same time.

My daughter did something she didn't want to tell me about. However, she did tell me. It was difficult for her. I could see that right away. Something inside me told me it was extremely important to encourage her to talk to me. At the same time, I needed to protect this special gift of trust she was relying on.

"I don't want to tell you."
"I'm scared I'll get in trouble."
"I won't do it next time."
"I didn't think it was a good idea."
"I know it wasn't appropriate."

All of this was being said by my little girl prior to her divulging information. I knew I had to take careful guard of her heart. She was entering shaky territory. She knew she needed to tell the truth but at the same time did not want to be punished. I assured her she was not in trouble as I stepped onto the thin ice with her.

She ended up sharing all the details and I had to fight back tears. I was disappointed in my daughter. Not just her, but in myself as well. I had not taught my daughter the importance of this topic. I overlooked her need to be educated.

I sent her upstairs to get ready for bed. As I cried. Gaining my composure, I approached the stairs to her room. And I prayed. I prayed that God would help me to handle this situation appropriately.

I talked with her more and was amazed at how God gave me the right words to say. Earlier that morning, Nikelle was asking me the meaning of her name. I told her it meant "victorious"; "winner". I was able to use this to tell her that she needs to remember that she is victorious and winners make choices that honor God - even if they have to do it alone.

After we tucked the girls in bed last night, it was time to reevaluate. Parenting is such a huge responsibility. God has entrusted these little ones to our care. Rod and I are realizing there will be a lot of times where we will tread out onto rough waters not knowing how things will turn out. Nikelle is our first and we will make mistakes. Thankfully, this mistake is not life altering. Thankfully, this encourages us to talk more to our girls about a wider variety of topics. It encourages me to get into my Bible and pray for creativity in teaching the girls about God's plan for their lives.

Today, I'm thankful for disappointments because they require me to take a step back, think and respond. Without disappointments, I might go on my merry way never taking the time to reevaluate and change.

"Thank you, Lord, for disappointments that bring me closer to you."

1 comment:

  1. I hadn't looked at your blog for a while so I skimmed through the last week or so. The thought that comes to mind from this posting is this...God has blessed you with the time to be in His word and to spend time with Him. You have made the greatest choice to stay home with your children and He has given you the blessing of this intentional parenting. I know the decision to stay at home may not have been an easy one, and you may be tempted at times to re-enter the workforce, but I hope you look back at this and see that its all worth it. I, too, was able to be home with my kids, and I don't regret one minute of it. "It will be worth it all..."