All becomes Gift

A combination of disappointment, frustration and discouragement has made it difficult for my heart to embrace the new year. "Soul weary" is the perfect description for this season of life. The core of my being has been shaken, overcast by shadows of failings.

The words from 2 Corinthians, chapter 3, verses 16-18 are timely and restore Truth I've already known. "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I must shift my vision from the world and all its flaws to my God who will not disappoint.

The Lenten season is upon us and I've been contemplating if I participate in the tradition of old. Growing up, this was never a practice I was encouraged to take part in. Justified by the idea that every day should leave us reflecting on our lives in relation to Christ's sacrifice for us, I didn't think twice about it. With age, however, comes perspective and a broadening of the world. Explanations from friends who value the ritual leave me contemplating what I myself should abstain from for a season.

Coming off of a year where the fulfillment of my personal vow leaves me questioning the purpose of the journey, I struggle with the benefit of another season of self-denial. While eliminating desserts from my life in an effort to seek God more fully appeared valuable enough, the revelations upon release of such a vow are bewildering. Since I am the only one privy to the information in the depths of my soul, it is only I that can see how far God remains from being my first choice for comfort. My problem is far from decadent chocolate and rich desserts. Clarity confirms that comfort is my idol.

Now what do I do in the face of that truth? While I am still working to unravel the mess of this past year's journey, I hesitate to sacrifice something for the sake of sacrifice. Could that possibly have been the only reason to fulfill my journey as the end came into view?

I've heard it suggested that rather than abstain throughout this season, one should consider adding a practice instead. In an effort to keep my eyes on Christ, I am choosing to count gifts this season. As Ann Voskamp states in her book, One Thousand Gifts, "When I realize that it is not God who is in my debt but I who am in His great debt, then doesn't all become gift?" I've already begun counting and experiencing joy at the work of His hand.

1. Days off school

2. No reason to get out of PJ's
3. Kids who love to craft
4. Children learning
5. Redemptive moments
6. Grace extended from husband
7. Crescent moons shaped like smiles
8. Worship songs speaking my heart
9. The Body of Christ
10. Authentic conversations
11. Friends reaching out
12. Pain that brings positive results
13. Opportunity
14. Notebook paper
15. Ink
16. Cursive handwriting
17. The post office
18. Thank you notes
19. Truths that lead to change
20. Hope
21. The written word
22. Traditions
23. Sleeping children
24. Husband's snoring
25. Limping dog
26. Expectant welcomes home
27. Lips that meet mine alone
28. Laughter of little girls
29. Valentines
30. Friends who share
31. 10-year-old creative minds
32. Chatty 7-year-olds
33. Books read aloud by first graders
34. Preschool fingers cutting
35. Awkward teeth peering through huge smiles
36. Bible verses that establish Truth
37. Minds are capable of memorizing
38. Mentoring relationships
39. Prayer
40. Quiet
41. Barbies at play directed by little girls
42. Sofa forts
43. Lego creations
44. Moments of obedience
45. Kissable foreheads
46. Color
47. Books
48. Water
49. Shared recipes
50. Dark nights
51. Warm blankets
52. Soft pillows
53. Warm shelter
54. Arms around me
55. "Pick me ups" from 4-year-olds
56. Being a stay-at-home mom
57. Classroom parties
58. Partnering with other moms
59. Legs able to run
60. Music
61. Freedom in Christ (Ephesians)
62. God's pleasure in bringing me into His family (Ephesians)
63. Without fault in Christ (Ephesians)
64. Showers of Kindness (Ephesians)
65. God's grace (Ephesians)
66. Holy Spirit (Ephesians)
67. God's guarantee (Ephesians)
68. Blankets raggedy from too much love
69. Teddy bears hugged tightly
70. Brown eyes
71. Blue eyes
72. Pop Tarts
73. Cough medicine
74. School bus drivers
75. Children little enough to carry
76. Kids big enough to walk
77. Multiple bathrooms
78. Peanut Butter & Jelly
79. Nutella
80. Smell of fresh brewed coffee
81. My husband's contagious laugh
82. Coats, hats and gloves
83. Singing girls
84. Balloon play
85. Slipper socks and the smile it brings to a 7-year-old
86. Little legs that jump up and down
87. Glistening frost
88. Soft Kleenex
89. Anticipation
90. Blonde dogs bathing in the sunlight
91. A furry face to greet me each morning
92. Puppy spirit in a geriatric dog
93. Morning sunlight through windows
94. Abundance
95. Those who don't grow weary of doing good
96. Lives worth celebrating
97. Season of Winter
98. Laid back spouse
99. Man who provides for our family
100. Goodbye kisses
101. Little ones waving through windows goodbye
102. Caring Daddy who watches and waves in return
103. To be needed
104. To be wanted
105. Blonde godsons
106. Little girls who melt my heart
107. Hindsight
108. Seasons of life
109. Friends who seek God
110. Friends for my husband
 
And the list goes on... What gifts do you have to count today?

 

"It really is a dare to name all the ways that God loves me." - Ann Voskamp

 

 

Hearts at Home encourages moms to embrace imperfection!

