Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Chameleon

Chameleon
You blend with your surroundings
Chameleon
No one knows where you come from
Chameleon
You change with every situation
Compromising dedication


These lyrics by Petra have been on my mind recently because I am tired of the chameleon game. Oh, we all do it to some extent. When we're at home, we may feel uninhibited. At church, we think we are expected to put on an act. With one group of friends our words are loose. With our family, we feel the need to bite our tongues so as not to offend. It's never-ending the way we change who we are for the people we are with.

Honestly, I'm tired of it. I'm tired of the expectations people put on me and the fact that I actually strive to live up to them. I'm done playing games with people in my life who pretend to be one way when they're around me and then they go off with someone else acting a completely different way. What is it exactly that makes us think we need to be someone other than ourselves ALL the time?

Realistically, I'm certain it has something to do with acceptance. We all want to belong. We all long to be loved. We want people to love us for who we are. And yet, how can we expect this when we are unwilling to be authentic? Could it be that we just don't know who we are? We're so busy trying to please everyone that we have no idea where to begin when it comes to being real? I mean, really, what would that even look like?

I am so incredibly grateful that I my identity is established in God. That is so freeing! I can be God's child at home, with friends, at church, running errands, in the business world, with extended family and at my daughters' schools. I can be myself because I am a child of God and that does not change!

As a Child of God, I have a filter to examine my life through. I don't need for everyone to accept and love me. I don't need the approval of my parents, siblings, friends, or anyone else. All I need is God's acceptance. And I am so grateful that I have that unconditionally. He knew me before I was born. He loved me enough to send Jesus to die for me before I even heard about His love for me.

As I struggle through this life, I can live securely in my identity: a Child of God. I'm tired of not really knowing people. I'm tired of feeling their lack of desire to know me. I am going to start investing more time in the one relationship I don't have to beg for. And maybe, just maybe, all my relationships will be stronger because of this one at the center.

And what does the Lord require of [me]? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God. - Micah 6:8

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