As we walk back from the bus stop, my daughter shuffles through the colorful fallen leaves with her feet. Her face smiles as she watches her feet toss the leaves around her. My thoughts go to wondering why people take time to rake the leaves as I enjoy the colors covering the ground, the sound of the leaves crunching beneath our toes and the smell of fall ever present in the air.
Changing seasons are one reason I enjoy living in the Chicagoland area. We experience Spring, Summer, Winter and Autumn every year. Some seasons are longer than others but they're still there. The rain and blooming of the spring season. The swimming and fun of summertime. The snow and warmth that still accompanies the cold of winter with the holidays. The harvest and barrenness of the plants coming with the Fall Autumn.
I don't enjoy every season equally. My body doesn't do well in the heat so I tend to enjoy the colder months more than the dead heat of summer enjoyed so much by my dad. Still, as each season comes to a close, I seem to be ready for it. Ready to experience the joys of the next. I'm ready to shed our hats and gloves by winter's end. The smell of rain in the Spring brings life alive again as I look forward to the girls being able to run, play and swim outside in the summer. And I'm always done with the heat when the leaves start to change and we anticipate going into somewhat of a hibernation again.
Change is not something I embrace. Yet as I think about the changing seasons, I can't help but wonder if God gives us these to assist us in coping with our seasons of life. Seasons end. New ones begin. We may miss swimming in the pond under the sun but the weather must change to experience the joy of making angels in the snow.
There are many memories with our dads. Some that make me long for seasons past. I must embrace the new season in order to truly experience it though. Longing for seasons that are gone will only bring sadness, grief and frustration. Looking forward to the new seasons allow my heart to beat again. It allows me to find joy in the grief and hope as I know the season of eternity is not far away.
Thank you, Lord, for changing seasons.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
November 6th - Thank You
Rod's grandpa came over from Sweden. My great-grandpa came over from Italy. I also have some German in my family tree. All this being said, Rod likes to tell people that my family started the wars and his stayed out of them. This gives you a pretty good visual of our marriage. Rod is quite content hoping things will blow over while I'm coming head down like a bull ready to fight.
I was always attracted to the athletic, popular type of guy. Rod is proud to be a "geek". He loves computers, history, science fiction and other topics that fall into this category. When I met Rod, dating him was far from being in the radar. He is also 7 years older than me. Since I was 17 when our friendship formed, he wasn't interested in dating me either. To be completely honest, I was expressing interest in one of his friends. Over time, however, Rod became one of my best friends and he captured my heart.
There are moments I am overwhelmed with how undeserving I am to have the husband I do. One example is with the birth of our children. It begins while I'm hugging the ceramic of my toilet bowl for the first trimester, continuing while I sleep most of the day away through all three trimesters, and exemplified throughout labor and delivery. From being yelled at for burning toast because the smell was overwhelming and sickening to me, to enduring my ultimate crabbiness for 9 months, and being my main support in delivering the girls, he displays his love for me through it all.
Rod took off work the day our youngest was born after I informed him that the contractions were ten minutes apart. We took Nikelle to the bus stop and called my mom to come out to stay with Jaycie. Soon after, my contractions stopped. All together, I didn't feel a thing. I was discouraged, confused and irritated because I had really thought we were going to meet our third child that day. With the contractions disappearing, I didn't know what to think.
(Understand that any suggestion my husband makes is like walking on ice for him. I'm often like a volcano ready to erupt and spew my anger on those around me - especially during pregnancy.) Rod took charge and made me walk with him around the neighborhood. That didn't last long as I realized the need to go to the bathroom shortly after the walk started. We decided to run errands instead. We went shopping and walked around only to have the contractions come back very sporadically. After lunch, he suggested we walk the neighborhood again. He knew how much I wanted the pregnancy to be over and what the assistance walking could do in the laboring process.
