It is my practice to decline invitations to parties where I don't know many people. I feel awkward and don't like the person I become in those types of situations. More often than not, however, I realize that much of what I appreciate about my life arrived after a journey through uncomfortable. With that in mind, I'm joining the Ultimate Blog Party 2011!
It was almost 4 years ago that I started blogging as a way to cope with my dad's battle with cancer. I was able to express my thoughts in writing and have a central source for people to get updates on my dad. In all honesty, a blog seemed like the perfect, safe place for me to express myself in written word without the risk of rejection.
The central theme of my blog came from a conversation with some of my friends about our identity. Something didn't sit right with me as I listened to my friends expose themselves as "mom" or "wife". What would happen to my identity if God forbid, I ever lost those titles?
Thankfully, I came to the conclusion that my identity stood secure in God alone. On February 27, 2008, my dad met His Maker and I started on my ultimate journey through uncomfortable. My dad's death rocked my world and taught me lessons I never realized needed to be learned (and I'm still learning).
While I can seek my approval, security, love and acceptance in many people, there is only One will will never disappoint. That is the center of my writing for that is the center of my soul. I am continually seeking my identity as "A Child of God".
This blog is simply my honest compilation of struggles and joys from a girl seeking Her God. My heart's desire is that as God is teaching me, He can somehow teach others as well. I will gladly journey through the uncomfortable for on the other side God shows me He is the one who satisfies all my desires!
Friday, April 1, 2011
Intentional Parenting
I follow Jill Savage's blog regularly. Jill is the Founder of Hearts at Home. This ministry has been instrumental in making me comfortable in my own skin as a mother and a wife. Jill is honest and open about her own mistakes, reminding me that I am not alone. On her blog today, she is linking up to the Ultimate Blog Party 2011. She is also giving away copies of Hearts at Home books every day (April 1-8). For an opportunity to win her book, My Heart's at Home, all I need to do is leave a comment of one thing I do intentionally as a mom. My mind is drawing a blank. Maybe it is because I am too focused on what she does intentionally that I just can’t focus on my own mothering. Jill says: “I’ll share first…I intentionally try to listen with my eyes. Sometimes it’s hard to make it happen, but I try to stop what I’m doing, look at my husband or son or daughter, and listen with both my ears and my eyes.” That is truly intentional parenting.
There have to be many things I do intentionally. Otherwise, I better reexamine my mothering. I know I am intentional about getting my girls to bed at a decent hour. Making time with grandparents and other extended family is something I’ve always been intentional in implementing. It is important to me to protect their innocence and allow them to just be kids. When their birthdays come around each year, I am intentional about celebrating them and writing a letter to give them when they are older. I know I attempt to be intentional in my parenting. So why is it haunting me that I’m not doing enough?
Whatever comment I thinking of writing as my attempt at intentional parenting seems to be lacking. I know my desire for my children when they are adults. My prayer is that my girls would live in relationship with God. When I talk to my God about my girls I express my desire for them to live in grateful response to all He has done for them. It’s my prayer for my own life as well. Maybe what I do intentionally is parent with thought of the future. While there are moments that I parent with no thought of tomorrow, I do my best to always remember the reason these girls are on loan to me from God. I am to raise them so they can fulfill His purpose for their lives. I want them to be women after God’s own heart. I want them to love Him with their whole heart, soul, mind and strength and I want them to love others.
Being a good mom is more than just making sure they are happy. My goal cannot be to have them view me as their best friend. I can’t simply compete for their heart (it’s a loss anyway as all three of them are daddy’s little girl). Parenting is more than just making sure they receive a good education or achieve their personal best in sports or other activities. 3 John 1:4 sums it up for me. “There is no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.” I am intentional in parenting with the thought of their future on my mind.
It’s a good question to answer: What is one thing you do intentionally as a parent?
There have to be many things I do intentionally. Otherwise, I better reexamine my mothering. I know I am intentional about getting my girls to bed at a decent hour. Making time with grandparents and other extended family is something I’ve always been intentional in implementing. It is important to me to protect their innocence and allow them to just be kids. When their birthdays come around each year, I am intentional about celebrating them and writing a letter to give them when they are older. I know I attempt to be intentional in my parenting. So why is it haunting me that I’m not doing enough?
Whatever comment I thinking of writing as my attempt at intentional parenting seems to be lacking. I know my desire for my children when they are adults. My prayer is that my girls would live in relationship with God. When I talk to my God about my girls I express my desire for them to live in grateful response to all He has done for them. It’s my prayer for my own life as well. Maybe what I do intentionally is parent with thought of the future. While there are moments that I parent with no thought of tomorrow, I do my best to always remember the reason these girls are on loan to me from God. I am to raise them so they can fulfill His purpose for their lives. I want them to be women after God’s own heart. I want them to love Him with their whole heart, soul, mind and strength and I want them to love others.
