Fat Tuesday. Ash Wednesday. Lent. Growing up, I had no idea what these words meant. I didn’t understand why my friends didn’t eat meat on Fridays. Even as an adult, I almost told someone they had dirt on their forehead until it dawned on me that it was Ash Wednesday.
As I got older, I inquired of friends as to why they practiced what they did. I learned about all of these days connected to the days leading up to Easter and realized that those who could explain the reasoning behind their actions followed this practice intentionally and with meaning. My attitude towards the Lenten season changed from “Aren’t we supposed to live this way every day anyway?” to “Maybe I should give something up to strengthen my faith and teach me to lean on God a little more during this season.”
I noticed my 8-year-old looking intently at someone with the cross of ashes on their forehead yesterday. As we were driving in the car, I thought I would use the moment to educate her on something I didn’t understand until I was an adult. After explaining to her about Ash Wednesday and Lent, she had a question.
“Mom?”
“Yes, Nikelle.”
“What is the best kind of gum to blow a bubble with?”
My husband and I just laughed. I suppose we aren’t always ready to receive the lessons we are taught.
“That’s a blog post right there,” my husband stated.
“What? Where?” our 5-year-old Jaycie wanted to know what she was missing out on. Laughting at the situation, I listened to my 2-year-old demand more gum and continued to contemplate the season of Lent.
While I am supposed to daily take up my cross, deny myself and follow Christ, I don’t always do that. I think Lent could be an intentional season to prepare my heart for remembering the reason behind Christ’s death and the celebration of His resurrection. What I have learned is that whatever I decide to give up (or possibly even add to my life) during this season, it needs to be intentional. There needs to be a desire to lean on God and deepen my relationship with Him. I cannot follow this practice because a church tells me to or because everyone else is doing it. Rather it should be entered into with the same mindset of a fast. For a season, I will step up my commitment to God to remind me that I can never give up enough for Him.
When someone has given their life for me, I can never show my gratitude enough. I can continue to offer up offerings in an effort to display my thankfulness but I will always be in His debt and forever grateful. I think there is something to be said for the practice of Lent. Maybe as a reminder of how we should live every day. What are your thoughts?
“Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit their very self?” ~ Luke 9:23-25
(I was also contemplating the practice of declaring to others what we give up for lent. “When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” (Matthew 6:16-18) The only reason I can figure for declaring this then would be for accountability. Therefore, it should be intentional when shared not just a declaration for the purpose of the season.)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Get Back Up Again
When my girls were learning how to walk, we encouraged them to get back up every time they fell. When they try new things and we watch them get discouraged, we try to explain to them the importance of giving it another try. We want what is best for our children and sometimes that means allowing them to fall down and encouraging them to get back up.
Last year as my oldest was learning how to ride her bike. I was tempted to allow her to quit trying because it was what I wanted to do as well. Bettering our lives takes a lot of work. I knew it was in her best interest to keep trying. When she finally started to catch on, she wiped out on her bike. I knew the importance of getting her back up on that bike right away. It's always worth getting back up again.
I was on my treadmill yesterday after dinner because I made a commitment for a race in April. Without this commitment, I would have blown off my treadmill once again. I did not want to run last night but when "Get Back Up" by tobyMac came on my iPod, I became energized with the reminder that it is all about getting back up again. I'm going to stumble and be tempted to stay down. With each step I take, there is a great chance that I will likely fall down again. I need to remember that I'm not failing until I decide it is no longer worth it to get back up again.
Last year as my oldest was learning how to ride her bike. I was tempted to allow her to quit trying because it was what I wanted to do as well. Bettering our lives takes a lot of work. I knew it was in her best interest to keep trying. When she finally started to catch on, she wiped out on her bike. I knew the importance of getting her back up on that bike right away. It's always worth getting back up again.
I was on my treadmill yesterday after dinner because I made a commitment for a race in April. Without this commitment, I would have blown off my treadmill once again. I did not want to run last night but when "Get Back Up" by tobyMac came on my iPod, I became energized with the reminder that it is all about getting back up again. I'm going to stumble and be tempted to stay down. With each step I take, there is a great chance that I will likely fall down again. I need to remember that I'm not failing until I decide it is no longer worth it to get back up again.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Meditate on it
"So I have learned this rule: When I want to do good, evil is there with me. In my mind, I am happy with God's law. But I see another law working in my body, which makes war against the law that my mind accepts. That other law working in my body is the law of sin, and it makes me its prisoner. What a miserable man I am! Who will save me from this body that brings me death? I thank God for saving me through Jesus Christ our Lord!" ~ Romans 7:21-25
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Imperfect Parenting at its Best
How is it that one little wrong choice can make me feel lousy about the other 99% of my day? I can go throughout the day feeling good about my choices, thinking that I am a fairly good wife and mother, make healthy choices, exercise and clean the house. Then one little mess up will leave me in a world of guilt, speaking negatively to myself and wondering if I will ever change.
Yesterday was one of those days (I suppose minus the healthy eating if I’m honest – but I still felt good about the day). I took my youngest girls to lunch with my daughter’s preschool friend, spent the day doing profitable activities without the television blaring in the background and utilized naptime to exercise and pray. Rather than wasting time after school wandering mindlessly around my house wondering how much longer until my husband finally walks in the door, my girls and I organized their closets. It was one of those days I felt like repeating over again… until that moment.
