Thursday, July 21, 2011

Like and Unlike Mom



As I watch my girls interact each day, I can't help but see my flaws reflecting back on me. I listen to my youngest yell at the top of her lungs demanding that her voice be heard and it makes me want to change. My 5-year-old loses all rationality when she gets tired and it leads me to wonder if she will fight this struggle in adulthood as well. As I witness my oldest losing patience with her youngers sisters, I can't help but think my example is being followed. It is easy to see the negative behaviors I have passed down to my girls. My fear is that they will only remember these into their adulthood.

In the same way, I've always been quick to blame my parents for the negative characteristics I display. I like to have control and often strive too much for perfection like my father. The way I keep house (or lack thereof) I learned from my mother (sorry mom). In my head, I am always able to excuse away my behavior as my parents' problems.

Today's Hearts at Home blog hop question "How are you like your mom? How are you different?" leaves me struggling. It is so easy to criticize parent/child similarities. I don't want this post to end up being a list of everything I wish I could change about myself had have that reflect on my mom. The truth is that the list of things I love about my mom is much longer than anything I'd criticize. I hope that holds true of what my girls will say about me in the future as well.

The first thing that comes to my mind when I think of one way I am like my mom is our passion for truth. It's not so much that we don't tolerate lies (although that is part of it) so much as we desire that our lives are lived according to God's Word. When advice is offered for our lives, the question must be asked: "What does God have to say about it?" Truth is our foundation. It is one thing I feel confident I am doing right and I'm grateful my mom passed that on to me.

One way I am not like my mom is in her love for children. Lock her up with a bunch of babies or a group of toddlers and she will be all smiles (although she may still need some Excedrin). Lock me up in a nursery and I feel like I'm missing out. I'll do it, but I'd much rather have the adult conversation. There is nothing my mom enjoys more than being with her grandchildren. I pray that God helps me be fully present with my children as they grow and I know it will take some major changes in my heart to become the kind of "Grams" my mom is. (However, it may simply be enough for me to remember the benefit my mom plays in raising my young children in order to do the same for my adult kids.)

Next time I wonder if all my girls will remember about me are my negative characteristics, all I need to do is think about what I remember about my parents. The positive always outweighs the negative. It's all about what we choose to remember. It wasn't until I became a parent myself that I realized they were simply trying to do their best. It's my choice if I hold onto the negative or the positive. I'm thankful that while I didn't have perfect parents, I had the best ones for raising me. I hope my girls will believe the same.

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1 comment:

  1. "It wasn't until I became a parent myself that I realized they were simply trying to do their best. It's my choice if I hold onto the negative or the positive. I'm thankful that while I didn't have perfect parents, I had the best ones for raising me."

    So true.
    We all make our mistakes as parents but it's a blessing to know that they probably won't remember most of those mistakes... and neither will we.

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