My ideals simply didn’t match up with my reality. Pining over friendship vows sworn by Anne Shirley and Diana Barry in the beauty of Green Gables, left me unfulfilled. Deep down I knew it was unrealistic to think all childhood friendships could stand the test of time. Still, the movie, Beaches, left me longing for bonds that would stand secure at our death beds. My mind understood that even Rachel, Monica and Phoebe had written scripts that helped them work out their differences as Friends. So, how could I put aside the friendship fantasy and embrace reality instead?
“When someone fails you, don’t be stunned. It just confirms what the Bible teaches – that we’re all sinners, that there’s none that is righteous, no not one. While it is important to love and cherish our friends, our dependence should be on God alone – for only He is without sin and only He will never let us down.” – Dee Brestin, The Friendship of Women
These days, I appear an open book, putting my everything out there as a statement of “take me or leave me”. As if it doesn’t matter. It’s a dare to love and be loved.
If I were truly to unveil my soul to you, there would be a window I peak through offering but guarding. I extend myself carefully. This is my calling. I am nothing if I will not risk it all for love. Love for my God. Love for others. Trusting is not natural or even easy. Yet I know to dare is the only way to live. There were arms opened wide on the cross reminding me of a cost so great it forbids me from coddling my own wounded heart. I cannot deny His calling on my life. He gave up everything. When I desire to cling to my life, I look at the way He sacrificed His and I lay mine down. In His love I find security and I wish to give others a glimpse of that, too.
My needs and desires will be filled by my God. My fears and scars are for Him to bandage. My life is to fulfill His mission: Love God with my whole heart, soul, mind and strength and to Love others as myself.
“Do not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” - Galatians 6:9