As I look back over 2007, there is much to thank God for. I have been able to accomplish much and He has been revealing Himself to me in a whole new way this past year.
The common question now is “What’s your New Year’s Resolution?” I don’t have one. I’ve made them in the past but here’s my thought on it all. Why do we need the changing of a calendar year to commit to doing things better? Better health. Better body. Better finances. Better relationships. These and many more tend to be the topic of such New Year’s Resolutions.
I do like to look back over the past year and plan for the upcoming one. My goal (not resolution) is to become healthier overall. I want to make better choices when it comes to eating. I’d like to be more active overall -- not just because I've set a goal of completing a marathon as I did in 2007 - but on a daily basis. It doesn't even necessarily have to be "exercise". My family could highly benefit if I just choose to be active with cleaning my house!. There is always room for improvement when it comes to my choices with relationships. And I have yet to conquer the finances, so it shouldn’t take too much to see improvement in this area either.
My biggest desire for better health, however, is my spiritual health. I want to “Be still and know God”. My thoughts run rampant. I find it very difficult to quiet my mind as well as my heart. Still, it must be possible. I’ve experienced it before. God longs to speak to me and I need to take time to listen. With all that goes on in this life, I think investing more time in my relationship with the God of the Universe is likely the best step towards a healthier me.
Here's to a healthy 2008!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Dad Update 12-31-07
I just received an update from Mom. They have found swollen lymph nodes through the CT scan and will execute the same form of treatment he had most recently. The IV drip of chemotherapy should start today and he'll likely be in the hospital for at least seven days. If I recall correctly, the IV drip will happen for four consecutive weeks each Monday.
Doctors did find something on Dad's liver. Please pray that it is simply a cyst or something that is of little or no concern. Mom said she is not going to express too much concern about the liver unless the doctors do.
Dad is quite discouraged that he must undergo the chemotherapy once again. He responded well to this chemotherapy last time and we just pray that side effects are not as extreme as the ones that took him to the emergency room in the past.
How great is our God. He allowed our family to cherish a Christmas celebration together and the doctors are still pressing forward with treating my Dad. There is still much hope. There always is hope with our God.
Doctors did find something on Dad's liver. Please pray that it is simply a cyst or something that is of little or no concern. Mom said she is not going to express too much concern about the liver unless the doctors do.
Dad is quite discouraged that he must undergo the chemotherapy once again. He responded well to this chemotherapy last time and we just pray that side effects are not as extreme as the ones that took him to the emergency room in the past.
How great is our God. He allowed our family to cherish a Christmas celebration together and the doctors are still pressing forward with treating my Dad. There is still much hope. There always is hope with our God.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Dad's back in the Hospital - Great is our God
The splendor of the King, Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice, Let all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light, And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice, And trembles at his voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God
Age to age he stands, And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End, Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, The Lion and the Lamb
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God
You're the Name above all names, You are Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God
How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great Is our God
How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, and will sing
How great, How great is our God
This is one of the songs that was sung in church this morning. I could not hold back the tears. This song has brought me to tears in the past but this morning I found myself asking why? I think the answer is a question. Do I believe these words we sing?
Dad went back into the hospital this morning. His white blood cell count jumped from 13 to 40. We knew it was on the rise and that wasn't a good sign but we were still hoping and praying. Doctors have told him that he has pnemonia. They have yet to come in and discuss the cancer and what the plan of action is, however.
To say this is discouraging is a bit understated. Dad was so hopeful and confident that he would make it to the stem cell procedure this time around. This is where the questioning comes in. Through all of this can I confidently sing, "How great is our God, sing with me"?
My heart is heavy. This is the first Christmas without my Grandpa Tuttle (Dad's dad). It would have been nice to have Dad at the family Christmas party today. Yesterday, he was able to celebrate with us at Grimaldi Christmas (my mom's side). I find myself asking, "What would one more day have done?" Still, I can't wonder. I can't question. I must be thankful that he was able to celebrate yesterday and not question today.
