Monday, July 13, 2009

Jumbled thoughts and 13 years

I would really like to spend time writing on a regular basis.

Jogging is something I thoroughly enjoy. It clears my mind and makes me feel free. I wish I could figure out how to work it into my life consistently.

I have such a desire to spend more time with friends.

I think Jaycie is 3-months-old in my scrapbooking. It's about time to catch up.

My house doesn't know what "clean" looks like. Will it ever?

I own a guitar that I would love to learn how to play. I imagine sitting around the campfire singing as I play or even just with my husband and girls in the family room; maybe by the Christmas tree.

Reading takes me into a world without worries, cares or concern. It would be nice to have more time to spend doing that.

Spending time with my husband one-on-one, without the kids, is thoroughly enjoyable. Why don't we do it more?

My kids are always asking me to play and I'm always too busy accomplishing nothing on this list to stop and spend time with them. I didn't realize this until I was out with a friend tonight for dinner and some much needed conversation. She was talking about how she has a distinct "to do" list that needs to be completed before she will agree to playing with her kids. I didn't even realize that is what I do until she said this. After all, my life has nothing to show for it. Our husbands are quite the contrast. They walk in the door ready to play with their kids. I had to smile as I watched Rod play tag with the girls yesterday in the back yard. I could hear the older ones giggling as I peaked out the window to see him dodging back and forth with the baby content in his arms as they played. I love him more as I watch him be a daddy to our little girls.

I really didn't know where this post was going to go. I just knew I wanted to write. My mind is so jumbled with all my "want to's" that I never write anymore.

Last week, Rod and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary. It's been a while since I had the freedom to so thoroughly enjoy my time with him. We walked around IKEA and dreamed about the different things we would buy (knowing full well that we have no money to purchase anything). We went out for a lunch where I listened to him talk about his job. I found myself thinking that it was actually nice hearing him talk about what he spends most of his time doing. I wasn't even irritated that we weren't talking about me! (I know, imagine that!) We went to Famous Dave's where they had sweet potato fries with marshmallow dip. I absolutely love sweet potatoes! Fry them and they're simply to die for! That's not to mention dipping them in a marshmallow concoction. We had bread pudding for dessert and our time wasn't over. We picked up the older girls and took them to see "Up". This was Jaycie's first movie. (For me, this brought up some irrational emotions. We took Nikelle to see "Happy Feet" for her first movie. Dad and Mom had kept Jaycie and we enjoyed our time. When we got back, we talked about how Dad couldn't shake a bug he had caught. I distinctly remember telling him, 'There's something going around that hangs on for a while, Dad. But don't let me be the reason you die because I talk you out of going to the doctor. The next morning, Dad had collapsed on the floor and shortly after, our lives changed forever.) It was fun to watch the girls as they watched the movie. Jaycie sat on a booster chair made special for theater seating. They both kept their hands going into the popcorn bag and drinking their icees as well as sharing the chewy sweet tarts with their parents. (Rod and I have issues with spilling candy in theaters, however.) It is so special to sit with our kids as we celebrated our anniversary watching a movie that couldn't have ended the celebration any better.

Rod and I both wrote in our anniversary cards about growing old, sitting in our rocking chairs, on our front porch. Every day, I am impressed with the fact that this dream is not a given. I am so thankful for every day I have with the man God gave me. I truly am better because he is in my life. We are a great team and I think our girls will be better because of it.

10 years ago, I never would have dreamed my heart would stir with the emotions they stir with currently. We had a rocky start. Yet, just as I know that I am a better reflection of Christ because of everything I've gone through in the loss of my dad, I am also a more complete person because of Rod. I'm excited for what our future holds. Both here and in eternity.


  1. Good thoughts about the to-do list that leaves us with nothing to show anyway. Like you, I watch my husband to learn how to be more playful...and I end up happier when I put his example into action myself! It might even help to put it on the to-do list each day. ;) Congrats on your anniversary!

  2. I've got some scheduled in a round about way until school starts once a week. I'll learn. It's just going to take some sacrifice on my part.