After this walk, the contractions became stronger although still very inconsistent. We went to my previously scheduled appointment with my midwife knowing the baby would be coming sooner than later. Rod was my shoulder to lean on (literally) throughout labor and delivery. He helped me remember how to breathe when the contractions were intense and I honestly forgot how to do this normally thoughtless task. Rod reminded me about the marathon I ran and the battles our dads endured when labor got tough to remind me that I could persevere. Rod was everything and more during the labor and delivery for each of our kids.
This is just one example of the way God gave me the perfect man for me. We've been through thick and thin. We've been through high highs and low lows. We've shared the birth of our daughters and the death of our fathers. We've shared some sunny days as well as dark. Through it all, he's with me in the deep.
I don't have to doubt the faithfulness of my husband or his love for me. Everything Rod does is based on his desire to live for God. I've joked that I'm not married to Jesus but it's about as close as you can get. So many woman have to go it alone even though they're married. I need to remember every day what a blessing I have in this man I've been married to for 12+ years now.
Thank you, Lord, for my husband. He's so much more than I deserve.
And Rod, I don't know how often you get a chance to read my blog, but thank you. Thank you that through it all, you've stayed by my side. Even when I've been the most unlovable, you've loved me unconditionally. I'm so grateful for you!
I was always attracted to the athletic, popular type of guy. Rod is proud to be a "geek". He loves computers, history, science fiction and other topics that fall into this category. When I met Rod, dating him was far from being in the radar. He is also 7 years older than me. Since I was 17 when our friendship formed, he wasn't interested in dating me either. To be completely honest, I was expressing interest in one of his friends. Over time, however, Rod became one of my best friends and he captured my heart.
There are moments I am overwhelmed with how undeserving I am to have the husband I do. One example is with the birth of our children. It begins while I'm hugging the ceramic of my toilet bowl for the first trimester, continuing while I sleep most of the day away through all three trimesters, and exemplified throughout labor and delivery. From being yelled at for burning toast because the smell was overwhelming and sickening to me, to enduring my ultimate crabbiness for 9 months, and being my main support in delivering the girls, he displays his love for me through it all.
Rod took off work the day our youngest was born after I informed him that the contractions were ten minutes apart. We took Nikelle to the bus stop and called my mom to come out to stay with Jaycie. Soon after, my contractions stopped. All together, I didn't feel a thing. I was discouraged, confused and irritated because I had really thought we were going to meet our third child that day. With the contractions disappearing, I didn't know what to think.
(Understand that any suggestion my husband makes is like walking on ice for him. I'm often like a volcano ready to erupt and spew my anger on those around me - especially during pregnancy.) Rod took charge and made me walk with him around the neighborhood. That didn't last long as I realized the need to go to the bathroom shortly after the walk started. We decided to run errands instead. We went shopping and walked around only to have the contractions come back very sporadically. After lunch, he suggested we walk the neighborhood again. He knew how much I wanted the pregnancy to be over and what the assistance walking could do in the laboring process.
After this walk, the contractions became stronger although still very inconsistent. We went to my previously scheduled appointment with my midwife knowing the baby would be coming sooner than later. Rod was my shoulder to lean on (literally) throughout labor and delivery. He helped me remember how to breathe when the contractions were intense and I honestly forgot how to do this normally thoughtless task. Rod reminded me about the marathon I ran and the battles our dads endured when labor got tough to remind me that I could persevere. Rod was everything and more during the labor and delivery for each of our kids.
This is just one example of the way God gave me the perfect man for me. We've been through thick and thin. We've been through high highs and low lows. We've shared the birth of our daughters and the death of our fathers. We've shared some sunny days as well as dark. Through it all, he's with me in the deep.
I don't have to doubt the faithfulness of my husband or his love for me. Everything Rod does is based on his desire to live for God. I've joked that I'm not married to Jesus but it's about as close as you can get. So many woman have to go it alone even though they're married. I need to remember every day what a blessing I have in this man I've been married to for 12+ years now.
Thank you, Lord, for my husband. He's so much more than I deserve.
