Sluggish Cravings and Diligent Desires

"The sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the desires of the diligent are fully satisfied." - Proverbs 13:4

I have so many days where I feel sluggish. Maybe it's because I have three kids. Truly, I believe that much of this is connected to what I eat.

And the cravings. Oh, the cravings. So often, what I crave is not what I am truly looking for. I just keep eating and eating thinking I'm craving something and yet I'm never satisfied.

This verse reminds me that when I'm reaching for food out of boredom, I must stop and change direction. I need to be diligent and get something accomplished instead. Much of the time I am eating for some emotional need, out of boredom, when I really just need to sleep or because I've formed a bad habit.

I'm attempting to ask myself why I am reaching for food and then finding something more productive to do with my time. It's much more satisfying!

God sees my lack of discipline

"For a man's ways are in full view of the LORD, and He examines all his paths. The evil deeds of a wicked man ensnare him; the cords of his sin hold him fast. He will die for lack of discipline, led astray by his own great folly." - Proverbs 5:21-23

It seems like any time we have some sort of treat in the house, I wait until I'm all alone and "sneak" some of it. When no one is looking, I'll walk over to the fridge or pantry and quickly eat it thinking no one sees. My husband has actually commented that I have a "guilty" look on my face at different moments due to this. In reading this verse, I'm reminded that despite what I think I may be "sneaking", God still sees all that I do. Remembering this might just help me the next time I hear the chocolate calling from the pantry while the girls are being put to bed by their daddy.

Many people talk about losing weight for their health. We hear how they want to lose weight so they can be around to see their childs' weddings or meet their grandchildren. This verse tells me I will die for lack of discipline.

It's my own fault. I can't blame my eating habits on the fact that, while vacationing, my dad used to have us eat a big breakfast and then wait to eat again until dinner. I can't use the excuse that my mom medicated me with Fudgesicles after a bicycle accident. I can't blame it on the fact that I was raised going to smorgasbords which taught me to stuff as much in as possible in one sitting. I've tried to blame everyone and everything. I can give an excuse every time. Truth is, I choose to overeat. I choose the path of gluttony. I choose not to be disciplined. I am led astray by my own great folly. It's time for a change. I need to quit with the excuses.

God sees me...even when I try to quick shove that miniature candy bar into my mouth by the side of the fridge and then hide the wrapper in the garbage. Yes, I've had three kids. Yes, my dad and my father-in-law both died of cancer. That doesn't give me a reason to medicate myself with food. It's time for some discipline. It's time for some change.

The Book of Proverbs and My Friend, Food

The Bible has so much to say about changing my relationship with food. In particular, I thought I'd share some verses over the next few days that stood out to me while reading from the Book of Proverbs last month.

If you want to read the Bible but really just don't have any idea where to start, I highly recommend this reading plan. One chapter of Proverbs each day of the month. It was such a great month in terms of hearing God's voice and seeing specific applications for my life.

God has so much to say to us about our lives. We often hear insight from other people or share our own "wisdom" and think we just found out something wonderful. Truth is, God's probably said it first and we just don't know where exactly to pinpoint it in His Word. If you struggle with food, I hope these verses help you. They've been a huge help to me (although it is still a struggle for me every moment).

Tomorrow, the first verse from Proverbs that made an impression on me about my friend, food...

Life goes on

It feels like so much has happened in life since last February. It's almost a blur. It seems so surreal still.

Tonight we went to my mom's for dinner. I took Jaycie to the bathroom at one point and there was a ceramic Easter basket on the counter. I had already walked by it a couple of times and didn't think anything about it. Until Jaycie asked about it, that is. "What is that?" she inquired. "That's an Easter basket," I told her. "We bought it for Papa and put hugs & kisses in it for him."

Walking back upstairs, I felt myself choke up. Little things can bring tears. After his initial bouts of chemo, the decision was made not to have close contact with him when his blood counts were low in order to protect him from infection. Now it's just a little memory of something we did for him. Nikelle and I would bring hugs & kisses and place them in the Easter basket each time we visited rather than give him actual hugs & kisses.

I've been thinking about my dad a lot lately. For me, it's a strange reality every day. That he never met Andelise... that life still goes on... that it's almost been a year and he has not been a part of so many memories...that we're learning to cope...that it still hurts so much...that it gets a little easier each day...that there are days where grief still overwhelms...I'm sure we'll always miss him...some days more than others.

More weird dreams

A couple of nights ago I had another dream. This time, I informed Rod that I heard a noise in the van in the garage. He went to check on it. When he opened the trunk, a guy came out swinging a huge log splitter (axe/sledgehammer type of combination) at him. Rod swung something back at them and they fought for awhile. In my dream, the guy actually hit Rod with this thing and Rod fell to the ground. At this point, I thought the guy was coming towards the garage door which leads into the house. I looked at the girls and went to close the door and lock it. Instead, the guy reached for the garbage can so he could use the garbage bag for Rod. At this point I woke up.

Last night, I woke up on the sofa after falling asleep in front of Monk. I was dreaming that Michelle Obama and I were friends. (We had just seen some desserts on the television that I said I'd take both of. Rod informed me that it was one of Michelle Obama's favorite restaurants.)

Conclusion: falling asleep in front of the T.V. leads to some weird dreams.