You always knew you would be the perfect mom. Then you had children.

 

Now that you know more, it’s probably safe to say that most days haven’t turn out like you imagined.

 

We’ve all been there.

 

When life doesn’t measure up to our expectations, it’s easy to feel like we’ve failed as mothers and we begin asking, “What’s wrong with me?”

 

The truth is nothing is wrong with you. You are normal. Your frustrations, your disappointments and your struggles are the same frustrations, disappointments and struggles that every mom is going through.

 

Hearts at Home is offering two opportunities for moms to embrace and celebrate their imperfections right along with others who are doing this “mom thing,” too!

 

No More Perfect Moms, the newly-released book by Hearts at Home Founder and CEO, Jill Savage, will help moms rid themselves of the “Perfection Infection.” With refreshing honesty, author Jill Savage exposes some of her own parental shortcomings with the goal of helping mothers everywhere shelve their desires for perfection along with their insecurities of not measuring up to other moms.

 

And, if you purchase the book any time between February 3-9 (online or at a store…and yes, electronic versions such as Kindle and Nook count too!) and send a copy of your receipt to NoMorePerfectMoms@moody.edu, you'll be given access to well over $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey - absolutely free! 

 

What will you receive? Click here for a full list of audio workshops, printables and books and all the details about how to buy the book!

 

Then plan to join thousands of moms, just like you, as they celebrate their imperfections on March 15-16, 2013, at the Hearts at Home 2013 National Conference, on the campus of Illinois State University in Normal, IL.

 

Registration is open!

 

Choose the two-day Friday PLUS! option for a main session and three or four workshops on Friday, plus choose three or four additional workshops on Saturday or choose to attend either Friday or Saturday. Add Moms Night Out on Friday for a great day – or two – away!

 

Main sessions feature keynote speakers Candace Cameron Bure – mom, producer, New York Times’ best-selling author and actress, and best known for her role as "D.J." on Full House – and Jill Savage – author and CEO and Founder of Hearts at Home.

 

Moms Night Out welcomes Anita Renfroe, well known for her pop culture parody of the William Tell Overture-Mom Style and special musical guest Meredith Andrews.

 

More than 30 workshops with titles including Seven Habits of Highly Effective Moms, Real Ways to Connect With Your Kids, Boys R Us--Raising Boys from 2 to 22, and Wise Women Raising Wiser Daughters, give you the opportunity to design the day around your own needs.

 

With a sell-out crowd at last year’s conference, early registration is encouraged. The Best Value Registration Deadline is February 20, 2013.

 

Click here for full descriptions of all speakers and workshops and to start the registration process. Group discounts are available!

 

 

Imperfect and Intentional

If I can just crawl into bed and get a good night of sleep, all will be well in the morning. My bedroom; the pillow; huddled beneath the blankets: This is my goal. Many times, a restful night will do wonders for yesterday's problems in light of the new day's dawning. Frustrating as it may be, my body needs 8 solid hours of sleep or more in order to cope with the roller coaster of emotions that come with any given day.
 
"If she is crabby, make sure she has had something to eat or send her to bed." This is the advice my mother gave my husband shortly before our wedding day. I cannot deny it. At the hour when many children are being kissed into a world of sweet dreams, my friends laugh, "It is past Tristi's bedtime."
 
They are jokes and I smile. Yet the truth is a reminder of my imperfection. Coming off of a weekend where life was lived and solitude was absent, I am left disturbed. Emotions that lead to actions I am seemingly unable to control remind me of my failures. It's downright maddening.
 
We paid a babysitter in hopes of an evening of cherishable memories. My husband kindly takes the blame I place on him. Deep inside, however, I know there is a plank protruding from my eye as I pick at the specks in his. The ticket stubs from last night's musical stare at me from the counter as a reminder of the messiness of life; of marriage; of me. It always comes back to me. Today is no different.
 
I wake up earlier than I really want. The irritating reminder that I am no longer a morning person. Once those early hours were my solitude. No more. Today, with yesterday and tomorrow, I must waken my children from their slumber. It will not be welcomed. If only they understood how very much I wanted to let them awake restfully on their own!
 
The morning routine begins with breakfast orders and complaints of sore throats and coughs that need assessing. All the while, the clock reminds me that were are on a schedule. I will wait to fuel my body until the oldest girls are on their route to an education I on-again; off-again question if we are doing correctly. My youngest cries that she forgot to put her sausage up, out of reach of the dog. She knows the certain outcome and I cannot assure her of a possibility otherwise. When I finally prepare to eat, part of my healthy choice falls to the floor. This morning has brought nothing different.
 
I fight off the annoyances of sharing my life with another. It should be a blessing. Instead, the gratitude I expressed yesterday for my husband's assistance in putting away the dishes is now a distraction of all that is good. Once again, he didn't do it "right". Will I ever be able to overlook what I perceive to be his disregard my desires and see the obvious diamond in the rough?
 
My days are imperfect. Sharing my life with another human being reminds me of that daily. Adding three more has only magnified my need for change. I am selfish. I am flawed. I am imperfect.
 
