Jaycie turned 3 this past weekend!
JayJay is our little drama queen. I ask her to make a happy face and her eyes will shine as she smiles. Ask her for a sad face and her smile will turn upside down as her eyes look to the floor. How about a surprised face? Her mouth will open in awe as her hands go up by her face and her eyes open wide. An angry face will bring her eyes to narrow and her nose to wrinkle while her lips purse. Of course, all of these requests will only receive a response on her terms. If she doesn't feel like acting, she won't participate. All you will receive is a pout.
She is our strong-willed child. And independent. "I do it myself!" is commonly spoken from her lips. Oftentimes, I can hear her daddy (over her screams) saying "as long as I'm ten times your weight, you will obey me." Despite her little frame, this little girl has some strength to fight us on everything from going potty (where it should go) to what clothes she should wear (summer v. winter - we do know to pick our battles).
Jaycie's smile can light up a room when she wants to. She can be so silly that laughter fills the room. At the same time, she can scream so loudly that our ears hurt. She looks up to her big sister and imitates her in so many aspects. She loves her little sister and can often be found with her nose right up to Ande's talking to her (sometimes scaring her with her lack of respect for personal space).
I never knew how much God could teach me through a child as He has through Jaycie Mariah. I'm learning that all of our characteristics are valuable. They just need to be directed correctly. Strong-will is a good personality. As long as we don't forget about the people around us. We cannot be so stubborn that we forget that people are what matter. It cannot always be "my way or the highway". Being a drama queen gives many options for the future. As long as we don't use our drama to manipulate others. When God gave me Jaycie to raise for Him, He gave me a mirror image of my personality. As I mold my little one with God's help, He is molding me. He also has me talking to Him a lot more!
Happy 3rd Birthday, Jay!
Monday, October 20, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
Spectating
Yesterday we went to Chicago to cheer Rod's sister on in the Marathon. It was a strange feeling all together. Not running it myself. The race cancellation last year and all the baggage that went along with that. My Dad and Rod's Dad both gone from this earth. I attempted to just push all my feelings aside as God decided to work on my heart to appreciate everyone who came to cheer me on last year.
There is a whole lot of waiting and walking for spectators of the Chicago Marathon. Thankfully, I had brought snacks for the girls as well as paper and crayons. We didn't get to the marathon until my sister-in-law was half way through the race so that cut off some of our waiting time. Then there was all that goes along with having a newborn - feeding and diaper changes - it helped make time go by. Still, it's difficult to get into a position where one can actually see their loved one run the race. The finish line was a mess last year that I never was able to experience. This year I attempted to find a place to watch the runners so I could experience it as a spectator. I found it too difficult to attempt with kids unless you really want to make it your goal. You can find a place to watch people but without an obvious sign for the spectator or the runner, it's extremely difficult to find each other.
My mother-in-law was able to spot Rhonda once around mile 13 but Rhonda said she never saw any of us. It was really interesting being on the spectator side this year. Minus the newborn, I probably would have tried a lot harder to find Rhonda or a couple of my Team in Training teammates that I heard were running in memory of my Dad.
To everyone who cheered me on last year, I didn't realize the effort involved. Thank you over and over again. And as for a future marathon, being a spectator just stirred the fire. I want to cross the finish line in Chicago! And I definitely learned I need to wear identifiable colors (like a Team in Training jersey) and my support team cheering me on needs large signs on a pole with big balloons.
Rhonda finished under 5 hours and didn't collapse in the unseasonable heat (although not nearly as hot as last year - she said there was ample water and Gatorade at every station this year.)
Congratulations Rhonda and all the other marathon runners. It is truly an accomplishment!
There is a whole lot of waiting and walking for spectators of the Chicago Marathon. Thankfully, I had brought snacks for the girls as well as paper and crayons. We didn't get to the marathon until my sister-in-law was half way through the race so that cut off some of our waiting time. Then there was all that goes along with having a newborn - feeding and diaper changes - it helped make time go by. Still, it's difficult to get into a position where one can actually see their loved one run the race. The finish line was a mess last year that I never was able to experience. This year I attempted to find a place to watch the runners so I could experience it as a spectator. I found it too difficult to attempt with kids unless you really want to make it your goal. You can find a place to watch people but without an obvious sign for the spectator or the runner, it's extremely difficult to find each other.
My mother-in-law was able to spot Rhonda once around mile 13 but Rhonda said she never saw any of us. It was really interesting being on the spectator side this year. Minus the newborn, I probably would have tried a lot harder to find Rhonda or a couple of my Team in Training teammates that I heard were running in memory of my Dad.
To everyone who cheered me on last year, I didn't realize the effort involved. Thank you over and over again. And as for a future marathon, being a spectator just stirred the fire. I want to cross the finish line in Chicago! And I definitely learned I need to wear identifiable colors (like a Team in Training jersey) and my support team cheering me on needs large signs on a pole with big balloons.
Rhonda finished under 5 hours and didn't collapse in the unseasonable heat (although not nearly as hot as last year - she said there was ample water and Gatorade at every station this year.)
Congratulations Rhonda and all the other marathon runners. It is truly an accomplishment!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Something to think about
The following song lyrics attempted to penetrate my heart a couple weeks ago:
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene
And wonder how he could love me a sinner condemned, unclean.
How marvelous, How wonderful And my song shall ever be
How marvelous, How wonderful is my Savior's love for me
He took my sin and my sorrows and made them his very own
And bore the burden of Calvary and suffered and died alone
The words "and suffered and died alone" made me think. God really can relate to what my Dad and Rod's dad were going through. While we sat with our dads at the end of their lives, Christ had suffered and died alone. It's something to reflect on. Something to think about. Something to remember. In my pain, I cannot forget the pain Christ endured for us. We can know that he didn't create us and leave us. He cares. Even when we don't believe it. He still cares.