And Rod, I don't know how often you get a chance to read my blog, but thank you. Thank you that through it all, you've stayed by my side. Even when I've been the most unlovable, you've loved me unconditionally. I'm so grateful for you!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
November 5 - Thank You
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." - 1 Peter 5:7
This is one of my daughter's memory verses this week for AWANA. Even at her young age, Nikelle is learning that she can talk directly to God.
There are many nights that Nikelle will wake her daddy because she is having nightmares. My husband will take her back to her bed and pray with her.
The other night, I happened to already be awake after feeding the baby when I saw Nikelle walk into our room. I got out of bed and at her request, climbed into bed with her. After a while, I decided to go back to my own room where I could sleep more soundly. Kissing her head, I told her to dream about the play she wanted to do with her friends.
Thinking I heard her talking to me, I stopped at the doorway of her room. I listened as I heared her voice. "Dear Jesus, please help me to not have anymore nightmares. Help me to dream about the play with Valerie and Page. Amen."
My heart swelled as I smiled and walked back to my bed. Although I had forgotten to pray with her, she was already learning the comfort that can be found at the feet of Jesus.
Prayer carries me through most days. It pulled me through our dads' battles with cancer; the pregnancies, labors, deliveries of all three of our girls; each and every race I've run; it's given me strength through trials and someone to share every joy of life with.
We have the privilege to pray for our family, friends, country and world.
"Thank you, Lord, for a direct line of communication with you. I love that we can lift our sorrows, joys, fears, worries, tears and requests directly to the Creator of the Universe!"
This is one of my daughter's memory verses this week for AWANA. Even at her young age, Nikelle is learning that she can talk directly to God.
There are many nights that Nikelle will wake her daddy because she is having nightmares. My husband will take her back to her bed and pray with her.
The other night, I happened to already be awake after feeding the baby when I saw Nikelle walk into our room. I got out of bed and at her request, climbed into bed with her. After a while, I decided to go back to my own room where I could sleep more soundly. Kissing her head, I told her to dream about the play she wanted to do with her friends.
Thinking I heard her talking to me, I stopped at the doorway of her room. I listened as I heared her voice. "Dear Jesus, please help me to not have anymore nightmares. Help me to dream about the play with Valerie and Page. Amen."
My heart swelled as I smiled and walked back to my bed. Although I had forgotten to pray with her, she was already learning the comfort that can be found at the feet of Jesus.
Prayer carries me through most days. It pulled me through our dads' battles with cancer; the pregnancies, labors, deliveries of all three of our girls; each and every race I've run; it's given me strength through trials and someone to share every joy of life with.
We have the privilege to pray for our family, friends, country and world.
"Thank you, Lord, for a direct line of communication with you. I love that we can lift our sorrows, joys, fears, worries, tears and requests directly to the Creator of the Universe!"
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
November 4 - Election Day - Thank You
Thank you, Lord, for the United States of America. We live in a country where we have freedom. Freedom to worship you, freedom to disagree, freedom to have a voice as we vote. Thank you for allowing us to live in a nation where we are free.
Today we vote.
My six-year-old's school is doing a mock election today. The kids wore red, white and blue yesterday and brought signs and buttons to support their candidate of choice.
I wanted to inform my first grader of the facts and allow her to choose. What I found is that it's difficult to present both sides without some sort of bias. We all stand for something and when we do, that's what we present.
First and foremost, I had to talk to her about the right to life. I explained to her that some people think it's okay to stop a baby from growing in their mommy's tummy. I explained that they don't believe it's a baby. They want to call it a fetus. Then there are people who believe that the baby should be allowed to grow so it can be born into the world. She then asked me which candidate believed which and I answered her.
Just from these statements, it's obvious where I stand. Although I wanted her to choose who she would vote for on her own, it's okay that I presented her with a biased opinion. Not only am I her mom, but it's part of our freedom. I believe strongly enough on this issue to say I will vote for those who protect the unborn. I want my daughter to vote that way when she is older as well. God created that baby in the womb and His desire is for that baby to get to full term and enter this world. (Psalm 139) Who are we to stop that?
