Saturday, February 12, 2011


It was beginning to feel like this year would be designated towards nursing sick children back to good health. I realize it's only the 12th of February, and there have been healthy days more often than not, but our "home" has felt more like an infirmary than sanctuary to me these past weeks.

It didn't matter how much perspective I attempted to gain yesterday. I tried to remind myself about parents caring for children with long-term illnesses, those who long for the opportunity to care for a child they can call their own, or those who ache for moments past of rocking their child in their ams once again. I simply could not snap out of my destructive mindset. The bottom line was that I was spent and I needed a break.

This morning I woke up to a cry from my 2-year-old (I suppose 4 a.m. on a Saturday is technically still the middle of the night for most). After realizing she must have fallen quickly back asleep, my mind could not rest. I tip-toed into her room and brush her forehead to calm my worries. Content that her temperature seemed normal and hearing her breathing, I crawled back into bed hoping for a couple more hours of sleep. Sleep would not come.

I decided to get up and make the most of whatever uninterrupted time that I had to read. Uninterrupted time was something it seemed the flu bug in my children was aiming to take away from me (along with my energy, my joyful spirit and my sleep). I was going to make the most of this time.

Opening Lysa Terkeurst's book, Made to Crave, I read about how I could "satisfy my deepest desires with God, not food." At the same time, I was reminded of so much more as she talked about God's power in raising Christ from the dead. Ephesians 1:19-20 states "That power is like the working of His mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms." I can connect with that. Giving life, especially when that life has ended, is something only our God can do.

What energized me this morning was the reminder that as Christians, we are given the Holy Spirit to enable us with this same power. While I'm not saying that we can raise people from the dead, we are told that this very power that raised Christ from the dead is available to help us. "And if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus fromthe dead is living in you, He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit, who lives in you." (Romans 8:11)

While Lysa is reminding me that I have power to say no to the temptation of food, she is also reminding me that I can access this power for everything. When I feel beyond exhausted, short-fused, discouraged and defeated, I need to know that God can give me strength, patience, hope and victory.

It reminds me of the song we've been singing in church: Our God by Chris Tomlin. The song is full of repetative truth. Every time we sing it in church (which feels a bit more powerful than listening to it on You Tube), I leave enabled to take on the day!

I'm learning that the way to overcome my destructive thoughts is to fill my mind with truth. "So what should we say about this? If God is for us, no one can defeat us." Romans 8:31

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