Monday, June 11, 2012

Trusting Perfection


“No matter who you are – Trust God” was the message I was supposed to convey in our children’s program in a couple of hours. With anxiety flooding over me, I struggled with whether to scratch my scheduled exercise in an attempt to memorize a bit more of my script. My mind was busy playing the comparison game. There were so many people good at what I was about to do. I didn’t want to appear inept. I wondered how I would look with my cue cards in hand. Defeated, I laced up my running shoes and set out to the road.

Leaving my music behind, with my practiced script written on index cards in an attempt to memorize while I ran, I very shortly realized that I had left half of the cards at home. Ugh! So much for the idea of killing two birds with one stone. I tucked the index cards between some nearby plants to pick up at the end of my run so I could focus on the task at hand. Wanting to rid myself of the anxious feelings, I began to pray. “Help the kids to get the message that no matter who they are, they can trust you.”

Stop.

Think.

What did you just say?

Even with the inadequacy I was feeling... did I trust God to deliver His message? Why was I having such a difficult time with the upcoming teach? Was I about to present a message that I wasn’t even applying in my own life?

While I enjoy this type of serve, it doesn’t necessarily come easy for me. Some people seem gifted in the area of memorizing and public speaking. Every Sunday morning, my pastors clearly present God’s word without need of any apparent script. Why was this so difficult for me?

I felt God whispering the morning’s message in my heart. It was time to let go of the standard of perfection I had created in my mind and trust in The Perfection. Hours were spent getting accustomed to the script presented to me. God knew I had honestly done my best to be ready. It was time to let go and trust Him. “No matter who you are – Trust God” was a message I could not only present to the children that morning but also apply to my own life at the very moment I was teaching it.

How often do I attempt to teach God’s truth to others without ever applying it to my own life? As I stood in front of the kids, my adrenaline was up, my shirt was soaked with perspiration and my face felt flushed. But my heart was full of the message God had taught me that morning.

When all was said and done, I had forgotten to include some lines from the script. There were parts where the kids should have interacted that were dropped for times’ sake. Mistakes were evident to me. And my cue cards were accessible for peaking at throughout the entire teach. But God didn’t need me to be perfect to get across His word. He just needed me to be willing and trust Him as the definition of Perfection.
"Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track. Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best. Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over. But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction. It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this." - Proverbs 3:5-6 (MSG)
"The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” - 1 Samuel 16:7

1 comment:

  1. I was feeling like this a while back, feeling like I wasn't at my best but still being obligated to complete the task. And, even with all of my mistakes, things didn't fall apart. God still moved in people's lives. Sometimes I think the missteps can help all the more, so that people around us can relate and walk alongside us instead of picturing us on a pedestal and wondering why they don't measure up. Humility can bring camaraderie.

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