Saturday, January 30, 2010

Jesus in my heart

Rod just finished putting the girls to bed tonight. He told me that Jaycie asked where her heart was. He told her that she could feel her heartbeat if she put her hand over her chest. She did and responded with, "It's beatingbecause Jesus is walking around in there."

Friday, January 29, 2010

You are my God

I came across Psalm 22:9-10 this morning while I was reading. I just found these verses cool. They seem to apply to my life. Growing up with God's teaching from my parents and embracing God and His truths along the way, has always made me feel like I could say He was my God since the moment I was born. I know that I made a decision later wherein I personalized that I would follow Him and live my life for Him. Still, I always trusted in God's promises and the security of eternal life as far back as I can remember. These verses are from the New Living Translation. Maybe that's why it stood out to me. I've always read other versions. I like the way reading a different version can make a verse stand out to you in a whole new way.

"You brought me safely from my mother’s womb and led me to trust you at my mother’s breast. I was thrust into your arms at my birth. You have been my God from the moment I was born."

Friday, January 15, 2010

Perspective, perspective

Perspective: Jaycie went to preschool yesterday and when she did, the baby took a morning nap for me and I was able to rest as well.

Perspective: Jaycie did not get hurt on those stairs. She was totally fine.

Perspective: I was not the one having to do laundry because someone else's kid puked all over mine. My poor friend had that added responsibility.

Perspective: It's true what they say about expectations. When I expect to sleep through the night, it's extremely difficult to get up and take care of a child. When I expected last night to wake up every four hours when the Tylenol wore off, I was more than able to jump out of bed to take care of my little one. Her fever seems to be down and I'm thankful for that.

Perspective: I have no places that I need to be this weekend. It stinks that I'll likely be missing church again but I connect with plenty of people on a daily basis. Rest will do us good.

Perspective is a wonderful thing. It always comes fresh and more clearly in the morning for me. I realize I can really be dramatic to get the sympathy when I want. All is well here. Just some bugs that we will fight off in a short time.

One more thing to keep perspective. Rod's been taking Nikelle to the bus stop every morning this week. It's just one less thing I've had to do in the morning which is nice. The little ones are still sleeping so I'm going to lay down and rest until they wake up.

This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it! - Psalm 118:24

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Excuses, excuses

After blogging about not making excuses anymore, my day today did not help me along. The baby woke up in the middle of the night last night with a fever. I was up for an hour with her and took her to the doctor today. Basically, I need to watch her. She should be better in 7-10 days.

When I was about to take my middle daughter to preschool this morning, we were walking down the stairs talking when she fell. I was holding the baby and couldn't do anything but watch. I saw her rolling and sliding head first. I was terrified. I believe I screamed. Thankfully, God took care of her and the worst was simply that she got scared. She fell down quite a few stairs.

After my oldest got home from school today, my friend called to inform me that my daughter got sick on the bus on the way to school. This was not a surprise as Nikelle will often get car sick. She doesn't do well with the motion and she was too warm and was likely reading or writing with her friend. Unfortunately for her friend, Nikelle lost her breakfast on her friend. Thankfully, her friend was wearing all her snow gear. Unfortunately for my friend, her daughter shoved all her snow gear into her backpack to bring home at the end of the day.

Needless to say, I didn't exercise as I had planned this morning and my good eating habits went out the window where the germs need to go. I'm feeling tired and my ears hurt, my throat is burning and it doesn't look good for me to avoid catching this bug (although I'm still hopeful). I may still be making excuses but I'm too tired and feeling to blah to even care.

Tomorrow is a new day.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

No more excuses

It seems like there is always some sort of excuse coming out of my mouth as to why I can't live a healthy lifestyle. The kids are sick... The kids don't let me sleep.... My calendar is too full... My emotions are too out-of-whack... I can only focus on one thing at a time... I'm good at making excuses.

On Sunday I ate something that didn't agree with me. It sent my body to a bad place. At the same time, it kind of jump started weight loss. Or so I thought. Today I got on the scale and was not happy with what I saw. I haven't been journaling but I have been making better food choices and I got on the treadmill both Sunday and Tuesday morning. I'm tempted to quit. To just go back to eating junk. It's easy that way. And I find it comforting.

I'm not going to, though. I've set a goal for myself and it is not going to be reached if I continue to make excuses. I need to change. The thought hit me that my niece is having a swim party for her birthday in February. I think Rod can take the girls in the water. I don't think my swimsuit will fit. Ugh! I should be able to lose the weight by June. It's just going to require some effort.