I did go on to talk to her about a few other issues but they were biased as well. As for the topic of single issue voting, Erik's blog had a great post that I would echo. I'm a priority voter and have no shame in stating it.
Freedom is a wonderful thing we take too often for granted. I attempted to stress to Nikelle the value of this gift and the importance of others being able to express this freedom as well. Who knows if friendships could be ruined in first grade over the choice of presidential candidates even before they're of legal age to vote!
Today we vote.
My six-year-old's school is doing a mock election today. The kids wore red, white and blue yesterday and brought signs and buttons to support their candidate of choice.
I wanted to inform my first grader of the facts and allow her to choose. What I found is that it's difficult to present both sides without some sort of bias. We all stand for something and when we do, that's what we present.
First and foremost, I had to talk to her about the right to life. I explained to her that some people think it's okay to stop a baby from growing in their mommy's tummy. I explained that they don't believe it's a baby. They want to call it a fetus. Then there are people who believe that the baby should be allowed to grow so it can be born into the world. She then asked me which candidate believed which and I answered her.
Just from these statements, it's obvious where I stand. Although I wanted her to choose who she would vote for on her own, it's okay that I presented her with a biased opinion. Not only am I her mom, but it's part of our freedom. I believe strongly enough on this issue to say I will vote for those who protect the unborn. I want my daughter to vote that way when she is older as well. God created that baby in the womb and His desire is for that baby to get to full term and enter this world. (Psalm 139) Who are we to stop that?
I did go on to talk to her about a few other issues but they were biased as well. As for the topic of single issue voting, Erik's blog had a great post that I would echo. I'm a priority voter and have no shame in stating it.
Freedom is a wonderful thing we take too often for granted. I attempted to stress to Nikelle the value of this gift and the importance of others being able to express this freedom as well. Who knows if friendships could be ruined in first grade over the choice of presidential candidates even before they're of legal age to vote!
A month of Thankfulness
I tend to be an "all or nothing" kind of person. It's not exactly beneficial in my life. For example, if I don't eat right at one meal, I blow the entire day. After all, it has to be "all or nothing" in my world. This is an area I need to change in so many aspects of my life.
I had been tossing around posting one thing I am thankful for each and every day of November. I thought it would help me to quit all the grumbling I so easily succomb to and there is always so much to be grateful for that it shouldn't be a difficult task. Not to mention November is the month of Thanksgiving so it fits a theme. Here's the all or nothing: today is November 4th. Obviously, this is my first post. So, for the three days I missed...
1. Nikelle
2. Jaycie
3. Ande
I generally express gratitude for my girls and their good health. Still, there are times where it really overwhelms me and I want to be certain I do not take it for granted. After the video our Pastor played on Sunday , it hit me more than it does on normal days. After watching our dads die of cancer, I'm more aware of those around me fighting the disease. I'm hit with the greatness of the gift of good health especially when we see little kids battling such diseases. After taking the two youngest girls to the doctor yesterday for their check-ups, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for my girls' good health. It's not something I want to take for granted.
Thank you, Lord, for the three healthy, beautiful little girls you've loaned me for a time.
I had been tossing around posting one thing I am thankful for each and every day of November. I thought it would help me to quit all the grumbling I so easily succomb to and there is always so much to be grateful for that it shouldn't be a difficult task. Not to mention November is the month of Thanksgiving so it fits a theme. Here's the all or nothing: today is November 4th. Obviously, this is my first post. So, for the three days I missed...
1. Nikelle
2. Jaycie
3. Ande
I generally express gratitude for my girls and their good health. Still, there are times where it really overwhelms me and I want to be certain I do not take it for granted. After the video our Pastor played on Sunday , it hit me more than it does on normal days. After watching our dads die of cancer, I'm more aware of those around me fighting the disease. I'm hit with the greatness of the gift of good health especially when we see little kids battling such diseases. After taking the two youngest girls to the doctor yesterday for their check-ups, I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for my girls' good health. It's not something I want to take for granted.
Thank you, Lord, for the three healthy, beautiful little girls you've loaned me for a time.
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