I need grace. This world does not offer it to me. As I do my best to keep up with the rat race, reminders hit me from every direction that I simply do not measure up. I must quit the comparison game. Winning is an impossibility when I "compare my insides with the outsides of others".
 
Today I will be intentional. I will seek solitude. The quiet I so desperately need will be protected. My focus will turn to the one place grace is always offered. "Be still and KNOW that I am God." It is here: in His presence, pouring over His words of Grace... this is where I will find peace with my imperfection. Not because my selfishness and flaws are to be overlooked. Instead, because He covered them many years ago on Calvary.
 
Solitude. Grace. Peace. Gratitude. They are mine if I intentionally seek them. I will be hard pressed to find them in this world. For the moment, I must pull away until I remember to lay my imperfections at His feet and quit attempting to do it all on my own. God is good. I must keep my eyes on Him.

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Be sure to pick up Jill Savage's new book, No More Perfect Moms this week! (By purchasing any time between February 3-9,you'll be given access to well over $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey - absolutely free!)

 

A Conversation with Andelise about her Future

My 4-year-old daughter, Andelise, is curling her Barbie's hair.

I ask, "Are you going to do hair when you grow up?"

"Actually, I want to be a mom when I grow up."

"That's Nice."

"When I have a baby, I'm going to name her Own-cha."

"Oh."

"I just need someone to be my husband."

"Yes."

"Brady said he will be my husband."

"Brady?"

"Yeah. That way daddy doesn't need to pick one out."

Cleanliness is next to Godliness (A Comparison Game)

(Today is the Third Thursday of the month. Time for the Hearts at Home Home Blog Hop! This month's topic: No More Perfect Homes.)

If cleanliness is truly next to godliness, our home is filled with wickedness. So begins the comparison game. I'm not so sure I even want to play.

My ministry is my home… in more ways than one. Our doors may not be clean, but they are welcoming. In those discouraging moments when other women are feeling “less than”, I invite them to come for a visit. I half-heartedly joke that one will always walk away feeling better about their own home after they leave mine.

In all seriousness, these few weeks into 2013 have attempted to pull me into a bit of depression due to the pit I live in. The calendar informs me that it is January 17^th and I still have Christmas greetings on my kitchen counter to mail out… and at my computer… and on my floor. They sit because I ran out of ink and postage.

When you walk into our home, this is a picture of what you see. (If I’m honest, I would show you the mess in the closet on the other side of the hallway that prevents the door from closing. Not to mention the disaster of my kitchen counter unable to be hidden from all who knock at our front entrance. The truth is I strongly embrace authenticity. I’ve just learned not to reveal it all!) While we purchased this bench to be a coat rack for our guests, more often than I would like to admit, the only purpose it serves is to collect our family clutter.

The dining room table I sit at as I type still has remnants of powdered sugar from our dinner last night. Not willing to take the time to wipe it down, I find a “clean enough” spot to work out my thoughts. If not for writing prompts from Hearts at Home, my blog might continue to lay dormant for months. There is always some mess that needs attention in my home.

This is a moment to allow my thoughts (which resemble the bursts of popcorn as it heats, jumping and bumping and piling up) to quietly and neatly organize into a short post. It is one way I can convince myself to put the never-ending task of cleaning on hold. (Really, it doesn’t take much persuasion for me to procrastinate on housework.)

I am a TERRIBLE housekeeper. Every now and then I wonder what people think about the way we live (and no one but those who live within these walls knows the full extent of it). Then I stop myself. I simply cannot go there. The thoughts would swallow me up and consume me.

As far as I can tell, other people do not live this way. I attempt to purge items out of our home only to look around and wonder what I did all day. I want to hide away from people as I shovel out but it is impossible.

I encourage our company to leave shoes on when they come into our home although we are intentional about changing our socks before entering the homes of our friends. While our clothes are clean, they are likely not free of pet hair. We eat off of clean dishes but they may pile up on our counters until we run out. I do my best to keep things picked up and vacuumed but you could easily find a spot to write in our dust. (Just please don’t date it like my niece did once.) Our home is a work in progress. Just like me.

People will tell you I am highly competitive. While that may be true, I know when to play (because I can win, of course) and when to just let others win. The comparison game is one of those that I just choose not to play. It is impossible to win. It is one of those games that really shouldn’t even exist. Everybody is invited to play but nobody really ever wins.

If you like games but get tired of all the judgment, you are welcome in our home. Gather up your family and your board games (if you like a little competition)… just leave the judgment at home. (Oh, and for your socks’ sake, remember to keep your shoes on!)

 

If you struggle with thoughts of feeling “less than”, be sure to purchase up a copy of Jill Savage’s new book, No More Perfect Moms the week of February 4-9. Chapter 8 addresses this month’s Blog Hop topic. If you live in the Joliet area, you are welcome to join me on Tuesday mornings for 10 weeks starting February 18^th to discuss the book. If that doesn’t work for you, meet me back here for some online discussion. Don’t forget to sign up for the Hearts at Home National Conference the weekend of March 15-16 in Normal, IL!