Thursday, February 14, 2013

Wildflowers, Roses, Specks and Logs

I can always count on my husband. My girls can too. Just this morning, our blonde-haired, brown-eyed 7-year-old asked her daddy. "Dad... you know how today is Valentine's Day... and you sometimes bring us home flowers? Can you bring us home some flowers on your way home from work tonight?" My husband just smiled because he had already delivered.

This is a picture of our dining room table this morning. We are a household of females loved on by the one man we all rely upon. The wall art (previously pointed out to my liking) was a gift he successfully went and picked up without my knowledge months ago. The bag of one of my absolute favorite candy bars was a gift that I won't be opening anytime soon for fear of devouring them too quickly. And then there are the flowers...

Apparently, my daughter proved that flowers really are the way to the heart of a girl... a single blue rose for her, a red one for her little sister and a purple one for the oldest. The wild flowers are mine. Funny thing about this standard token of love... while I love the thought, I'm just not a particular fan of things that die. My husband once asked me what my favorite type of flower was. I responded with "the wild kind". Hence the vase of "wild" flowers.

When I said that I like wild flowers, I meant the kind that show their beauty outside. In the ground. Where they belong. He was determined to find a flower that I would enjoy receiving. In his mind, if he is going to buy his daughters flowers, he cannot leave me out. I LOVE his heart! This just reinforces my point that my man is one you can count on.

Can I be really honest? There are a lot of times I feel like I can NOT count on him. Right or wrong, it's what I feel. Today, I actually found myself disappointed. You read that right. Flowers, chocolates, card and a gift and I am not satisfied. I wanted roses.

Shake your head in disbelief.

Go on.

I am.

How is a woman who says she doesn't care about getting flowers still let down because of the type of flowers she receives?

I don't really know.

Do you know what I do know? I am NOT an easy woman to please. (Surprise!) I am NEVER satisfied. And this revelation helped me recognize that it doesn't really matter how I feel. I can barely sort out my own feelings. They are unreliable and my husband deserves a world of sympathy being married to me.

Recently, I heard Matthew 7:3-5 quoted in relation to marriage. “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye."

I don't think that I went into marriage wanting to change my husband. But that is exactly what I have been attempting to do for the past 16-1/2 years. The root of my unhappiness when it rears its ugly head is me. All too often, I am picking at his specks instead of dealing with the logs I carry around.

In this season of counting gifts, my dependable man in on the top of the list. I'm human. I don't feel love for my man all the time... no matter how wonderful he is. This Valentine's Day, I am choosing to see my husband as the perfect match for me. For while he has never attempted to change me, that's exactly what he has done. I am so much better for having him in my life.

And I will make this choice again next year on Valentine's Day and every day I need to remind myself that my feelings are unreliable. Not my man.

Still counting gifts...
111. Midnights announcing new days
112. Little legs pedaling bicycles uphill
113. Dead-end streets
114. Routine
115. Morning Sunrise
116. Dogs whose tails curl when happy
117. Husband I can count on
118. Chocolates
119. Wild flowers
120. Roses
121. Specks and logs that lead to change...

I'm linking up with my friend Darcy Wiley at her blog, Message in a Mason Jar for her Take Heart series talking about romance. We’d love to have you link up with us and share how God has helped you take heart in the midst of your own struggles in singleness, dating, married life or abandonment. The link-up is open through Friday night.


  1. This was really good. I think we all struggle at times with the disatisfaction that's really only in our heads and not in reality, I know I do. Thank you for sharing.

  2. I don't know if I've asked you before whether or not you've taken the Myers-Briggs or Keirsey temperament sorter. You may just be an idealist like me and idealists are always stubbing their toe on reality, as I say. ;) It does help to count the gifts....

    1. I'll have to look into that. I don't think I've looked into that. It wouldn't surprise me one bit.