Reckless Words

I went to sign my 3-year-old up for preschool today. After registration, some conversation started about our bus experiences for our first graders. (A few of the moms have children that ride on Nikelle's bus.) Unavoidably, conversation came up about the days when the bus has been 40 minutes late or longer. It can be quiet frustrating and a bit scary when your child is left in someone else's care and you don't know what has happened.

One of the moms said her daughter went home crying the other day that Nikelle almost got hit by a car. "What?" I questioned. "Emma came home crying and said that Nikelle was almost hit by a car," the other mom advised. I assured her that was not the case. The bus drops Nikelle off at the intersection. Either I am there to greet her or she is escorted across the street by the bus monitor.

There are times when people are driving on the opposite street and do not stop. The bus driver often honks the horn on these occasions and that could have confused her daughter. I told her it was nice that her daughter was concerned for my daughter, however.

When we turned to leave, the bus driver was coming in. Interesting, I thought. I was going to say hello but she didn't make eye contact. I figured I'd ask her when she dropped Nikelle off who she was signing up for preschool.

This afternoon as Nikelle got off the bus, I was about to inquire of the bus driver about preschool when she followed my daughter off the bus. She proceeded to ask me about a rumor being spread about Nikelle almost getting hit by a car. Her husband had overheard the conversation and informed her of it.

Thankfully, I was able to honestly inform her of the conversation. I was able to tell her that we were actually talking more about the days she is not there and the concern that comes with it. We think she is a wonderful bus driver. (I could have even gone further to tell her that we said we are thankful she errs on the side of being too cautious, but didn't.)

As I walked away with Nikelle I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. How many times do we talk about someone and we're grateful they can't hear? It was such a relief to know that there was nothing I had to hide from the conversation. I could honestly tell her that we thought she was great.

Just a strong reminder to watch our words. I just read Proverbs 12:18 this morning which reads, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." How applicable to be sure I am not reckless with my words.

Longing for Quiet

"Mommy, I want some candy!"
"Mommy, I need to go potty!"
"Mommy, I not want to watch this movie!"
"Mommy, I really, really want to go outside!"
"Mommy, I not want this lunch!"
"Mommy, I don't want to take a nap!"
"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

My 3-year-old has been whining incessantly! I could take the high road. That would sound something like, "I am blessed to have the privilege to have a little girl to request things of me. There are many people out there longing for children who can't have any." Instead, I'm reminded me of the Grinch irritated with the the Whos in Whoville with all that "Noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!"

This whining has me irritated and exhausted. I'm frazzled and can't think straight. Lately, all I've been longing for is some quiet. Not just five minutes here or five minutes there. I want a good long time of quiet.

I've taken the easy way out one too many times with my middle child. Rather than hear her whine as she requests candy ten times in ten minutes before breakfast, I take on the attitude of "just take the chocolate and leave me alone already!" Yep. I've definitely contributed to this whiney behavior.

So, I've decided it's time to quit giving in. It will only be worse later if we don't get a handle on it now. Now when I hear, "Mommmmmmyyyy, I wannnnt sommmme cannnndyyy," in that sing-songy whine, I do my best to calmly respond.

"First, you have to eat some breakfast."
"But I diiid eat some breakfast!"
"You'll have to eat more than one bite."
"But I diiiid!"
"You are not having candy now."

And the whining continues... as I walk away.

I haven't give in today (yet). I've remained stern. Which brings me to our most recent encounter.

"Mommmmy, I want to have this toothpaste."
"No. You just brushed your teet."
"But I realllly wannt this toooooothpaste!" (The volume is rising quickly.)
"You may not have more toothpaste now. I'll tell you what..."

The screaming doesn't even allow me to continue. I walk over, take the toothpaste out of her hand and send her to bed. She climbs into bed screaming and throwing a tantrum. I do my best to talk calmly over her high-pitched screeching. "You may come downstairs when you are ready to say, 'Yes, Mommy. I will not scream and whine anymore." I left her room and went downstairs.

A few moments later, I realized the house was actually quite quiet. I quietly walked upstairs to check on her only to find her cuddled in her blankets on her bed sound asleep.

Peace. (Not to mention victory for me... on this battle.) It made me think of some advice my mom once gave.

"If she's crabby, give her something to eat or put her to bed."

It's good parenting advice...

even though it was advice she gave Rod about me.

How am I living?

I'm currently reading the Book of Proverbs. Our Pastor has always suggested that if you don't have a current reading plan, Proverbs is a good book to go with. 31 chapters. 31 days in a month. I decided this was a good plan to go with for January as I am attempting to spend at least 5 minutes a day with God. (It's gone well so far.)

Today is January 6 so I'm reading chapter 6. Proverbs 6:21-23 says, "Keep your father's commands and do not forsake your mother's teaching. Bind them upon your heart forever; fasten them around your neck. When you walk, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; when you awake, they will speak to you. For these commands are a lamp, this teaching is a light, and the corrections of discipline are the way to life."

I've always read these verses reflecting on my parents' instructions to me. Today I read it in a different light. I don't know why it wasn't until today that I read these from the eyes of a parent (as I've been one now for over 6 years) instead of a child but it is (maybe I'm just officially old).

