Thursday, April 22, 2010

Lost and Consumed

I can easily be consumed over just about anything. When I lose something, however, there is little that can distract me from searching for the lost item. This has been the story over the past few days.

Jewelry is not something you find adorning my body very often. I wear a watch (for running) and my wedding ring (it is actually an anniversary band we purchased on our 5th anniversary). Every now and then I will wear a necklace and on a rare occasion, a bracelet.

This being said, it is not a big shock that almost immediately when I get in the house, all jewelry comes off. This includes my watch and ring. I often hook my ring onto the band of the watch so that it won’t be quite so easy to lose. I then set my watch and ring combo on the kitchen counter, the microwave, the bathroom mirror or place it in the pocket of my bag that I carry everywhere.

I only notice that I am not wearing my watch and ring when I leave the house for some reason. Monday night, as I ran out the door for a meeting, I did a quick glance at the kitchen counter but did not see them. I figured they were probably in my bag but couldn’t find them as I looked prior to the meeting. I wasn’t too worried.

On Tuesday, as I left the house to take my daughter to school, I checked the kitchen counter and microwave for my ring. Unable to place them, I became a little more concerned. Still, I figured it would turn up when I actually spent the time organizing and looking for it.

Tuesday night, I met my girlfriend for a walk/run. I really wanted my watch to time the intervals we’d be doing but still could not find them. I came home from the run and searched my bag again. I opened every zipper, took out every item and put everything back in. I searched my bathroom, my bedroom and the kitchen to no avail. Frustrated, I drowned my emotions in a box of crackers with some cheese. This was only a temporary solution, and not a good one at that.

I went to bed praying and woke up the next morning determined not to find comfort in food but rather give it all over to God. My prayer was that He would help me find the watch and ring.

My mind was scattered. I did not recall taking them off anywhere outside of the house but I did my best to retrace my steps over the weekend. I searched by the computer because I had gone straight to check my e-mail when I got home both Saturday night and Sunday morning. They were not there. Was it possible that they could have fallen out of my bag somewhere as I was out and about and fell out of the van? I even went to Jewel-Osco on the slim hope that someone may have found them and turned them in. Nope. I was really losing my mind.

I searched the toy box (getting rid of some stuffed animals in the process) in hopes that I had set them somewhere within the baby’s reach. I figured she could have easily taken them and put them somewhere. As I cleaned my house, I remembered what I had worn Saturday and Sunday and decided it wouldn’t hurt to check the pockets. My husband had already washed my jeans. (He’s great with helping with the household chores!) I dug through the hamper for my sweatshirt and yelled! For some bizarre reason, I chose to put my watch and ring in my sweatshirt pocket! Whoo-hoo! I felt so light-hearted and it made me think.

Besides asking God to help me find the lost items, I had prayed that He would keep me from being completely consumed with finding them. I continually prayed giving it over to Him again and again. I knew if they had fallen out of my bag somewhere outside of the house, they were gone with no hope of finding them again. Worrying about it would do no good. I also knew that if they were in the house somewhere, eventually they would show up. I prayed that He would help me remember to turn to Him for comfort and direction rather than eat away my worries.

I had a girlfriend call me last minute to come over for a spur of the moment visit. This gave me other things to think about. It took me outside of myself. I went out and got my haircut as my mom watched the girls. I took a book and found myself easily lost in the story. My mind returned to the items I lost as soon as I left but I believe God was teaching me through it all.

I get so totally consumed with finding material items that I’ve lost. I can be distracted here and there but overall, my mind does not let up. So many different things consume me and they’re not good. They serve no positive purpose.

What would happen in my life if I allowed God to consume my thoughts and actions the way this experience has? I believe God is working to teach me this these days. I’m thankful not just that I found my watch and ring. I’m truly grateful that God is far more satisfying than anything else I allow to consume me.

No comments:

Post a Comment