"Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed." - Mark 1:35
I woke up around 5 this morning. On a typical morning, I won't awaken until closer to 6 and it is often due to a call from one of my girls. This morning, however, I woke up and felt as though I could actually function if I began my day. I found myself a place on the bathroom floor with the fan running to block out any noise and opened my journal and my Bible. I always feel more refreshed and better able to face the day when my morning starts out in some time with God.
I chose to read Mark 1 because Rod is leading a Bible study in our home tonight on the Book of Mark. This verse struck me once again. It's interesting because I will often justify why I don't have the time to spend with God to start my day. If it's not the girls demanding my attention immediately or the "to do" list spinning around in my mind, it's the dog, my husband, Weight Watchers or something else that requires immediate attention. I feel like I cannot fit God into my day. Jesus, on the other hand, God himself, got up early in the morning to spend time with God the Father in prayer prior to starting His day. Do I think I am better the God's Son?
Jill Savage, founder of Hearts at Home, and the author of one of my current book reads, "Real Moms...Real Jesus", had something worthy to say on this topic. She said that it's my pride that keeps Jesus out of my day. I feel I can get through the day just fine without Him. It doesn't matter that self-control comes much easier on the days I take time out with Him. It doesn't matter that it's been proven over and over again that I am able to handle much better what comes my way when I start my day with Him. So many times I feel I can justify a few more moments of sleep rather than use those few moments to help focus my day correctly. This really struck a heart cord. I am a proud person. I don't ask for help too often. I have no self-control. I beat myself up for not being able to overcome temptation. I find myself in a pool of guilt over the way I blow up at my kids and my husband. Yet I'm too proud to confess my sins, accept God's help and move forward.
Today is different.
"Lord, thank you for the example of starting the day in prayer yourself. Too often I think I can conquer today without you. Please forgive me. Help me to turn to you with each trial that comes my way. Give me the strength to exercise self-control when it comes to food and my temper. Help me to be a mom that reflects you to her husband and kids. Thank you for the energy to start my day with you. Amen."
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Little Bear brings back Memories
It's a rare occasion that I just sit with my girls. Yesterday, I accepted Jaycie's request to just sit and hold her. We watched an episode of "Little Bear". In this episode, Little Bear helps Father Bear in the yard. Little Bear helps by watering Father Bear's garden. The water would not come out of the hose at first which, he was informed by his snake friend, was due to a kink. Little Bear looks into the hose as he shakes it and as the kink comes loose, spraying Little Bear in the face. Little Bear and his friend snake laugh and enjoy the fun. Little Bear then decides to step on the hose and tell Father Bear that the water won't come out of the hose. Father Bear looks into the hose and ponders when Little Bear takes his foot off of the hose and sprays Father Bear in the face. They laugh and play and have fun.
All of this brought back memories of my dad. Dad loved to garden and it was hard work. Growing up as a kid, I didn't appreciate the value of everything involved in this process. I just knew that we didn't sleep in too often as it was important to get out before the heat of the day to get the gardening done. There was weeding, watering, spraying, more weeding, watering, spraying and harvesting. On many occasions, dad would award our hard work with a trip to the Plush Horse Ice Cream Parlor or a day at the zoo or Great America or something else that inspired us to work hard.
On memory in particular, I recall a similar occasion as Little Bear and Father Bear. I must have been the one watering the garden as dad planted or weeded. In my wisdom, I realized that I could spray dad with the hose and run away before he could get back at me. Needless to say, I didn't plan it out all that well. I sprayed him and ran. Dad ran after me and I thought I had gotten off scot-free. That is until he undid the connections between the hoses that reached to the garden and held it over my head as the water poured all over me. We laughed, soaked, and enjoyed a memory that I can cherish today.
It's the simple things that seem to come to my mind like that. Small things that I cherish. A moment when my dad stepped away from the work to have a little fun with his daughter. I pray that I can take time out from the daily grind to give memories to my girls that they will cherish after I am gone.
All of this brought back memories of my dad. Dad loved to garden and it was hard work. Growing up as a kid, I didn't appreciate the value of everything involved in this process. I just knew that we didn't sleep in too often as it was important to get out before the heat of the day to get the gardening done. There was weeding, watering, spraying, more weeding, watering, spraying and harvesting. On many occasions, dad would award our hard work with a trip to the Plush Horse Ice Cream Parlor or a day at the zoo or Great America or something else that inspired us to work hard.
On memory in particular, I recall a similar occasion as Little Bear and Father Bear. I must have been the one watering the garden as dad planted or weeded. In my wisdom, I realized that I could spray dad with the hose and run away before he could get back at me. Needless to say, I didn't plan it out all that well. I sprayed him and ran. Dad ran after me and I thought I had gotten off scot-free. That is until he undid the connections between the hoses that reached to the garden and held it over my head as the water poured all over me. We laughed, soaked, and enjoyed a memory that I can cherish today.
It's the simple things that seem to come to my mind like that. Small things that I cherish. A moment when my dad stepped away from the work to have a little fun with his daughter. I pray that I can take time out from the daily grind to give memories to my girls that they will cherish after I am gone.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Not Enough and More than Enough
I put up all these posts about verses that God's brought to my attention that relate to my addiction to food. From my blog, it sounds as though I'm really getting the hang of implementing some life change. If only it were so.
