Letting go of Perfect

We ended 2012 by remembering my Grandma. It was not the way I anticipated reflecting on the year but with her dying on Christmas Day, it was what needed to be done. I was thankful to be able to share my memories about Grandma at her funeral today.

I wanted to share thoughts from the viewpoint of my childhood verses the marred reality of adulthood memories that seem to counteract. While it was difficult to find time to reflect on my Grandma’s life over the hustle and bustle of the holiday, I am so grateful God helped me to do just that. (You can read what I shared about my Grandma here and here.) While she was far from perfect, she loved us well. I can only hope and pray my children and grandchildren will be able to say the same about me.

In 2013, I have the privilege of helping launchJill Savage's (Hearts at Home) new book, No More Perfect Moms. With the busyness of life the past couple of weeks, I haven’t been able to read past Chapter 1. At the same time, because I’m giving up the masquerade of perfection, I didn’t have to feel any pressure to do more. All I can do is take things one day at a time; one moment at a time.

My house is a disaster. Christmas presents remain unpacked. Returns wait to be made. Decorations still deck our halls. I haven’t exercised in over two weeks. We can barely walk in the girls’ room. Clean laundry is piled all over my bed yet to be put away. Dirthy clothes overflow from hampers for the washer and dryer to run. Dishes are all over the counter. Dog hair is in noticeable clumps on the flour. Bleach sits on my bathroom beckoning me to disinfect. This is the reality of our life.

Another reality is that I spent time with family over the past few days. Our Post-Christmas-Pre-funeral-arrangement calendar was filled with fun for my children. When my daughter asked me to color a picture, I got down on the floor and did so. (This is a huge thing!) We are spending time with friends tonight to ring in the New Year and my house will look the same tomorrow.

I’ve given up on perfect. It won’t be the cleanliness of my home my children and grandchildren will talk about at my funeral. When I stand before God, I highly doubt He is going to be listing off the times I neglected to wash my kitchen floor. (Thank God!) My Grandmother’s life and death were an example of giving the gift of love. This is what I’m called to. This is what matters. In 2013, I’m going to do a better job of letting go of perfect in order to embrace authentic. Will you join me?

1.      Sign up for the free No More Perfect Moms email challenge that begins tomorrow! You'll be sent one short email a day to encourage you!

2.      WAIT until the week of Feb 4-9 to order the book. Why? This will concentrate as many sales as possible during this limited time period in an effort to get the book on the New York Times best sellers list. When a book is on the best sellers list, it reaches more people. If you’ll wait, you can actually help give the book visibility which will help reach more moms! THERE’S A PERK: If you order or purchase the book during the week of Feb 4-9, you will receive free bonuses! Jill will announce what these bonuses are on Feb 4, on her blog and the book website. The perks will include e-books, audio workshops, and more!

3.      Sign up for the Hearts at Home National Conference coming on March 15-16. The theme is No More Perfect Moms. I am so very excited that Candace Cameron Bure is one of the keynote speakers! (Remember DJ from Full House?)

Memories of Grandma

While Rod and I were at the Frankfort Fall Festival this year, I saw signs that read "Grandma & Grandpa's House: Where cousins meet to become friends". It's true in a way I'm certain only a grandma really realizes. They set up an environment where their grandchildren feel loved and secure and carefree. This was what Grandma did for her grandchildren.

Grandma's house was a place where kids could be kids. Of course, we had to be careful around the glass coffee table, but overall, it was our playground. I even had my one broken bone at Grandma's house falling off their old porch swing. For me, their house really was a place where my cousins became my friends.

When we would arrive for the family gathering (usually the last ones to show up), Grandma was always busy in the kitchen. I went straight to the playroom in search of my cousins. After all, there was a Christmas play to produce and star in. I had cousins that needed a little convincing to participate. Seeing as how Grandma was the only one who really enjoyed sitting through those productions anyway, we won't talk much about them.

As I helped my own daughter get ready to go to my mother-in-law's house on Christmas morning, I reflected on my excitement as a child. As a mother, I feel rushed, longing for a little more time at home. My daughters don't. They look forward to Grandma's house with anticipation. It was the same way for me as a kid. Going to Grandma's on Christmas Day was what we did.

