Friday, November 9, 2007
Dad Update 11-8-07
Dad met with his doctor yesterday. The doctor told him that he must have 9 lives. He will meet with the doctor again next Wednesday (the 14th). A bone marrow test will be done. If the bone marrow shows now signs of the cancer, he will not need the additional chemotherapy. They will be able to put him into the stem cell preparation instead. Please pray that there will be no signs of the cancer so he does not need to go through an additional chemotherapy. Please also pray that he can eat and gain weight. In addition, we are praying for his blood counts to go back up where they need to be. He also needs the strength to exercise. Thank you for your prayers and I will inform you of the results of the bone marrow test when it is received.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
A Necessary Experience
Back in March I wrote an entry in my journal that went like this:
Tuesday seemed very normal. During swim class, Jaycie went and stayed with Grams because Papa had felt good enough to go to work. Grams took Jaycie to the park and was able to experience a taste of normalcy for a moment. Nike and I returned after swim and we had macaroni and cheese for lunch. Mom and I discussed the Bible. Jaycie went down for a nap and Nikelle and I walked over to the “Mokena park”. Nike enjoyed being “in charge” and leading me all over the park. Great Aunt Harriet and Cousin Richie brought dinner and we watched the girls run, dance, sing and squeal on the upstairs porch waiting for Papa to return home. Once Papa ate dinner, we showed the video from Nikelle’s spring musical he was unable to attend and talked a bit about how he was feeling.
It was a necessary day to experience. Reality quickly flooded in again as the doctors laid out the treatment plan on Wednesday.
Yesterday was another one of those days.
It’s been a month since Jaycie has seen my parents. Every day she asks about “Gaga and Papa”. When she asked yesterday and I told her we were going to their house to visit them, her face lit up with a huge smile. During the drive to Mokena, she asked numerous times for them. Then we pulled into their driveway. “Papa. Gaga. House.” Excitement filled the air.
When my mom opened the door, she was just as excited to see the girls as they were to see her and Papa. “Loud” does not even begin to describe the rest of our visit. Squeal after squeal. Smile after smile. Dominos were spilled all over the wood floor. Imagination turned the Dominos into telephones.
“Papa” just watched from his sofa and smiled. He looked better than he did on Sunday. I told him that. Actually, he looked really good considering. I told him that as well.
More squeals. Coloring. Juice. Playing with the dollhouse. Someone at the door. Great Aunt Harriet came once again and brought dad and mom some blueberry pie. Cousin Richie harvested some more broccoli out of dad’s garden. (It always does dad’s heart good to know people are consuming the food he enjoyed growing. He doesn’t want it to go to waste.)
Singing. Playing the piano. Moving chairs around the room. Medicine.
Oh, yeah. Medicine. Still need to remember all of this in the midst of the moment. Grams went to get Papa’s medicine to warm it up for when it needs to be administered.
J: “Papa meds?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. That’s Papa’s medicine.”
J: “Papa sick?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. Papa’s sick.”
J: (Working at folding her hands) “Better?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. We ask Jesus to make Papa better.”
Back to playing. Squeal. Upstairs. Downstairs. Looking at Photo Albums. Time to get Nike to Awana. Time to meet Daddy at Grandpa and Grandma Carlson’s for some time with them. Driving away.
Nike thinks aloud, “I wonder if Grams will be outside to wave goodbye.”
My heart sinks as I know this ritual is a highlight for the girls. “Probably not, Nike. It’s cold and Grams needs to take care of Papa.”
We drive around the circle drive and I slow down just to be sure.
I smile as I see Grams come out the door and down the stairs. “Bye.” “Bye.” “Bye.” She yells as she waves her arms.
In the midst of everything, she knows the importance of this ritual to my girls.
“Bye.” “Bye.” The girls wave and squeal as we pull away.
My emotions are tangled. Ecstatic that my girls were able to have such a wonderful time with my parents. Disheartened because they are a little too educated on the battle with cancer. Grateful that my girls know who is in control and I pray.
Tuesday seemed very normal. During swim class, Jaycie went and stayed with Grams because Papa had felt good enough to go to work. Grams took Jaycie to the park and was able to experience a taste of normalcy for a moment. Nike and I returned after swim and we had macaroni and cheese for lunch. Mom and I discussed the Bible. Jaycie went down for a nap and Nikelle and I walked over to the “Mokena park”. Nike enjoyed being “in charge” and leading me all over the park. Great Aunt Harriet and Cousin Richie brought dinner and we watched the girls run, dance, sing and squeal on the upstairs porch waiting for Papa to return home. Once Papa ate dinner, we showed the video from Nikelle’s spring musical he was unable to attend and talked a bit about how he was feeling.
It was a necessary day to experience. Reality quickly flooded in again as the doctors laid out the treatment plan on Wednesday.
Yesterday was another one of those days.
It’s been a month since Jaycie has seen my parents. Every day she asks about “Gaga and Papa”. When she asked yesterday and I told her we were going to their house to visit them, her face lit up with a huge smile. During the drive to Mokena, she asked numerous times for them. Then we pulled into their driveway. “Papa. Gaga. House.” Excitement filled the air.
When my mom opened the door, she was just as excited to see the girls as they were to see her and Papa. “Loud” does not even begin to describe the rest of our visit. Squeal after squeal. Smile after smile. Dominos were spilled all over the wood floor. Imagination turned the Dominos into telephones.
“Papa” just watched from his sofa and smiled. He looked better than he did on Sunday. I told him that. Actually, he looked really good considering. I told him that as well.
More squeals. Coloring. Juice. Playing with the dollhouse. Someone at the door. Great Aunt Harriet came once again and brought dad and mom some blueberry pie. Cousin Richie harvested some more broccoli out of dad’s garden. (It always does dad’s heart good to know people are consuming the food he enjoyed growing. He doesn’t want it to go to waste.)