Once we were done in the girls room (it had taken a little bit longer than I anticipated), I realized my middle daughter would be disappointed that she missed her favorite television program. To solve the problem, I decided we would just leave the television off (PBS only would be broadcasting for another half hour anyway). My 8-year-old daughter came down and asked if she could turn it on. I informed her that we were just going to leave it off today. A few seconds later, I heard my 5-year-old crying and yelling that she wanted to watch TV. (Arrrggghh!)
This is my moment of shame. The moment where I decided to let the venom flow from my mouth and spew all over my children. I knew it was the wrong choice immediately because we all know how untrue the little chant “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” is. Why is it I can’t take the words back that I speak or at least stop and think before it’s too late? I can attempt to cover the evil with sound reasoning (at least to my ears) but I can't get past the truth of the sin in my life that my words revealed.
I feel like I will never gain self-control in my life. I know this is a lie. Self-control is a Fruit of the Spirit and therefore, can be attained. I simply fail daily in some area of my life where self-control would lead to victory and end up feeling like a loser (which I know is another lie).
It was too late to take back my words. They were spoken and they caused my oldest daughter pain. I was now faced with another choice. Did I attempt to justify my words and condone in my head why it was legitimate for me to act like a jerk? Or did I take the moment to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness from my daughter and from God? There was only one choice to make to redeem my day. One choice that could pull me out of the pit I had jumped into.
I talked to my oldest and asked for her forgiveness. After some tears (and letting go of a lot of guilt on my part), I received forgiveness and realized God can use my imperfection for His good. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.’ So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NCV)
Yesterday was one of those days (I suppose minus the healthy eating if I’m honest – but I still felt good about the day). I took my youngest girls to lunch with my daughter’s preschool friend, spent the day doing profitable activities without the television blaring in the background and utilized naptime to exercise and pray. Rather than wasting time after school wandering mindlessly around my house wondering how much longer until my husband finally walks in the door, my girls and I organized their closets. It was one of those days I felt like repeating over again… until that moment.
Once we were done in the girls room (it had taken a little bit longer than I anticipated), I realized my middle daughter would be disappointed that she missed her favorite television program. To solve the problem, I decided we would just leave the television off (PBS only would be broadcasting for another half hour anyway). My 8-year-old daughter came down and asked if she could turn it on. I informed her that we were just going to leave it off today. A few seconds later, I heard my 5-year-old crying and yelling that she wanted to watch TV. (Arrrggghh!)
This is my moment of shame. The moment where I decided to let the venom flow from my mouth and spew all over my children. I knew it was the wrong choice immediately because we all know how untrue the little chant “sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” is. Why is it I can’t take the words back that I speak or at least stop and think before it’s too late? I can attempt to cover the evil with sound reasoning (at least to my ears) but I can't get past the truth of the sin in my life that my words revealed.
I feel like I will never gain self-control in my life. I know this is a lie. Self-control is a Fruit of the Spirit and therefore, can be attained. I simply fail daily in some area of my life where self-control would lead to victory and end up feeling like a loser (which I know is another lie).
It was too late to take back my words. They were spoken and they caused my oldest daughter pain. I was now faced with another choice. Did I attempt to justify my words and condone in my head why it was legitimate for me to act like a jerk? Or did I take the moment to confess my sin and ask for forgiveness from my daughter and from God? There was only one choice to make to redeem my day. One choice that could pull me out of the pit I had jumped into.
I talked to my oldest and asked for her forgiveness. After some tears (and letting go of a lot of guilt on my part), I received forgiveness and realized God can use my imperfection for His good. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.’ So I am very happy to brag about my weaknesses. Then Christ's power can live in me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NCV)
Sunday, February 27, 2011
My Tears in His Bottle
Home videos and reminiscing through family photos have a way of reminding me of the way…
…I miss his voice.
…I miss his sarcasm.
…I miss his laugh.
…I miss the times he would take time for fun.
…I miss his comfort during times of pain.
…I miss his presence.
…I just miss him.
(Brookfield Zoo 1978)
"When we all get to heaven, What a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!" My daughter, Andelise, (2-years-old) sings these lyrics and informs me that it is "Gaga's song". She is the only one that I don't have any pictures of with my dad because he had already gone to heaven. It makes me smile to think about heaven all the while tugging at my heart.
…I miss his voice.
…I miss his sarcasm.
…I miss his laugh.
…I miss the times he would take time for fun.
…I miss his comfort during times of pain.
…I miss his presence.
…I just miss him.
(Brookfield Zoo 1978)
"The Lord cares deeply when His loved ones die." ~ Psalm 116:15 (NLT)
(Grandkids weekend 2006)
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." ~ Psalm 56:8 (NLT)
"When we all get to heaven, What a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory!" My daughter, Andelise, (2-years-old) sings these lyrics and informs me that it is "Gaga's song". She is the only one that I don't have any pictures of with my dad because he had already gone to heaven. It makes me smile to think about heaven all the while tugging at my heart.
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