I was talking with my Dad's sisters and his mom today. My Aunt Val reminded me of a saying. I don't remember it in it's entirety. However, I do remember the important line. "Faith looks up." Without keeping my eyes on God, it's impossible to continue to hope.
As I struggle in my heart and ask God, "Why?", I need to remember that He is still in control. Eternity is still what matters and He can still heal Dad. He has healed the lame, the lepers, the blind and even raised the dead. Certainly, he can heal Dad from cancer. And confidently, I know He will heal my Dad. Whether Dad lives or dies, he will be healed. I will choose to look up and keep my eyes on Christ. He is the only way to get through this.
Let all the earth rejoice, Let all the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light, And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice, And trembles at his voice
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God
Age to age he stands, And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End, Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one, Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb, The Lion and the Lamb
How great is our God, sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great is our God
You're the Name above all names, You are Worthy of all praise
My heart will sing how great is our God
How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, all will sing
How great, How great Is our God
How great is our God, Sing with me
How great is our God, and will sing
How great, How great is our God
This is one of the songs that was sung in church this morning. I could not hold back the tears. This song has brought me to tears in the past but this morning I found myself asking why? I think the answer is a question. Do I believe these words we sing?
Dad went back into the hospital this morning. His white blood cell count jumped from 13 to 40. We knew it was on the rise and that wasn't a good sign but we were still hoping and praying. Doctors have told him that he has pnemonia. They have yet to come in and discuss the cancer and what the plan of action is, however.
To say this is discouraging is a bit understated. Dad was so hopeful and confident that he would make it to the stem cell procedure this time around. This is where the questioning comes in. Through all of this can I confidently sing, "How great is our God, sing with me"?
My heart is heavy. This is the first Christmas without my Grandpa Tuttle (Dad's dad). It would have been nice to have Dad at the family Christmas party today. Yesterday, he was able to celebrate with us at Grimaldi Christmas (my mom's side). I find myself asking, "What would one more day have done?" Still, I can't wonder. I can't question. I must be thankful that he was able to celebrate yesterday and not question today.
I was talking with my Dad's sisters and his mom today. My Aunt Val reminded me of a saying. I don't remember it in it's entirety. However, I do remember the important line. "Faith looks up." Without keeping my eyes on God, it's impossible to continue to hope.
As I struggle in my heart and ask God, "Why?", I need to remember that He is still in control. Eternity is still what matters and He can still heal Dad. He has healed the lame, the lepers, the blind and even raised the dead. Certainly, he can heal Dad from cancer. And confidently, I know He will heal my Dad. Whether Dad lives or dies, he will be healed. I will choose to look up and keep my eyes on Christ. He is the only way to get through this.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Dad Update 12-26-07
Dad will go to the hospital tomorrow for a scheduled CT scan and blood tests. The hope is that he will be able to have a stem cell transplant in the new year.
There is concern that his white blood count is quickly increasing. He has been having night sweats and a fever as well as some shortness of breath. Our prayer is that he is just battling some type of infection although the fear is that the cancer may be attacking again.
Dad and Mom went to "the farm" today. They took my Dad's mom with. It was good for my Dad because "the farm" does his heart good. He even bundled up and walked around a bit. I desire so much to be able to spend time again this spring, summer and fall with him and the rest of my family at "the farm". He even gave each of us a lantern and air matress for camping there.
All we can do is continue to pray and wait on the Lord.
There is concern that his white blood count is quickly increasing. He has been having night sweats and a fever as well as some shortness of breath. Our prayer is that he is just battling some type of infection although the fear is that the cancer may be attacking again.
Dad and Mom went to "the farm" today. They took my Dad's mom with. It was good for my Dad because "the farm" does his heart good. He even bundled up and walked around a bit. I desire so much to be able to spend time again this spring, summer and fall with him and the rest of my family at "the farm". He even gave each of us a lantern and air matress for camping there.
All we can do is continue to pray and wait on the Lord.
