Last Friday, Nikelle had early dismissal from school. As I wanted a break and the little ones were napping, I had her choose a movie to watch. She chose The Wizard of Oz.
When the movie was over she came over to me looking quite sad. When I asked what was wrong, her voice got shaky as she replied, "I just didn't want her to have to say goodbye to her friends". At this, I couldn't help but smile. I've had my share of movies where I've been in tears but The Wizard of Oz is not on that list. "You've got a good heart," I encouraged her as I tried to hide my smile as I hugged her. "And a great imagination" she felt the need to add.
She was sobbing in my arms. It was nice having my almost 7-year-old climb up into my lap for a good cuddle. At the same time, I really didn't think The Wizard of Oz warranted this type of emotion. As I attempted to explain to her how the whole "Oz" experience was part of Dorothy's dream, she continued to cry. "Nikelle, are you sure you're not sad about something else? Are you thinking about Grandpa and Papa or something?"
"No," she responded. "I just wanted to stop this action of crying."
I just hugged her a little while longer as I smiled. It's a memory I'd like to treasure forever. Still so innocent and sweet.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Remembering
Today we remember those who have sacrificed and are sacrificing for our country. More than that, our family is remembering Dad Carlson. I came upon some pictures taken by a Patrick Brueggeman of the parade we would attend every year in LaValle, Wisconsin. Amongst his pictures was this one he caught of Dad Carlson getting some candy. He may have been helping Nike snatch some candy that was thrown at the parade or he may have simply been gathering some of the "hard" candy that the kids didn't pick up. He loved those types of candies. The thing I absolutely love about this picture is his smile. There are not very many pictures we were able to capture of Dad smiling. It's not because he didn't smile. He was just among the list of those who didn't smile for pictures.
When I think of Rod's dad smiling, I will always remember his death. Last Memorial Day when I watched as the life left his body, I was strangely aware of his smile. As we all gathered around his bed watching the Cubs game and talking, I was sitting at his feet. The National Anthem was playing and he smiled. He then smiled again and left this world peacefully. I am certain of the fact that he met our Savior. I personally cannot think of any other reason to smile as life is leaving one's body. His smile was so genuine, so peaceful and a memory that warms my heart which I will forever cherish.
As I remember his smile, I get to look forward to eternity. Smiles will be abundant. Laughter and joy will be full. And why wouldn't it be? We'll be spending eternity with God together.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Missing out?
It never fails. Whenever I commit to slowing my life down, opportunities arise where I have to intentionally commit to saying "no".
There are new study opportunities I really desire to commit to. A marriage study. One during the day with other women (childcare was even provided). And yet I have to say "no". Right now it's only saying "no" to myself. One would think this should be fairly easy. The problem is that I hate to feel like I'm missing out. I want to be informed. I want to be involved. I want to be in on whatever is going on.
I need to change my mindset this year. I need to realize that I'm not missing out. I can be informed. I am very involved. And whatever is going on is right here in this household. Still, it is hard for me.
God is impressing on me the importance of my own family. I can minister to others. I can be involved in the lives of others. And yet, what does any of that matter if I miss out on the lives God has entrusted me with? Now that Nikelle calls me out on so many things, I'm realizing some day she will look back and talk about the impact her mother had on her. I strongly desire for there to be some positive impact for her to reflect on.
Looks like this is a year where God is working on changing me. It's all good in the long run. During the changing process, however, it is downright exhausting. I am learning to embrace the change. It will make me a better person. I will become a more accurate reflection of Christ.
If I seem a bit distant, though, it's because I'm in the midst of change. So I'm tired. And yet, there is still so much changing to do... and I don't want to miss out on my girls while I'm doing it. So, I'll get better at saying "no" to myself and others so I can say "yes" a little more often to my family.
There are new study opportunities I really desire to commit to. A marriage study. One during the day with other women (childcare was even provided). And yet I have to say "no". Right now it's only saying "no" to myself. One would think this should be fairly easy. The problem is that I hate to feel like I'm missing out. I want to be informed. I want to be involved. I want to be in on whatever is going on.
I need to change my mindset this year. I need to realize that I'm not missing out. I can be informed. I am very involved. And whatever is going on is right here in this household. Still, it is hard for me.
God is impressing on me the importance of my own family. I can minister to others. I can be involved in the lives of others. And yet, what does any of that matter if I miss out on the lives God has entrusted me with? Now that Nikelle calls me out on so many things, I'm realizing some day she will look back and talk about the impact her mother had on her. I strongly desire for there to be some positive impact for her to reflect on.
Looks like this is a year where God is working on changing me. It's all good in the long run. During the changing process, however, it is downright exhausting. I am learning to embrace the change. It will make me a better person. I will become a more accurate reflection of Christ.
If I seem a bit distant, though, it's because I'm in the midst of change. So I'm tired. And yet, there is still so much changing to do... and I don't want to miss out on my girls while I'm doing it. So, I'll get better at saying "no" to myself and others so I can say "yes" a little more often to my family.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Then and Now Sabrina
Sabrina and Uncle Rod in our pool on Washington Street. We played the game "guess who" where I said "Who wears glasses?" Sabrina asked, "Who has a hairy chest?" Both answers were Uncle Rod!
Sabrina, Maty, Nikelle and Julia at the God's Girls' Craft Night this past week.