No matter how hard I wish, the weight does not come off while I continue to eat empty calories and sit on my butt. No more excuses!!!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Cancelled

We cancelled our cable. Actually, we have our phone and internet through cable, still. We've simply reduced the amount of channels we can watch. Now it's the local channels... 2, 5, 7, 9, Fox. The basics. It was such a difficult decision to make. I cannot even tell you how long I've felt that God was telling me I watch too much television. I simply was unwilling to give it up. I so enjoy being able to flip on the T.V. and escape. Allowing my mind to numb is such a fabulous feeling. I guess it really came down to our finances that finally prompted us to cut it. That's a good chunk of change each month for a habit that does us no good. We finally followed through on the prompting right before Christmas. Starting this new year, we no longer have the opportunity to sit and flip through channels mindlessly. (Well, we can, it just takes less than a minute to do so.)

Rod said it best the other night. He said something like "It's somewhat freeing not to have all the channels to surf through. It almost seemed like we had to just because they were there." Now that they aren't there, my house is cleaner and I've really enjoyed reading some good books. I even think I'm thinking a little more clearly now.

It's still hard sometimes. There are moments I really want to see what is on the Hallmark channel. There are times the kids would like to watch something on Disney. Overall, though, we can easily slip in a movie or watch WTTW if we feel the urge. I think this is a great change entering the new year. Most of all, I feel like it is an obedience issue. I feel like God has been asking me what is more important for a long time. He's asked me to get rid of the way I fill my mind with junk and spend more time on the important things. I feel like I finally submitted and it's a good feeling. I wonder why I didn't give in sooner? Why is it so hard to give up control sometimes?

Now, off to finish Twilight... (not exactly the more important things, but it's a book my cousin gave me to read and there's a lot in it that makes me think about self-control and true sacrificial love).

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mr. Sandman...how I long for some sleep!

I am well aware of my problems. It's actually implementing the change that I can seem to grasp. I yell too much, eat too much and am on the go way too much. I don't exercise enough, I don't discipline myself and I don't live a balanced life. I'm attempting to be intentional.

Yesterday was a good day. I ate well. I watched the words that came out of my mouth and the way they left. And when I screwed up, I faced it (apologized where necessary) and moved on.

I went to bed by 10 last night only to wake up again at midnight, 2 and 4 to start my day at 6 and that doesn't include 2:10 and 4:30 and whatever other crazy times in there I had just gotten cozy in my bed again to be rudely awakened by my daughter. I don't have a newborn in my house anymore. Sadly enough, the baby would have slept through the night last night, too. If my 4-year-old wasn't yelling at me for every reason under the moon! Thankfully, the baby went back to sleep without my assistance because I was attending to my preschooler while my husband snored away.

Needless to say, this morning was a rough start. I still managed to get the little ones bathed and my middle child off to preschool without being too late. I got to the grocery store and was able to purchase some much needed groceries. All the while maneuvering through the piles of snow. I managed to shovel the driveway which was my exercise for the day and I had even started my day with my One-Year Bible.

It's as though I can't concentrate on too much at once. I think I've managed to keep my tongue and temper under some control but I've eaten things I really have no business having. I just want to gain control of my life! I want to live a balanced life in every way. It seems like one day will be good in one area while the next day it's flipped. I need to just learn to be grateful for the moment and be happy with that.

At this moment, I'm happy that my baby finally decided to settle down for a nap. I laid her down about 2 hours ago and she was happily chatting away for the longest time. When she began yelling at me, I checked on her to make certain all was fine. Confirming there was nothing wrong, I read her a story and put her back to bed. I'm thankful she is finally taking a nap. It was going to be a really long evening otherwise.

Dora is entertaining Jaycie and I'm about to get my oldest from the bus stop. I'm longing for Mr. Sandman to send me some dreams tonight. I'm just concerned about the time from here to there and praying I don't do too much damage until then.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

January

I feel like this holiday season was somewhat of a blur and I wanted to fight against that so desperately. It seems that whenever I decide to become intentional about something everything pulls me in the opposite direction. For example, I was praying yesterday morning about making the right choices when it comes to the calendar. I want to be wise about what we allow on the calendar and what to say no to. It seems that there were a tremendous amount of opportunities thrown at me as soon as I started my day. I think I may have said no to just about all of them which wasn't intentional or my desire but I already have a busy week and I know that busyness is one of the main reasons I lose all self-control. When my calendar is full, I'm tired and cannot think straight. Deadlines create stress and that causes me to eat and yell. I want to exercise self-control. I think the best place to start is with my calendar. Just because a time slot is open, does not mean that I have to say yes to an invitation. I am free to say no because it will keep balance in my life. No matter how enticing the invitation may be. I'm glad the New Year always allows time for reflection. I'm just curious if I will actually apply these changes I want to make when February and the following months roll around.