"The fact is, God did come. He entered this world in human flesh, and saw and felt for himself what this world is like." -- Philip Yancey, "Where is God When it Hurts?"
I stand amazed in the presence of Jesus the Nazarene
And wonder how he could love me a sinner condemned, unclean.
How marvelous, How wonderful And my song shall ever be
How marvelous, How wonderful is my Savior's love for me
He took my sin and my sorrows and made them his very own
And bore the burden of Calvary and suffered and died alone
The words "and suffered and died alone" made me think. God really can relate to what my Dad and Rod's dad were going through. While we sat with our dads at the end of their lives, Christ had suffered and died alone. It's something to reflect on. Something to think about. Something to remember. In my pain, I cannot forget the pain Christ endured for us. We can know that he didn't create us and leave us. He cares. Even when we don't believe it. He still cares.
"The fact is, God did come. He entered this world in human flesh, and saw and felt for himself what this world is like." -- Philip Yancey, "Where is God When it Hurts?"
Thursday, October 2, 2008
In My Confusion
There's no denying it, it has been a rough time here in my heart and mind these past months. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I've pushed God away. At the same time, I have far from embraced my relationship with Him. Overall, I would say that confusion has mastered this time in my life.
While I have not soaked in the Bible as I had while Dad was enduring his battle with cancer, I still have read Bible verses that have been printed in magazines, posted on blogs, or written in different books I read. I continue to attend church. My identity still lies in being a Child of God.
I have continued to pray in my confusion but find myself pausing and asking myself why I am praying. I pray because that's what I do. That's what God tells us to do. My conversations with God have been quite limited and oftentimes one-sided as I continue to struggle through this period of my life.
There are moments that God is able to penetrate my heart despite my lack of embracing Him and His Word. I continue to read "Where is God When it Hurts?" (Books are a slow read these days.) Here's another glimpse of what Philip Yancey writes in his book:
"The possibility of miraculous healing offers tremendous hope for the Christian. Yet if healing does not come, that dashed hope can be a great impediment to faith that can lead to feelings of betrayal and despair."
While the hope of healing carried me through Dad's battle with cancer, I struggle now. Why did God choose not to answer such an important prayer (in my opinion) at the same time answering such small prayers in comparison to the request of healing my Dad?
"...a hope for healing should be presented realistically. It is just that -- a 'hope', not a guarantee. If it comes, a joyous miracle has happened. If it doesn't come, God has not let you down."
This is what I'm attempting to believe. I know our God has not changed. I know the God I have been taught to love and embrace; the God I have learned loves me so much that He died for me; has not let me down despite my disappointment that a miracle was not performed so I could continue to share life with my Dad. I even know that in His own way, God did heal my dad. There is no more pain and suffering for him. He is whole again and with God for eternity. What greater healing can there be?
While I have not soaked in the Bible as I had while Dad was enduring his battle with cancer, I still have read Bible verses that have been printed in magazines, posted on blogs, or written in different books I read. I continue to attend church. My identity still lies in being a Child of God.
I have continued to pray in my confusion but find myself pausing and asking myself why I am praying. I pray because that's what I do. That's what God tells us to do. My conversations with God have been quite limited and oftentimes one-sided as I continue to struggle through this period of my life.
There are moments that God is able to penetrate my heart despite my lack of embracing Him and His Word. I continue to read "Where is God When it Hurts?" (Books are a slow read these days.) Here's another glimpse of what Philip Yancey writes in his book:
"The possibility of miraculous healing offers tremendous hope for the Christian. Yet if healing does not come, that dashed hope can be a great impediment to faith that can lead to feelings of betrayal and despair."
While the hope of healing carried me through Dad's battle with cancer, I struggle now. Why did God choose not to answer such an important prayer (in my opinion) at the same time answering such small prayers in comparison to the request of healing my Dad?
"...a hope for healing should be presented realistically. It is just that -- a 'hope', not a guarantee. If it comes, a joyous miracle has happened. If it doesn't come, God has not let you down."
This is what I'm attempting to believe. I know our God has not changed. I know the God I have been taught to love and embrace; the God I have learned loves me so much that He died for me; has not let me down despite my disappointment that a miracle was not performed so I could continue to share life with my Dad. I even know that in His own way, God did heal my dad. There is no more pain and suffering for him. He is whole again and with God for eternity. What greater healing can there be?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
A Visit from the Tooth Fairy
"Can I write a note to the tooth fairy?" This was our daughter's request going to bed the other night after losing her first tooth. My husband came downstairs to see how he should respond to her. "Does the tooth fairy take teeth?" he inquired. I informed him that it is customary for the tooth fairy to take the tooth and replace it with money. "She is practically in tears because she doesn't want the tooth fair to take her tooth" he informed me. He comforted our six-year-old by telling her he would leave a note for the tooth fairy.
After remembering to place some money under her pillow, I went to sleep. A few hours later I awoke to her cry. "My tooth is gone!" she sobbed. I looked at her holding the plastic baggy in her hand which held her tooth. Taking her hand and guiding her hand to feel her tooth in the bag, she calmed down a bit. I then reached under her pillow for the money that was there. I placed that in her hand. A smile covered her teary-eyed face as she asked me to stay with her for a little while.
All I can figure is that her fears entered her dreams and convinced her the tooth fairy took her tooth. I told her to dream about losing more teeth so she can get more money. (She wants enough money for a Webkinz.) I don't know how the tooth fairy operates when she visits your home (or if she even comes). In our home, the tooth fairy doesn't leave quite enough money in exchange for one tooth to buy a Webkinz! For that matter, the tooth fairy now doesn't take teeth either. She just leaves money in exchange for a "note".
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