Happy Birthday, Sabrina Nicole!
In a world where we all get to decide what's right for ourselves, teenagers with character are hard to come by these days. That's one reason why I'm grateful for my niece, Sabrina. She is a teenager who strives to follow God in all she does.
Becoming an aunt at 14-years-old, I didn't realize the importance of embracing the moments with my niece. Now I've blinked and have come to the conclusion that the time I have left with her is precious. I better be cherishing every moment I have with her. She turns 17 today, her golden birthday. Soon enough, she'll be starting her adult life and squeezing time with us in where she can.
Sabrina is a natural-born leader. She is more than comfortable being in the limelight and we've known this about her since she was a little kid. At birthday parties, we would all be commanded to sit down and watch as she performed different songs for us. Seeing the joy she had in bossing us around and no other little ones to give our attention to, we all willingly obliged. Looking back, she really should have turned out to be a selfish kid. And yet she seems to be exactly the opposite. Sabrina is always thinking of others.
Sabrina is friends with everyone and yet the popular crowd seems to embrace her as well. Never "too good" to hang out with her Aunt or other family members, we even have the privilege of being Facebook "friends".
And she never finds herself "too old" to hang out with all her younger cousins either. Just this past week, Sabrina joined her little cousins for a craft night. With all the crazy busyness of her life, it spoke volumes to me about the kind of person Sabrina is. When I informed her that Nikelle was having quite a few friends at her craft night and I felt bad that she would be taking time off of work to join us, she replied. "My cousins are only little once. I'll NEVER regret spending time with them."
These days, we tend to miss out on a lot of Sabrina due to her busy schedule of school, work, soccer and friends. At the same time, I love that she still wants her family to share her birthday with her.
What I love about Sabrina is that she uses her outgoing leadership qualities to serve our God. My niece is not afraid to stand up for what she believes God wants her to. I remember a story when she was younger where she witnessed a woman shoplifting in a superstore. She was adamant that the store needed to be informed because this was clearly wrong. Although the store did nothing about it, she stood up for what was right and I'm certain it has helped shape her for today.
There is a more recent story I recall from the ice cream shop where she works. She was working the drive-thru when a man was mistreating a woman in the car with him. Sabrina sold the ice cream to the man and then informed him that "no woman should be talked to that way". (Bold, I know!) She closed the drive-thru window and walked away. The man waited for her to come back (I'm certain to share a few choice words) and when she didn't, he threw his ice cream at the window and sped off. (Yes, we've discussed the dangers in this with her now.)
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." ~ 1 Timothy 4:12
A lover of people who stands bold for our God. That defines our Sabrina. And I believe she lives this verse. Sabrina Nicole leaves no reason for anyone to look down on her. She strives to set an example for others as she lives her life for our God!
Becoming an aunt at 14-years-old, I didn't realize the importance of embracing the moments with my niece. Now I've blinked and have come to the conclusion that the time I have left with her is precious. I better be cherishing every moment I have with her. She turns 17 today, her golden birthday. Soon enough, she'll be starting her adult life and squeezing time with us in where she can.
Sabrina is a natural-born leader. She is more than comfortable being in the limelight and we've known this about her since she was a little kid. At birthday parties, we would all be commanded to sit down and watch as she performed different songs for us. Seeing the joy she had in bossing us around and no other little ones to give our attention to, we all willingly obliged. Looking back, she really should have turned out to be a selfish kid. And yet she seems to be exactly the opposite. Sabrina is always thinking of others.
Sabrina is friends with everyone and yet the popular crowd seems to embrace her as well. Never "too good" to hang out with her Aunt or other family members, we even have the privilege of being Facebook "friends".
And she never finds herself "too old" to hang out with all her younger cousins either. Just this past week, Sabrina joined her little cousins for a craft night. With all the crazy busyness of her life, it spoke volumes to me about the kind of person Sabrina is. When I informed her that Nikelle was having quite a few friends at her craft night and I felt bad that she would be taking time off of work to join us, she replied. "My cousins are only little once. I'll NEVER regret spending time with them."
These days, we tend to miss out on a lot of Sabrina due to her busy schedule of school, work, soccer and friends. At the same time, I love that she still wants her family to share her birthday with her.
What I love about Sabrina is that she uses her outgoing leadership qualities to serve our God. My niece is not afraid to stand up for what she believes God wants her to. I remember a story when she was younger where she witnessed a woman shoplifting in a superstore. She was adamant that the store needed to be informed because this was clearly wrong. Although the store did nothing about it, she stood up for what was right and I'm certain it has helped shape her for today.
There is a more recent story I recall from the ice cream shop where she works. She was working the drive-thru when a man was mistreating a woman in the car with him. Sabrina sold the ice cream to the man and then informed him that "no woman should be talked to that way". (Bold, I know!) She closed the drive-thru window and walked away. The man waited for her to come back (I'm certain to share a few choice words) and when she didn't, he threw his ice cream at the window and sped off. (Yes, we've discussed the dangers in this with her now.)
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." ~ 1 Timothy 4:12
A lover of people who stands bold for our God. That defines our Sabrina. And I believe she lives this verse. Sabrina Nicole leaves no reason for anyone to look down on her. She strives to set an example for others as she lives her life for our God!
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