Thursday, July 29, 2010

Second Guessing

“Is this the right time to try to have a baby or not?” I should be grateful that this was not a question we asked in regard to having our first child. Other than that moment (thanks to God making that decision for us), Motherhood seems to be a lot of second guessing for me.

What birthing classes were right for us? Should I get an epidural or resist the pain medications? Should I nurse or bottle-feed? Although "back is best" for sleep, would she sleep better on her belly? Is she crying because she is hungry? Is she in pain? Is she just tired? Am I doing the right thing by letting her crying or holding her? Should I keep the baby on a schedule? When is the right time to start solids? Immunizations are best, right?

When is the right time to take my child to the doctor? I don’t want to be one of those moms who run to the doctor every time her child gets a little sneeze but I also don’t want to be neglectful. What is the right decision for my child’s education? Do I put my daughter in preschool? What about Kindergarten? Half day or full day? Should I home school? Public or Private school?

Question after question after question leaves me second guessing myself as a mom. It never ends. While I have a gut feeling, I just want to do right by my daughters. I want to do what is best for each of them. It may not always be the same choice either. I didn’t put my oldest in 3-year-old preschool while we did with our second daughter. I invited a lot of friends to Nikelle’s 4th birthday party but Jaycie had just a few close friends?

Yesterday, Jaycie had a fever and complained about a sore throat. I was fairly certain that she would feel better today but I began second guessing myself again. She cried every time I attempted to get her to drink something. Rod encouraged me to take her to the doctor and I called a friend who encouraged me to do the same as well. I scheduled the appointment wondering if it was the right decision.

After receiving the peace of mind that she did not have strep throat, I now had decisions to face concerning the rest of my week. Do I continue with my plans to visit extended family at a cottage near Shipshewana, Indiana? I gave myself the deadline that Jaycie needed to be feeling better by the evening last night. She was still complaining about her throat, so I called my cousin to cancel. I called my sister-in-law to cancel swim lessons for today as well.

Jaycie slept well last night and when I felt her forehead this morning, she seemed fine. I wonder if I made the right decision by canceling swim lessons today. She really will have been fever free for 24 hours by then and probably won’t complain of anything today if last night’s bedtime was an indication of anything.

I must remain secure in the decision I made. Rest is good for all of us. I need to seek God in these moments more often. I need to ask him what I should do and turn to the resources he has given me to make these decisions. Rod will usually give me his opinion if I take the time to ask. I need to allow him to make more decisions for me. I also need to seek advice from friends and doctors and quit trying to attempt to figure out life on my own.

Proverbs 20:18a – “Make plans by seeking advice”
Proverbs 12:15 – “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
Proverbs 15:22 – “Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.”

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