Friday, October 1, 2010

Creating Margins for Unscheduled Interruptions

I heard Jill Savage speak last weekend about leaving margin in your life. She opened a book to explain that it is the margins that allow us to read the words on the paper clearly and stress free.

Withoutmarginoneslifeitlookssomethinglikethisandonefeelsabitstressedoutthereisnoroomforanythingextrainalifeiwthoutmarginthereisverylittletimeforrestandonesfusecangetveryshortandfindthemselveslongingforsometimetorecharge

I found myself wishing I had allowed some margin in my life this week. I really had thought I started to be intentional in this area. This week only emphasize how little I have changed. I have left no room for exercise or meal planning let alone thinking or resting. I certainly did not leave any room for the disturbances that came into play. I was at the end of my rope.

Earlier this week, my daughter attended an after school program for the first time where transportation home was to be provided. While I had just enjoyed a day with her at the Chicago Children’s Museum on her class field trip, I left her at school to attend “Camp Fitness” and was home in time to meet her at her appointed drop off time on the bus route. Knowing this was the first day of the bus route, my friend and I waited a good 15-20 minutes before contacting one another for assurance that both of our daughters were still together on the bus. As time continued to creep by without any sign of our children, I attempted to contact the school and the bus company. I was informed that “there was a hysterical child on the bus” they were attempting to deal with and the bus was running late but was assured that the driver was on his way again. Needless to say, as 40, 50 and 60 minutes rolled by without any sign of my daughter, tension began to rise. I was on the phone apologizing ahead of time for my tone of voice to the bus company as I cried that I wanted my daughter home and my nerves got the best of me just as her bus pulled up.

My daughter was thankfully oblivious to the depth of her tardiness. I struggled with giving the benefit of the doubt to the bus driver. And finding the positive twist in this scenario was next to impossible for me. My entire day was thrown off but the important thing was that my daughter was home safely.

It does something to you when you rely on complete strangers to transport your child to and from school. Ultimately, I know I am trusting God but there is some level of responsibility involved as a mother on my part. That responsibility found me on the phone the next day with my daughter’s school as well as the District’s transportation department. I found myself uneasy with agreeing to allow my daughter to take the bus again for the after school program but was pleased with the attention I was given from both offices.

This one fiasco in my day threw off my entire week. The amount of energy, emotion and brain power it took from me was not allotted in my week. I was drained and found myself only beginning to feel better after my daughter returned home safely today once again (late, but not nearly as disturbing). She was put on a different bus route and this bus driver actually apologized and attempted to explain to me the situation when she dropped my daughter off only 20 minutes late.

I am appreciative to each and every adult who invests in my daughter’s life each day. It was comforting to have my mom here already helping with the little ones so my focus could be on the situation with my oldest child. I’m thankful that I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be that day of the bus incident. I am so grateful for my friend who walks through these moments with me as our daughters grow up together. More than anything, I am indebted to my God who loves and cares about my daughter more than I could ever fully realize.

I need to create more margins into my day. I do not allow room for the unscheduled interruptions. I need to follow God’s example of utilizing a day of rest. I need to implement some positive change into my life and it needs to come sooner than later.

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