Being a good mom is more than just making sure they are happy. My goal cannot be to have them view me as their best friend. I can’t simply compete for their heart (it’s a loss anyway as all three of them are daddy’s little girl). Parenting is more than just making sure they receive a good education or achieve their personal best in sports or other activities. 3 John 1:4 sums it up for me. “There is no greater joy than to hear my children are walking in the truth.” I am intentional in parenting with the thought of their future on my mind.
It’s a good question to answer: What is one thing you do intentionally as a parent?
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Comfort in the Uncomfortable
Uncomfortable hardly begins to describe the way I feel. My stomach is uneasy. I watch my hands shake in trepidation. Fear has consumed me. I dread the criticism but hope for approval. It would have been better to remain in my happy place. Wouldn’t it?
I don't like to feel this way. Whenever possible, I avoid it at all costs. In spite of that, I know the unpleasant is often necessary.
My stomach feels uncomfortable when I choose not to indulge its every desire.
The aches of my body make me question the importance of my fitness goal.
Confronting my friend about a topic I know to be essential can be difficult.
I know I need to go there but I’d rather experience the comfortable. It is here that goals remain unaccomplished. Dreams will never be realized. Success will always be something left to attain.
Feeling a little awkward can lead to great benefits. Being ill at ease does not mean the outcome will be substandard. I just need to convince myself of that.
I witness pounds drop on the scale.
I complete a race once thought impossible.
My friendship deepens.
Sometimes, in order to achieve our desired result, we have to walk through the desert. During the course of the storm, we find our strength. Giants can be conquered if we struggle through the battle. Instead of staying comfortable in my happy place, it may be time to accept the challenges, take on the complicated and experience what victory truly tastes like.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." ~ Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
I don't like to feel this way. Whenever possible, I avoid it at all costs. In spite of that, I know the unpleasant is often necessary.
My stomach feels uncomfortable when I choose not to indulge its every desire.
The aches of my body make me question the importance of my fitness goal.
Confronting my friend about a topic I know to be essential can be difficult.
I know I need to go there but I’d rather experience the comfortable. It is here that goals remain unaccomplished. Dreams will never be realized. Success will always be something left to attain.
Feeling a little awkward can lead to great benefits. Being ill at ease does not mean the outcome will be substandard. I just need to convince myself of that.
I witness pounds drop on the scale.
I complete a race once thought impossible.
My friendship deepens.
Sometimes, in order to achieve our desired result, we have to walk through the desert. During the course of the storm, we find our strength. Giants can be conquered if we struggle through the battle. Instead of staying comfortable in my happy place, it may be time to accept the challenges, take on the complicated and experience what victory truly tastes like.
"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." ~ Romans 5:3-5 (NLT)
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Revolutionizing My Example
I heard the phrase once and claimed it for myself that “I’m not yelling. I’m Italian. This is how we talk.” It gets a few laughs and casually excuses my lack of self-control. Unfortunately, when I look in the mirror of my children, I realize my response pattern is in no way a laughing matter. As Karol Ladd states in her book, The Power of a Positive Mom, “Like it or not, our life is an open book, continually read by the little eyes in our homes.”
I went into this year’s Hearts at Home conference this past weekend with a picture of my defiant 2-year-old daughter in my mind. My little girl will cross her arms as she places a scowl on her face and looks crossly down at the carpet and exclaims “I not pick up the toys!” She often yells at her sisters in an attempt to convince them to do what she desires. When they do not respond in agreeable fashion, she will yell louder and meaner hoping to get her point across. I often think about how exasperated I am with her behavior and realize that, sadly, I am looking into a mirror.
It is commonplace for me to attempt to diffuse fights between my girls or discipline through a strong, authoritative voice (read: yelling). When that does nothing to achieve my desired results, I raise my voice thinking the louder and meaner I yell; the more likely they are to obey. Dr. Julianna Slattery in her workshop, “More Than a Spanking?” shared how yelling is compared to the new spanking as we act out in frustration towards our children. “Yelling is the #1 source of guilt with moms as we realize how ineffective we are.” She spoke a message straight to my heart as I continued to look in the mirror of my angry 2-year-old knowing that she simply lives out the example she sees every day in me.
Jill Savage spoke about revolutionizing our motherhood. That was the theme of the conference this year. She shared that “God can revolutionize our mothering one wrong choice at a time.” It is in our wrong choices that we see a need for change. “As we own our wrong choices, we can move forward.” Jill brought her mother, daughter and granddaughter on the stage with her to stress the reason as to why we should revolutionize our mothering. Seeing the generations there on the stage, I heard her say, “The decision you and I make as moms effect generations to come!” As we look into the mirror of our children every day, we need to remember her next point, “Our children are our message that we send to a world we cannot see.” There certainly is power in our example.