So, I had to ask myself, "Am I living and teaching in a way that is worth binding upon my child's heart forever? Worthy of fastening around their necks? Should my teaching guide them when they walk? Watch over them? Speak to them? A lamp? A light? How am I living?" I know there is plenty of room for improvement. My example, to begin with, can afford a lot of changing. I wouldn't want them to mirror most of my behaviors.

Once again, I am pressed with the importance of spending time reading my Bible and being in prayer. Without God in my life, there simply is no reason for them to respect my teaching. The only reason what I teach would be worthy of anything in this passage is if I am giving them the Word of God.

Yesterday, I'm pretty certain that I heard my daughter use the words, "Oh my God". I am hypersensitive to this one. At the same time, I know how easy it is to repeat words we continually hear all the time. I'm certain she hears this one a lot just about everywhere she turns. As I questioned her on what she said, I could sense she felt she was in trouble. I assured her she wasn't in trouble. I just wanted her to understand the value behind God's name. The respect and reverance we are supposed to have in using His name and I enforced this with the commandment "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name." It truly is a relief in parenting to know your instructions are coming from the Creator. There's no arguing. Not my rule. It's His. Yep, feels pretty good.

Find us Faithful

For Christmas, my mom invested in our marriages. She gifted each of us with a gift certificate to a FamilyLife Marriage Conference. She put a lot of thought into the gift. With it, she read to us a letter from herself. She talked about a date night she had with Dad during their marriage. It was a Steve Green concert. The note to us was personal and cherished so I won't share all that she wrote. At my sister's request, she, mom and I gathered around the piano to sing some Steve Green songs. (My mom and sister can play. I was a piano lesson drop out.)

Dad and Mom sung "Household of Faith" by Steve Green at my wedding and they sang "Children are a Treasure from the Lord" at Traci's so we didn't sing either of those do to the emotional impact they likely would have had. Still, we sang a few others. When we got to "Find us Faithful", it broke me up inside. We had used some of these lyrics at Dad's services. They're good inspiration for our lives. Here they are:

We're pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift though all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover and the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them to the road we each must find

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

I look forward to the marriage conference. It is a gift for us to leave footprints worthy of following.

Here's to a more intentional 2009!

I tend to get overwhelmed when I think of "New Year's Resolutions". There is a huge list of things I need to improve on. Everywhere I turn I am listening to advice of things I should be doing to improve my well being. All of these things are good. They are helpful. They are worth pursuing. Still, when I get overwhelmed, I don't want to do anything. I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep. That is where I find the most peace. I've said it before and I have yet to stop believing it, there is something wonderful about laying my head on a pillow, snuggling under a blanket and closing my eyes.

I need to spend more time reading my Bible and praying. This is the most important. Without time with God, my life becomes meaningless.

I need to focus on developing a healthier lifestyle. The thing is that I enjoy food of all kinds. This is a continual struggle for me. I was doing very well with changing my eating habits until the holidays and sickness hit us. Now I have to start all over again. Developing a healthier lifestyle also includes exercise. I have yet to find a way to incorporate exercise into this new chapter of life we have entered with three kids.

I spent the other morning writing down 10 things to improve on in this new year. I don't know if I'll accomplish all of them continually but I attempted to make reasonable goals.

I'm setting the goal of spending 5 minutes with God each day. It may seem like minimal time, but my goal is to set goals that I can complete. I can always dedicate more time later but hopefully 5 minutes a day will help me reform the habit of time alone with Him daily.

I want to eat 3 fruits and/or vegetables every day. Ideally, I'd eat 5. Eating 3 gives me one with each meal. I figure setting the bar low will help me feel like I've accomplished a goal rather than being overwhelmed and chucking my goal.

I'm setting the goal to do one thing each day to display love to my husband. May sound like a silly goal to some but I find that it's easy to go through my day overlooking him and pushing my marriage to the side if I'm not intentional.

I want to implement the Bible into our daily life. To begin with, Nikelle memorizes a verse for AWANA each week. I think we will start to use this verse weekly for our family to focus on.

I want to be more intentional about praying at meals. I know I've mentioned this previously on my blog. I'm not good at thanking God this way. I'm looking into using form prayers at lunchtime to set an example of thankfulness at meals for my girls.

I want to scrapbook at least once a month. I'd love to do more than this but hopefully this goal will take me out of the pit I have fallen into with this hobby.

I've set a certain amount of money to save each month. We teach Nikelle the 10/10/80 plan with the money she receives. (10-giving/10-savings/80-spending) Still, we have a difficult time living this out.

I want to clean part of the house each day. May sound strange, but I can easily go without cleaning the house for days. It's not a priority and than it becomes overwhelming and before I know it, I'm living in a pit where I don't want any company.

I want to do some form of exercise just for 10 minutes, 3 times/week. Stretching counts. I also have the goal to run a 5K this summer. Not a marathon. That's unrealistic. A 5K on the other hand is quite doable.

I have also set a broader goal of simply watching less television and reading more and listening to music more. This in turn, will help me listen more to God.

I'm attempting to choose things that help me with my purpose in life. I want to be intentional in everything I do.

I'm not setting New Year's Resolutions. I am setting goals. I want to strive daily to improve my life. To be a better wife, mom and friend. To do this, I must spend time with the One who fills my soul and can give me what I need to live a more purposeful life. Everything else should follow.

Hopefully setting these goals will make for a more intentional 2009!

"If you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God." ~ Proverbs 2:1-5