Saturday, January 17, 2009

Struggle v. Addiction

I think I'm over the denial now. After missing three consecutive weeks, I went back to my Weight Watchers meetings this morning. The flu, colds, parties, gaining too much weight and not eating right kept me from attending. I didn't want to step on the scale and have my weight up.

I stepped on their scale this morning knowing full well that's what would happen. Up over 2 pounds. It could have been worse. Thanks to God for another day of the stomach flu this week (or at least food that didn't agree with me) to help the weight get back to manageable.

I think the overwhelming part of this is that as a lifetime member, I am allowed three months to return to my goal weight after returning from having a baby. I still have 20 pounds to lose and 2 weeks to do it in. As I was talking to Rod this morning, I determined that chopping off my legs might help me get to my goal weight!

In all sincerity, I do believe I am making progress. I will not be at goal by their deadline but I'm down over 10 pounds from when I returned 2 1/2 months ago. I'm also down 30 pounds from when I started back in 2003 and that is something to be celebrated.

The biggest success is that I am identifying the triggers in this struggle. I am also realizing that it's a battle I cannot win on my own. Without filling myself with the Bible and asking God to empower me, I will not succeed. It's not about weight this time. It's about my relationship with food.

Any time we allow something to consume us outside of God himself, we have a problem. I am working through this. It is a daily struggle for me. Actually, it is more like a minute-by-minute struggle for me. Faced with food continually during the day, I have a choice. I'm choosing not to live in guilt. Rather I'm living in freedom empowered by God to make right choices.

If you struggle in this area, you're not alone. Don't give up. I believe it is worth it to be healthy and free from the control of this addiction! (Calling it addiction is a new reality for me. It's easier to brush it off as a struggle. An addiction labels it as a necessity to change!)

1 comment:

  1. Jeff and I are right there with you Tristi! It's so nice to have someone else to work through this weight loss struggle with!