I went into this year’s Hearts at Home conference this past weekend with a picture of my defiant 2-year-old daughter in my mind. My little girl will cross her arms as she places a scowl on her face and looks crossly down at the carpet and exclaims “I not pick up the toys!” She often yells at her sisters in an attempt to convince them to do what she desires. When they do not respond in agreeable fashion, she will yell louder and meaner hoping to get her point across. I often think about how exasperated I am with her behavior and realize that, sadly, I am looking into a mirror.
It is commonplace for me to attempt to diffuse fights between my girls or discipline through a strong, authoritative voice (read: yelling). When that does nothing to achieve my desired results, I raise my voice thinking the louder and meaner I yell; the more likely they are to obey. Dr. Julianna Slattery in her workshop, “More Than a Spanking?” shared how yelling is compared to the new spanking as we act out in frustration towards our children. “Yelling is the #1 source of guilt with moms as we realize how ineffective we are.” She spoke a message straight to my heart as I continued to look in the mirror of my angry 2-year-old knowing that she simply lives out the example she sees every day in me.
Jill Savage spoke about revolutionizing our motherhood. That was the theme of the conference this year. She shared that “God can revolutionize our mothering one wrong choice at a time.” It is in our wrong choices that we see a need for change. “As we own our wrong choices, we can move forward.” Jill brought her mother, daughter and granddaughter on the stage with her to stress the reason as to why we should revolutionize our mothering. Seeing the generations there on the stage, I heard her say, “The decision you and I make as moms effect generations to come!” As we look into the mirror of our children every day, we need to remember her next point, “Our children are our message that we send to a world we cannot see.” There certainly is power in our example.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Good Intentions, Goals and Dreams
We all have good intentions, goals and dreams. The good intentions seem never ending. Goals help those good intentions evolve into deadlines to accomplish something specific. The dreams are more than good intentions. Dreams are hope that one day we will set a goal but hesitate because they seem a bit unattainable at times.
I have good intentions every day to eat healthy, exercise more, and lose weight. These intentions are rather vague and I really don’t have a good standard to measure them against other than that terrible scale. This year, however, I set a goal to run a 10K on April 16th. I printed out a training schedule to help me achieve that goal and am happy to say that I am on track with that goal. My dreams are another story. Sometimes I don’t even fully define them. I just know they are out there almost unreachable.
I’m usually reminded of my dreams when I attend the Hearts at Home conference each year. Women speaking, writing or even turning their passions into tangible product to sell to others, leave me believing I can do the same. I feel a little spark while I’m away and the ideas spin in my mind of goals to help reach those dreams… until I get home. Then the dream fizzles a bit although it’s always out there hovering overhead almost taunting me.
Some blogs I have been following lately are promoting the She Speaks conference. It sounds like a conference I would like to attend some day. It’s one of those sparks that makes me admit I have a dream I’d like to reach one day. Yet reality seems all too real and I don’t even take a step toward the fuzzy hopes of what I’d one day like to achieve. Renee Swope, with Proverbs 31 Ministries is offering a Cecil Murphy Scholarship for women who want to lead.
My dream has yet to be defined. There are bits of leading, writing, and speaking drifting out in my thoughts. Someday I will pinpoint my dream and make it a goal. For now, it’s still a dream.
I have good intentions every day to eat healthy, exercise more, and lose weight. These intentions are rather vague and I really don’t have a good standard to measure them against other than that terrible scale. This year, however, I set a goal to run a 10K on April 16th. I printed out a training schedule to help me achieve that goal and am happy to say that I am on track with that goal. My dreams are another story. Sometimes I don’t even fully define them. I just know they are out there almost unreachable.
I’m usually reminded of my dreams when I attend the Hearts at Home conference each year. Women speaking, writing or even turning their passions into tangible product to sell to others, leave me believing I can do the same. I feel a little spark while I’m away and the ideas spin in my mind of goals to help reach those dreams… until I get home. Then the dream fizzles a bit although it’s always out there hovering overhead almost taunting me.
Some blogs I have been following lately are promoting the She Speaks conference. It sounds like a conference I would like to attend some day. It’s one of those sparks that makes me admit I have a dream I’d like to reach one day. Yet reality seems all too real and I don’t even take a step toward the fuzzy hopes of what I’d one day like to achieve. Renee Swope, with Proverbs 31 Ministries is offering a Cecil Murphy Scholarship for women who want to lead.
My dream has yet to be defined. There are bits of leading, writing, and speaking drifting out in my thoughts. Someday I will pinpoint my dream and make it a goal. For now, it’s still a dream.
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