This weekend was absolutely insane! Honestly, last week as a whole was quite hectic. I thought I had it fairly together until Jaycie came down with a cold. I did not allow any time for illness in our house. Thankfully, it was really just a runny nose. I simply exposed everyone else to all of her germs. We just kept plugging along with our busy schedule.
Amongst this busy schedule was a lot of food... not enough sleep... many temptations for the sweet tooth... and very little time to breathe. Needless to say, all of this left me back in my old ways (maybe not old, probably more like not as frequent).
Here's the thing. Life change requires time and energy. It requires some planning and a lot of focus. This weekend was lacking on time, energy, planning and focus. I ate and ate and ate some more.
My scale shot up to an ugly number that at Christmas time kept me continuing on my eating frenzy. This morning I decided to take some steps so that didn't happen again. I sent the Fannie May Pixies I bought for Rod with him to work. I explained that I have an addiction and if they remain in this house while he is at work, there will simply be no more left when he returns.
He had presented me with some Take Five miniature candy bars on Valentine's Day. Thankfully, he only gave me three. The rest of the bag are hidden somewhere where he will gradually ration to me over time. (I can taste them just thinking about them...)
The house is a mess and I have a long way to go before I catch up with life. Still, I knew it was of the utmost importance that I stop and take some time to refocus, refuel and revamp. I now feel like I'm back on track with a plan, some energy, time and focus.
I'm learning every day and although this past weekend did not mirror anything I've been attempting to convey, I have a new beginning. I'm accepting the grace and moving forward again.
Thank you, God, for a fresh start every morning!
This weekend was absolutely insane! Honestly, last week as a whole was quite hectic. I thought I had it fairly together until Jaycie came down with a cold. I did not allow any time for illness in our house. Thankfully, it was really just a runny nose. I simply exposed everyone else to all of her germs. We just kept plugging along with our busy schedule.
Amongst this busy schedule was a lot of food... not enough sleep... many temptations for the sweet tooth... and very little time to breathe. Needless to say, all of this left me back in my old ways (maybe not old, probably more like not as frequent).
Here's the thing. Life change requires time and energy. It requires some planning and a lot of focus. This weekend was lacking on time, energy, planning and focus. I ate and ate and ate some more.
My scale shot up to an ugly number that at Christmas time kept me continuing on my eating frenzy. This morning I decided to take some steps so that didn't happen again. I sent the Fannie May Pixies I bought for Rod with him to work. I explained that I have an addiction and if they remain in this house while he is at work, there will simply be no more left when he returns.
He had presented me with some Take Five miniature candy bars on Valentine's Day. Thankfully, he only gave me three. The rest of the bag are hidden somewhere where he will gradually ration to me over time. (I can taste them just thinking about them...)
The house is a mess and I have a long way to go before I catch up with life. Still, I knew it was of the utmost importance that I stop and take some time to refocus, refuel and revamp. I now feel like I'm back on track with a plan, some energy, time and focus.
I'm learning every day and although this past weekend did not mirror anything I've been attempting to convey, I have a new beginning. I'm accepting the grace and moving forward again.
Thank you, God, for a fresh start every morning!
Saturday, February 14, 2009
"If you find honey, eat just enough— too much of it, and you will vomit." - 25:16
Twice since the baby was born, I've gotten quite sick. The problem was that I could not identify if I had the flu or if I was sick simply because I had overeaten (this is a kind word for my binges) the night before. It's pretty sad if I'm attempting to determine between results of a binge v. the stomach flu.
Sometimes the Bible puts it so plainly we overlook it. Sounds like common sense, doesn't it? If you eat too much sweets, it will make you sick. We even tell this to our kids. When there is an addiction involved, we often don't use common sense.
It is truly time for change. I don't anticipate I'll be perfect when it comes to changing my eating habits. Small steps will get me there. I will fall down and have to get up. There will be setbacks and I will have to start over again. Still, I'm ready to start obeying and changing. As a Christ-follower, that's what I'm called to do.
Twice since the baby was born, I've gotten quite sick. The problem was that I could not identify if I had the flu or if I was sick simply because I had overeaten (this is a kind word for my binges) the night before. It's pretty sad if I'm attempting to determine between results of a binge v. the stomach flu.
Sometimes the Bible puts it so plainly we overlook it. Sounds like common sense, doesn't it? If you eat too much sweets, it will make you sick. We even tell this to our kids. When there is an addiction involved, we often don't use common sense.
It is truly time for change. I don't anticipate I'll be perfect when it comes to changing my eating habits. Small steps will get me there. I will fall down and have to get up. There will be setbacks and I will have to start over again. Still, I'm ready to start obeying and changing. As a Christ-follower, that's what I'm called to do.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Faltering strength
"If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength!" - 24:10
This verse may seem kind of obvious. Still, it gave me something to think about. I like to think of myself as a strong person. This verse tells me that I'm not. I've been blaming my eating habits on dad's cancer, followed by his death, combined with the pregnancy... Just because times are tough, it doesn't give me an excuse to gorge myself on food. Maybe I should quit thinking so highly of myself. Reality is that I have weaknesses just like everyone else. It's time for some change.
This verse may seem kind of obvious. Still, it gave me something to think about. I like to think of myself as a strong person. This verse tells me that I'm not. I've been blaming my eating habits on dad's cancer, followed by his death, combined with the pregnancy... Just because times are tough, it doesn't give me an excuse to gorge myself on food. Maybe I should quit thinking so highly of myself. Reality is that I have weaknesses just like everyone else. It's time for some change.
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