A Common Christmas
Christmas and the days surrounding it can often be a blur. My prayer was to intentionally cherish the time shared with our loved ones this year. Rather than think ahead to the what ifs of the future, I wanted to embrace the moment.
Heading over to my parents for breakfast Christmas Eve morning, my emotions were unsettled. I didn't know what to expect as we walked in the front door. Concern attempted to consume me as Mom had just informed me that Dad has been having night sweats and running a fever once again. Praying for an infection rather than the feared alternative, I wanted to be prepared for anything.
It was just a common Christmas celebration. To be honest, it seemed a little strange. Shouldn't our celebration this year have been different? Maybe we could have sat around listening to stories and sharing memories of past years. Possibly home videos would have made this year special. With all that has happened in the past year, I had expectations of a sentimental Christmas.
Other than the interruption from Dad's home nurse, we had a rather ordinary celebration on Christmas Eve Day. The breakfast feast was overabundant as always. The kids still begged to open presents. Dad donned the big red suit filled with stuffing and passed out candy canes. Mrs. Claus was by his side once again and helped to calm the uncertainties of the little ones. There were board games and card games. Christmas music and movies. The kids played with no care in the world.
Before we knew it, we were out the door for the annual Christmas Eve celebration with Dad Carlson's cousins and their families. The atmosphere was festive as always. This is one moment we thank God for our minivan as the kids walk away with mountains of gifts. This family is more than generous! (Jaycie had a breakdown the next day demanding more presents -- she kind of got into the spirit of greed.)
The girls woke up to find presents from "Santa" under the tree on Christmas morning. We were off to Rod's parents' house in time for lunch where the girls found plenty more gifts to be unwrapped. Good conversation was ample and the girls were well behaved at all the parties. We ate numerous meals with cookies and pies. There was even time for Scrabble and Spoons.
And it was over. Just like that. No big revelations. No extraordinary memories. Just an ordinary Christmas. Common celebrations like every other year. I cherish them because next year holds no promises. We must cherish every moment we are blessed to have together. I'm grateful for the blessing this year to have a common Christmas to cherish.
Heading over to my parents for breakfast Christmas Eve morning, my emotions were unsettled. I didn't know what to expect as we walked in the front door. Concern attempted to consume me as Mom had just informed me that Dad has been having night sweats and running a fever once again. Praying for an infection rather than the feared alternative, I wanted to be prepared for anything.
It was just a common Christmas celebration. To be honest, it seemed a little strange. Shouldn't our celebration this year have been different? Maybe we could have sat around listening to stories and sharing memories of past years. Possibly home videos would have made this year special. With all that has happened in the past year, I had expectations of a sentimental Christmas.
Other than the interruption from Dad's home nurse, we had a rather ordinary celebration on Christmas Eve Day. The breakfast feast was overabundant as always. The kids still begged to open presents. Dad donned the big red suit filled with stuffing and passed out candy canes. Mrs. Claus was by his side once again and helped to calm the uncertainties of the little ones. There were board games and card games. Christmas music and movies. The kids played with no care in the world.
Before we knew it, we were out the door for the annual Christmas Eve celebration with Dad Carlson's cousins and their families. The atmosphere was festive as always. This is one moment we thank God for our minivan as the kids walk away with mountains of gifts. This family is more than generous! (Jaycie had a breakdown the next day demanding more presents -- she kind of got into the spirit of greed.)
The girls woke up to find presents from "Santa" under the tree on Christmas morning. We were off to Rod's parents' house in time for lunch where the girls found plenty more gifts to be unwrapped. Good conversation was ample and the girls were well behaved at all the parties. We ate numerous meals with cookies and pies. There was even time for Scrabble and Spoons.
And it was over. Just like that. No big revelations. No extraordinary memories. Just an ordinary Christmas. Common celebrations like every other year. I cherish them because next year holds no promises. We must cherish every moment we are blessed to have together. I'm grateful for the blessing this year to have a common Christmas to cherish.
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