Singing. Playing the piano. Moving chairs around the room. Medicine.
Oh, yeah. Medicine. Still need to remember all of this in the midst of the moment. Grams went to get Papa’s medicine to warm it up for when it needs to be administered.
J: “Papa meds?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. That’s Papa’s medicine.”
J: “Papa sick?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. Papa’s sick.”
J: (Working at folding her hands) “Better?”
Me: “Right, Jaycie. We ask Jesus to make Papa better.”
Back to playing. Squeal. Upstairs. Downstairs. Looking at Photo Albums. Time to get Nike to Awana. Time to meet Daddy at Grandpa and Grandma Carlson’s for some time with them. Driving away.
Nike thinks aloud, “I wonder if Grams will be outside to wave goodbye.”
My heart sinks as I know this ritual is a highlight for the girls. “Probably not, Nike. It’s cold and Grams needs to take care of Papa.”
We drive around the circle drive and I slow down just to be sure.
I smile as I see Grams come out the door and down the stairs. “Bye.” “Bye.” “Bye.” She yells as she waves her arms.
In the midst of everything, she knows the importance of this ritual to my girls.
“Bye.” “Bye.” The girls wave and squeal as we pull away.
My emotions are tangled. Ecstatic that my girls were able to have such a wonderful time with my parents. Disheartened because they are a little too educated on the battle with cancer. Grateful that my girls know who is in control and I pray.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Need a good laugh?
Nikelle attends a Kindergarten at a Lutheran church down the street from us. This week they are talking about baptism. Naturally, Nikelle has raised some questions. Thankfully, I am aware of what they are discussing this week so I could be prepared to answer her.
"Mommy, have I ever been worshipped?"
I held back my laughter as I said, "No, you have not been BAPTIZED."
The more I think about it, the more I laugh.
"Mommy, have I ever been worshipped?"
I held back my laughter as I said, "No, you have not been BAPTIZED."
The more I think about it, the more I laugh.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Dad Update 11-6-07
Dad is home again. He will see his doctor tomorrow just to talk and possibly see when things will get scheduled next. Seeing as how they don't have any bone marrow tests scheduled, it's unlikely that we'll know too much until the following week.
Dad is much weaker than before he entered the hospital but I visited him on Sunday and he looks much better than I had expected. There is a good slice of his tongue missing but I was still able to understand everything he said. I can't understand what he's going through in any way. I'm just grateful that God continues to provide him with strength and bring him through all these obstacles that keep coming his way.
My prayer right now is that through a miracle, he wouldn't have to go through another round of chemotherapy but just go straight to the stem cell procedure. Even still, I know God is faithful and will carry us through whatever is ahead.
Mom has to go to the Board of Review today for their tax appeal. It seems crazy to me that they have to continue to fight things like this amongst everything else they are dealing with. Still, God's hand is shown as Dad is home so it is easier for mom to do this. I'm praying for peace and a fair outcome in this situation.
Dad is much weaker than before he entered the hospital but I visited him on Sunday and he looks much better than I had expected. There is a good slice of his tongue missing but I was still able to understand everything he said. I can't understand what he's going through in any way. I'm just grateful that God continues to provide him with strength and bring him through all these obstacles that keep coming his way.
My prayer right now is that through a miracle, he wouldn't have to go through another round of chemotherapy but just go straight to the stem cell procedure. Even still, I know God is faithful and will carry us through whatever is ahead.
Mom has to go to the Board of Review today for their tax appeal. It seems crazy to me that they have to continue to fight things like this amongst everything else they are dealing with. Still, God's hand is shown as Dad is home so it is easier for mom to do this. I'm praying for peace and a fair outcome in this situation.
Monday, November 5, 2007
God First?
I've received a couple of good suggestions on fighting my terrible eating habits. Thanks. I'm always open to more. This past weekend would be considered a success in this area. Friday, Saturday and Sunday were fairly controlled when it came to what I placed into my mouth. Even while having some pizza Saturday night. That Halloween candy still remains in bags in the garage for the girls to choose pieces from every now and then. I did steal their Curves granola bars but I don't believe they'll miss those. Those granola bars were a pretty good choice when there is still that full size Hershey's Bar with Almonds in the trick-or-treat bag. One thing I know is that I cannot allow myself to get overly hungry. I lose all control when I reach that point (the Curves bars were to help prevent that state).
Dennis talked about God First when it comes to our giving this Sunday morning. This made me think a lot about my time. Do I offer my time to God first? I believe this is my biggest struggle. I like to blame it on the kids, but it is my own fault. I will watch t.v., eat, spend my time on the computer, jump on the treadmill, or even just veg out. God needs to be first. This morning, I woke up and pulled out my one-year-Bible and read. That's a good start.
It would also be helpful to have God first when I'm eating. Sure, we pray before mealtime when we sit as a family. To be completely honest, when it's just me and the girls, I don't. This could do a lot to change my relationship with food if I would simply give thanks before I place anything into my mouth. After all, he brought the pie, right?
Dennis talked about God First when it comes to our giving this Sunday morning. This made me think a lot about my time. Do I offer my time to God first? I believe this is my biggest struggle. I like to blame it on the kids, but it is my own fault. I will watch t.v., eat, spend my time on the computer, jump on the treadmill, or even just veg out. God needs to be first. This morning, I woke up and pulled out my one-year-Bible and read. That's a good start.
It would also be helpful to have God first when I'm eating. Sure, we pray before mealtime when we sit as a family. To be completely honest, when it's just me and the girls, I don't. This could do a lot to change my relationship with food if I would simply give thanks before I place anything into my mouth. After all, he brought the pie, right?
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