Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Threatening Sarcasm

I believed the lies running rampant in my heart. They stirred my feelings of insecurity. As my self-confidence waivers, sarcasm is my coping mechanism. When sarcasm rears its ugly head, even the very best of relationships are threatened.

You are not in competition with your best friend. I had to remind myself. It seemed silly really. She didn't even know there was a contest. The confusion on her face revealed her lack of understanding as to why my tongue was laced with mockery.

Immediately, I knew that my words had the potential to damage our friendship. The receiving end of a sarcastic comment is never a fun place to be. God began convicting my heart instantly as I worked on gaining control of my tongue. While I rehearsed an apology in my head, I wondered why I am so dependent on scornful words; especially when I know the misunderstanding it creates.

Unfortunately, I allowed my friend to walk away from our evening bewildered. I needed to identify the reason behind my insecurity so I could apologize sincerely. Even with the confidence that my dear friend would forgive me, “I was wrong” always turns to cotton in my mouth.

I went to sleep with a heavy heart. Friends do not behave the way I had. Waking up, I knew my apology needed to be extended not only for her benefit, but mine as well. My uncontrolled tongue most certainly left my friend perplexed and fighting her own insecurities. Thankfully, one honest apology broke the cycle. It is never easy to seek forgiveness but it was certainly necessary.

Few have had to forgive the magnitude of my wrongs the way this friend has. We’ve had our rough spots and it is certain that we will face more in the future. My friend and I are in agreement that the hard times have been more than worth the effort. Facing our tensions head-on has only strengthened our relationship. I’ve become quite the expert at apologizing and she is teaching me to forgive.

Here’s the bottom line: Our words and actions impact those around us. All our hope for things to blow over will never fix the problem. Unaddressed conflicts will leave our relationships failing to thrive. We need to start living with love. True love is more than talk. Sincere love always involves apologies and forgiveness.

My children, we should love people not only with words and talk, but by our actions and true caring. – 1 John 3:18

1 comment:

  1. "True love is more than talk. Sincere love always involves apologies and forgiveness."

    Absolutely beautiful Tristi.

    Thank you for sharing your insecurities with us and for encouraging us to fight for our friendships!