Little Prodigy (j/k)

So this is what I found yesterday when Jaycie called me over. I have since moved the table and chairs to the garage. I'm exhausted following this little one around!

To add to her accomplishments, she saw a picture of Rod a couple of days ago and pointed saying "Da Da". Then we pulled up to my sister's house where she heard the dog barking and she laughed and said, "Pup".

Prodigy child, I know! :)

The calling

I can hear my name being called. Funny thing is that the older girls are spending the night at my mom's, Rod is out with some guys from church and last I checked, the baby isn't saying "mama" yet. So, why is it that I hear my name and feel the urge to answer the calling?

There must be some kind of connection between the girls being in bed (naptime or bedtime) and the voices I hear. It never seems to fail and lately I have been running as fast as I can to answer...numerous times. Tonight, I am refusing to listen. I am hoping that if I sit and write for a while, the voices will go away.

So, who is calling my name? I hear it from the pantry, the fridge, the freezer. Good grief, the van is even calling my name to run to the grocery store or drive thru! The zucchini bread, cheese, cereal, Chex Mix, goldfish, sherbert, bread, corn dogs, frozen chocolate bars and anything else that happens to be in my house calls my name over and over again. Most of the time, I am all too willing to run to them. Maybe I'm looking for comfort. Possibly it's just become a habit. Seriously, why is it so difficult to break bad habits? And another thing, why is it that by eating too much food as well as junk food adds 5-10 pounds in no time and yet it takes forever to work it off again?

Have you ever been asked the question, "If there was one thing you could do and know there was no chance of failure, what would it be?" I've always had a difficult time coming up with an answer. I think I know it now. If there was one thing I could do while knowing there was no chance of failure, I would eat whatever I wanted and lose weight at the same time! That's my answer and I'm sticking too it. Too bad I don't truly live in a fantasy world where all my dreams could come true.

Thinking

I thoroughly enjoy eating the sourdough french toast from the Cracker Barrel. As a matter-of-fact, I also am quite fond of their grits with some of that yummy syrup that they serve in their special tiny bottles. The ambiance in the restaurant is fun, too. That reminds me of the old-fashioned candy they sell there and how my brother and I used to pick some out after we ate breakfast on a weekend trip somewhere with our parents.

This is how my thought process operates most days. My girlfriend left on a weekend vacation this morning. She happened to mention that she was meeting her brother at Cracker Barrel before they head off to their destination. My mind naturally went to the food I enjoy there. Quickly, my thoughts became consumed with my dad. Dad was the first person to take us to the Cracker Barrel.

We enjoyed playing the peg game they have sitting on the tables. He liked all the little phrases written on the game which labeled you according to how many pegs you were left with. "Your just plain dumb" is one I remember his contagious laugh hanging on.

Not a day goes by where I don't think about my dad. Life is forever altered in a way I never anticipated. I think about him when I drive to Mokena. When Nikelle chooses to sing "Joy to the World" in the middle of the summer, I think about how Dad wouldn't have allowed that with me. Christmas was sacred (well, maybe that's extreme). Little things like the girls being tickled remind me of "Papa" and how he never knew when enough was enough. Menards. Restaurants. When the house is in need of repairs. A friend talking about their dad. Friends referring to their dads as "Papa".

Life goes on for everyone. Including me. It is an altered life that I am aware of daily. Rod can completely relate to me. It's unfortunate that we both experienced this reality of losing our dads at the same time. And yet, it is comforting. Comforting to know I can talk to Rod about how I am feeling and he understands. I don't always feel that people understand. More and more I realize how there are so many out there who have lost a parent (or worse - spouse, child...). I've simply been oblivious to it all.

I know God has made me a better person through this pain. It doesn't change the fact that I often wish He could have changed me through some other way. One thing I'm learning. Bad things happen. God cares. He understands. I really believe He hurts, too, when we hurt. I also am learning that Romans 8:28 holds very true.

"And we know that in ALL things God works together for the good of those who love Him who are called according to His purpose."

A Full Schedule and Fresh Starts

I'm attempting to wean the baby.
Physical therapy is now on my calendar twice a week for a running injury.
I'm learning to work running back into my schedule.
Correction: Due to physical therapy, I'm learning to work walk/running back into my schedule.
Nikelle and Jaycie have dance class every Tuesday.
The girls have swim lessons every Wednesday and time to play with their cousins.
We gave Nikelle horseback riding lessons for her birthday. Another thing on the calendar.
Then there is our weekly journey group.
There are the play dates.
Time out with girlfriends.
Rod's geek meetings once a month.
Time out for him with the guys.
Time with family.
Time with extended family.
Time with both sides of the family.
Somewhere in there I should figure out how to clean my house.
Vacuum.
Laundry.
Dishes.
Meals.
These are all fairly important.

Needless to say, my "fresh start Monday" ended up being nothing of the sort. Still, I'm attempting to gain some control. It's a process. Every day there are decisions that need to be made. Some days I make good choices. Other days I have good intentions. My battle with my weight is one I fight every minute of every day. A full schedule does not help. I need to learn to manage my life better. Still, I'm grateful for the full life that I have. It means my blessings are in abundance.

I'm maintaining my weight. I'd just like to lose a bit more. Maybe the "fresh start" needs to move from Monday. Maybe I need a fresh start today.

I have learned that a fresh start on Monday...again, is better than never starting at all.

The last time I stepped into a Weight Watchers meeting was about a month ago. Life just happened. Things got busy, the kids were sick and the next thing I know, I'm working off the same 5 -10 pounds I had just gotten off. Too often, I will beat myself up for putting weight on...especially over the weekend. Not eating right, going out to eat too often, choosing to indulge in too many desserts. These are all choices that lead to a pattern of guilt and more eating. Last week, I started fresh...only to end up starting fresh again today. The thing I've learned, however, is that it is better for me to start fresh again today than to never start at all.

I got out and went for a run today, pulled out all my Weight Watchers materials and have every intention of stepping into my meeting come Saturday morning. I may not be fitting into my comfortable, thinner wardrobe as I had planned but I am no longer wearing my elastic waistband pants every day feeling overweight, rundown and discouraged. There's hope.

Yep, starting fresh on Monday is better than never starting at all.