Monday, January 26, 2009

A habit I need to break

I am sitting at the computer attempting to focus my mind or clear my mind (I'm not sure which). I know that in a few minutes I have to meet Nikelle at the bus stop. My younger two are sleeping at the same time which is absolutely wonderful (and unusual).

My eyes are tired from tears I've cried over this life we live and the heartaches that come with it. I've smiled while reading another friends' blog and because I have a dear friend who calls me when she knows I need it.

I want to eat. I find comfort in food and I want to eat. I'm tired of overeating. I'm tired of feeling lousy about myself. I'm tired of being consumed by food. Still, I want to eat. It's like my drug of choice. I know it's sad. There are so many more worthy things to consume myself with but I have been choosing food to the point where it has become a habit. A habit that I need to break.

As I watch the clock and wait for the minutes to tick away, I need to type. I need to keep typing because otherwise I worry that I will walk over to my pantry and find something unecessary to put into my mouth. It will make me feel good for all of two minutes and then I will feel lousy for days.

I'm grateful that there are other ways to express our feelings. I'm grateful that we have alternatives for the temptations we face. I'm choosing to take these alternatives today. More specifically, for this moment. I can't look past this moment or it could lead to more bad choices. Right now, I'm making a good choice and that lifts my head.

Now, as I go to meet Nikelle at the bus, I will grab my MOPS magazine and wait...grateful that for today, one moment of a bad habit was overcome.

Thanks, Stacy, for that little voice in my head! :)

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." - 1 Corinthians 10:13

3 comments:

  1. You have NO idea how much it means to me, that I can be of help to you in some way. In this aspect of your life (Food) you KNOW that I know exactly where you are coming from. I'm glad I get to be the little voice. And THANK YOU, for all the times you are mine.

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  2. Tristi, of all the things you can be addicted to, I think the hardest to control/overcome is food. With anything else, all you have to do is never drink/smoke/take it again. But because food is necessary for life, every day we have to face it. I struggle with it myself, I'm definitely a stress/boredom eater.

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  3. Seriously...it would be so much easier if we could just omit it all together, wouldn't it? I'm realizing it's a continual struggle I will always have. Every small moment I overcome is a celebration. It also helps to keep the chocolate and bakery goods out of my house! :)

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