I remember the way one of her cabinets clinked and clanked as we walked past it. It's a reminder of the glasses that were always filled with apple juice for every meal. Adults at one table and children at the other, it was just shy of a Norman Rockwell moment for this granddaughter.

Grandma and Grandpa sitting together in front of the fireplace that produced a false glow gave me a sense of warmth anyway. If we weren't receiving bathrobes, Kelly and I were gifted games for which we were well past the prime. From the perception of a child, however, our family was ideal.

As an adult, I realize our family is a lot like every other family out there - imperfect - each one with their own bit of crazy. Still, I cherish the way Grandma (with a little help from Hallmark) loved us well. We could always count on her to remember our birthdays with a greeting card. She kept track of each one of us and attended as many birthday parties as she physically could.

With so many in the world today feeling unloved, unwanted and uncared for, Grandma's love was a gift. You see it in every picture where she is holding a grandchild. That smile that shown with love for each one of us. I think she knew this was her responsibility as a Grandma: to give her grandchildren the gift of love.

As I drove from my mom's house to Aunt Sheree's the other day, I realized how very disconnected I am from Mokena. It started when I got married and moved to Joliet. This place became just a little less of "home" for me. When Grandpa died, I felt it again. The way Wolf Road made me feel sadness instead of excitement the way it did as a child. And even more so, when my dad died. Now again, with Grandma. This place just isn't home for me anymore.

Many of you have already the thoughts I wrote down for Grandma on her birthday. I find it a little ironic where my thoughts were considering how Grandma truly went Home on Christmas Day. I just felt the need to thank Grandma and share with her my hope. As the reality of adulthood brings memories that aren't so wonderful, I hope you will take the time to reflect on the good memories Grandma left us. They really are in abundance.

Advent Baking Day 22

This morning, we are trying Christmas Bread with our Advent Reading as our kids will not be home with us tonight. I'm done baking. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will be spent with family enjoying all the hard work. Next year, I'm making it a point to start my baking in November so that it is complete by December. We'll see if it goes as planned. This year, I've learned I can accomplish a lot more if I simply connect it to something important to me.

Merry Christmas!

Advent Baking Day 21

White-Chocolate Cherry Shortbread
(from Better Homes and Gardens)

1/2 cup maraschino cherries, drained and finely chopped
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup cold butter
12 ounces white chocolate baking squares with cocoa butter, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
2 drops red food coloring (optional)
2 teaspoons shortening
white nonpareils and/or red edible glitter (optional)

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Spread cherries on paper towels to drain well. In a large bowl, combine flour and sugar. Using a pastry blender, cut in the butter until mixture resembles fine crumbs. Stir in drained cherries and 4 ounces (2/3 cup) of the chopped chocolate. Stir in almond extract and, if desired, food coloring. Knead mixture until it forms a smooth ball.

Shape dough into 3/4-inch balls. Place balls 2-inches apart on an ungreased cookie sheet. using the bottom of a drinking glass dipped in sugar, flatten balls to 1-1/2-inch rounds. Bake in preheated oven for 10 to 12 minutes or until centers are set. Cool for 1 minute on cookie sheet. Transfer cookies to a wire rack and let cool.

In a small saucepan, combine remaining 8 ounces white chocolate and shortening. Cook and stir over low heat until melted. Dip half of each cookie in chocolate, allowing excess to drip off. If desired, roll dipped edge in nonpareils and/or edible glitter. Place cookies on waxed paper until chocolate is set. Makes about 60.

Snowman Treats

My brother and I swapped a couple of kids tonight. He and his wife have the older kids for a sleepover and I have the younger ones. Since we have a guest tonight (and I was looking for something fun to spice up my cookie tray), I tried this new recipe. I'm pretty happy with the appearance and I assume the taste will be good. We'll see... haven't read our Advent reading tonight yet and that's when the cookies get eaten!

Day 21 Advent Cookie:

snowman treats