Thursday, October 1, 2009

Sorting it out

I wish I could sort out my thoughts. I feel a bit like Mel Gibson’s character in a scene on “What Women Want”. The gist of the storyline is that Mel Gibson is able to hear women’s thoughts. It is overwhelming to him. At one point, he is walking around the city attempting to figure out what is going on. He can hear the thoughts of the bell women in front of the hotel. He can hear the thoughts of a little female dog as well. Then he is in a park when an entire group of women are running in the opposite direction he is walking on the path. He holds his ears as this entire pack of women’s thoughts attempt to invade his mind.

I don’t know what other’s are thinking (even though I like to think I do), but I feel a lot this character in that moment. I want to hold my ears tighter hoping to block out all the thoughts attempting to invade my mind. There are just too many and it’s exhausting me. My schedule. My friends. My family. My desires. My faults. It goes on and on. I simply cannot stop the voices in my head. (I know. I know. Entirely different issue.)

I think it’s why I can talk myself into getting on the treadmill. Those 30 minutes allow me time to talk to God and work through the multitude of thoughts disrupting my life. I can give many of my problems to God and take a few minutes to focus in on my day. No noise from kids. No T.V. Only the noises from the treadmill (and if I’m on top of things, the washer and dryer as well).

At church, we’ve been doing a series on “Crazy Busy”. I can identify with the latest way to combat this crazy busy lifestyle. That is to Shut if Off. I used to think I was one that needed background noise. Now, what I am realizing more than ever, is that all that noise drives me insane. That’s why I thrive early in the morning when everything is quiet. I can think straight. As soon as one of my little ones are up, that moment is over. I can no longer think straight because someone is always making demands of me.

I’m going to attempt to continue to take time each day in quiet. It is so beneficial. I might get used to it.

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