Arrangements

The visitation will be held Saturday from 2-8 at Kurtz Memorial Chapel in Frankfort, Illinois. The funeral will be Sunday at 10:00 once again at Kurtz. The burial will be at a cemetery near the farm in Iroqouis.

No more pain

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. Then He who sat on the throne said, Behold, I make all things new. - Rev 21

Mom called this morning with the phone call I've been expecting. Dad became face-to-face with his Savior last night. He went in his sleep. God did not allow him to suffer for long. I'm grateful that he is whole again. He can see more clearly than ever. He's at Jesus' feet, bowed down and in awe over something he could never truly fathom here on earth. 1 Corinthians 13:12 says For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.


Oh, how I can't wait to be with him there for eternity! It's still sad and my tears will linger for a while but I am so grateful for this overwhelming peace of knowing where Dad is and that I will see him again. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 says But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. Therefore comfort one another with these words.

Clinging to Faith

Dad has been on oxygen since Sunday night. He continues to run a fever. Although we still tell him things, there really is no communication on his end. We believe he is resting fairly comfortably from what we can see.

I still just find myself shaking my head over the whole situation. My human mind cannot make sense of all of this. There's just no way to. It all seems wrong. Still, I cling to faith. Hebrews 11:1 defines faith as being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is exactly the situation we are in. Sure of heaven and eternal life. Certain of God and His hand working even now.

I found an outline Dad did from my wedding. He spoke at my reception and did not get to share everything he wanted to. It was cool to read through it. Just moments earlier, my mom and I were discussing the song they sang at my wedding, "Household of Faith" and the verse Romans 10:17 "Faith comes from hearing the message and the message is heard through the Word of God." Dad had this same verse written out in the outline. My parents truly are "one". It was just another comfort for my hurting heart. And another reason to keep the faith.

Living

Dad continued his fever yesterday. It was extremely difficult to watch him as he moaned. Here is this man that has always been so strong - an anchor for our family. Now as this anchor fades away the only Anchor I know to hold onto is the one he taught us about - Jesus. I prayed numerous times for him yesterday - that God would take him home to heaven. This prayer is another one where I must trust God rather than believe I know best.

There is really no more communicating with Dad although we still believe he very well can hear and understand everything going on around him. There is now a hospital bed at the house. It was necessary so Mom can take care of Dad best. At the moment, my brother, Will, has a fever and my brother, Trent, hurt his back at work. This takes away the strength that is needed in moving Dad around. Mom still wants our family to be the help for Dad. It's our privilege. Traci and I helped once again yesterday as our husbands helped on different occasions as well. We are so blessed to share this and have this time together.

Watching my mom care for my dad is one of the most heart breaking and strengthing parts of this process. Here is a woman who we characterize for her self-sacrifice. Even now, so many of us cannot fathom the way she pushes all her own needs aside to care for this man she has shared life with for 36 years.

They should have been able to celebrate this part of life. For the first time in just the last couple of years, my dad began to talk about retiring rather than working up until his final breath. It seems like so much is stolen from them. They were married at 17 and 19-years-old. That almost seems like a guarantee for enjoying life after the kids are grown and gone. There are no guarantees in this life other than the ones God promises in the Bible.

I have not witnessed Mom in tears very often throughout this process. Yesterday, throughout the day, I'd find her laying her head next to him attempting to sing along with the music we have playing and the tears just began flowing from her eyes. My mom lives 1 Corinthians 13. Love is sacrifice and my mom has given us such a strong example of what we need to be to others.

I find myself longing for eternity and yet there is still this life to be lived. Currently, my life is consumed with my dad. I don't know how long we will experience this process. Still, I know life continues and through this God is teaching me how to live it more richly.

Running a Fever

Today Dad was running a fever. There was not really any communication with him. It makes us wonder how much time is really left here on this earth for him. For his sake, I pray it's not long. Mom gave me the privilege of sitting by him for a short while. His body was so hot, I began sweating. It was a moment where I couldn't fight back tears. I don't want him to suffer. Really, though, we don't know how much he truly is suffering. We just expect that he is.

The house is always full of people. Even just between my siblings and myself. Today my maternal grandparents came in from Peoria, my Aunt and Uncle were in from Michigan and most of my dad's siblings as well as his mom came to visit at some point during the day.

It's an exhausting process but comforting at the same time. Most moments he seemed to be resting peacefully. I found myself praying for God to take him soon. I know God is in control, it's just hard to watch him this way.

Thanks to everyone for all the offers to help, the assistance that has been given, friendships and prayers. We're forever grateful.