Friday, September 11, 2009

Facing the Day

Our pastor shared this video with us at church the other day. It really fits my life (not that my mom talks a lot). I do NOT manage my time wisely. Sure, I think about the best way to accomlish everything that needs to be done. I just never seem to actually rise up to the task.

The other day as I was faced with another unending to-do list, I picked up a book entitled "Only Nuns Change Habits Overnight" by Karen Scalf Linnamen. In the book, she talks about procrastination. Now, I've never really thought I was one to procrastinate - until now. Karen talks about the real reason why I avoid all of my surmounting projects. It's not that I don't want to complete anything, I simply don't want to deal with all the feelings that go along with it.

For example, after gathering groceries at the store yesterday, the cashier feels the need to state the obvious to me (with a smile, of course). "It looks like you were out of just about everything." Well, duh! I put off grocery shopping until the very last possible moment (like when I realize I have only two diapers left for the baby) because I always spend too much money. It doesn't matter how much planning I do, I cannot figure out how to save money like so many frugal moms out there (my sister). It is downright frustrating and I feel like a huge failure. Therefore, I don't go grocery shopping until I absolutely have to.

I avoid dishes and laundry because I hate feeling overwhelmed and the lack of accomplishment that goes along with these neverending chores. I never seem to be able to complete either one because we are always eating and wearing clothes!

As for exercising, I've put that off, too. I injured myself when I was training for the full marathon two years ago. While I have taken the step forward to attend physical therapy and work towards some healing, I quit running. I kept telling the therapist that I just didn't have time to work it in to my schedule. Although there is a tidbit of truth in that statement, I think the main reason I didn't want to tie up my running shoes was because I did not want to face the discouragement involved in feeling the pain in my leg and foot again.

I could go on and on with examples - like eating right. In my head (and all of its bizzare thoughts), it is easier to just eat junk all day and know I am going to get fat and be unhealthy than it is to actually eat healthy and go to way in at Weight Watchers only to be met with a surprising number that leaves me $12 poorer.

All in all, what this author had to say in her book impacted me. I need to face the emotions rather than avoid the tasks. I have used my unraveling, unreliable treadmill twice this week. I've pulled out a food journal every day (not that I've eaten healthy but at least the thought is there). And today, I have clean counters and laundry going. Not to mention I've released endorphins from accomplishing some tasks that leave me feeling energized (which is exactly what this book said would happen).

All in all, it's better to face my feelings and work through them. Putting them off is leaving me unhappy, unhealthy and potentially without any underwear! (I know, TMI but it fit the sentence.)

Now that I have some clean clothes, I will actually go take a shower and pick up my daughter from the bus stop. Hey, better late than never.


  1. At least you are putting on clean clothes after your shower instead of dirty ones..otherwise, no need to shower really :)LOL Thanks for the inspiration, I think I have exactly 15 minutes to do some uncluttering in this room, and so I'm starting now! Talk to you soon :)

  2. Of course you procrastinate! Housework is just mind-numbing torture with no rewards whatsoever. And to make it worse, we have to do it over and over and over! Who in their right mind would actually look forward to that?

    Aunt Rose

  3. I love reading about your thought process! You always make me smile. Thank you for being such an open and motivating friend!