Worship (Five Minute Friday)

Today I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo (from (in)courage) for a Five Minute Friday. The writing prompt for today is the word "worship". Why don't you take five minutes to write on the word, "worship", too? I'm doing it to exercise my brain and my writing and hopefully get this blog started up again. Here goes...

I don’t know about you but the word worship takes my mind immediately into a church building… pews in a row… crowds singing… and therefore, “worshiping” God. Lately, however, the word worship has changed in my world.

When I heard Amy Grant’s song, Hallelujah, it rang true in my heart in so many ways. She just put it into words so clearly. God doesn’t want our pretty. He wants the raw part of us. Worship is giving ourselves completely to God because we understand He is God.

We acknowledge Him for who He is; tell Him about how wonderful He is. It’s praise; gratitude; tears; joy. All of it pleases God when we acknowledge Him as Lord. That is worship: understanding who we are and who He is; aligning ourselves in the right place with the Creator of the Universe.

“God loves a lullaby
 in a mother’s tears in the dead of night
better than a hallelujah sometimes…”

I just want to be honest with God. That’s when He is able to take my heart and transform me. It’s my desire: Him giving me the desires of my heart because my heart is aligned with His.

I know who He is: Everything comes from Him. I know who I am: A sinner saved by grace; His grace… And nothing would be without Him… every blessing… every gift… everything. It’s all from Him. Yes, He even allows the pain. But He’ll work it for good… His good. It’s His world and He knows best what He intended for it to be.

 

Expectations of Magical Moments

When visiting the “Magic Kingdom” one would expect a dreamlike vacation. While I’ve never been to Florida, I did experience the magic of Disneyland, California as a child. We knew this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity as children of a self-employed carpenter and stay-at-home-mom! I remember being encouraged to share all of our loose change in a large coin bank that was being saved for our vacation. Dad had a goal of finishing laying the brick on our home which we all helped with in an effort to make our dreams come true. In hindsight, I can now imagine the sacrifices my parents must have made to make this magical vacation happen.

For my dad to take two weeks off of work to drive out west was unheard of. I don’t remember him as a man who could relax easily. Construction is a hard-working job where he had to take advantage of the good weather in the summer months to get his work done to provide for our family. The fact that we gardened much of our five acre property didn’t make it any easier to get away. Somehow, he was able my parents were able to let go of everything to create memories that are cherished in my dad’s absence today.

(My mom teases me that I always talk about the way my dad created memories. I do realize the part my mom played. It’s just that my mom was always there for us. I didn’t long for her time the way I did my dad’s. Thank you, mom, for being humble enough to cultivate memories that likely left you feeling on the sidelines. I’m grateful for all you did to make family memories happen.)

While we were given incentive to make our vacation happen, my husband and I are taking a different approach. For the past couple of months, we’ve been planning a SURPRISE vacation for our kids. With our oldest entering junior high in the fall, we want to be sure to create our own enchanted experience before she loses the simple awe that comes with being a child. More than anything, I want them to have memories to take with them into adulthood.

So here I am busy planning a fairytale vacation, all the while doing my best to keep it from our children. That means I’m still hosting an open house for my daughter’s 11^th year of life. And when my mother-in-law’s neighbor unexpectedly gifted us with a set of bedroom furniture, we decided it was God’s nudging to graduate Nikelle from the dorm style bedroom shared with her two younger sisters to her very own room (birthday wish list #1). Ideally, this would all happen before her birthday party (one week before we leave on vacation).

I had just about given up on this idea when grandma offered to take the girls overnight. It was the ideal opportunity to set my plan into motion. I was determined to create the best birthday surprise for her, fresh paint and all. Yep, I’m crazy… and I want it all to be perfect.

I once heard it said that if you procrastinate on projects until you can do it just right, you are a perfectionist. That defines me to a tee. It’s also why I get nothing accomplished.

Last weekend I finally admitted the need to give up on my idea of perfect. Reality hit that I had bit off more than I could chew and I had to admit my limitations. My daughter was surprised with her own room painted exactly the same way it was when she entered the world 11 years ago (with a mural of Little Suzy’s Zoo characters in Noah’s Ark). It doesn’t match the rest of the décor but we could still present her with her own room.
 

Nikelle was so overjoyed that she was choked up as she thanked God for her own room during family prayer time that evening. Later, as I explained my desire to paint her room, my daughter surprised me. “I don’t want you to paint over the mural! Carrie made that for me when I was born.”

I need to remember my daughter’s response. While I thought I had let her down, she was thrilled. Rarely, do my girls’ react to the disappointment I create for them.

As we set out to surprise them with a magical vacation, I must let go of my expectations. (PLEASE REMEMBER WE ARE STILL TRYING TO SURPRISE THEM. SHHH!!!) The enchantment will not be in the experiences I try to create for them. Our children have no hopes for this experience. They don’t even know where they are going! Magic happens because we are sharing this time together away from all the demands of home. That’s the captivating experience I’ll be reaching for this summer!
 

What expectations are you setting your children up for that you need to let go of this summer?

(Today is the Third Thursday of the month. Time for the Hearts at Home Home Blog Hop! This month's topic: No More Perfect Vacations. Head over to Jill's blog
to read more.)

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

A friend was talking to me recently about the signs from God she was recognizing in her life. Honestly, I’m not really sure how I feel about this topic. It’s not that I want to put God in a box. He can talk to us in any way He wants. He is God after all. Moses heard Him from a burning bush; Balaam's donkey spoke to him; and Nebuchadnezzar's future played out just the way the dream revealed. What makes me hesitant to embrace “signs” is the way we justify God’s hand at work when our “signs” clearly contradict the Bible.

Left to my thoughts the other morning, I recalled a time my husband attended an Illini football game in Champaign with his dad. It was a memory about the time my father-in-law was smacked in the face with a sign…. literally. To save money, they parked in one of the empty-field-turned parking-lots off campus. After the game one night, they were walking in darkness back to the car. Before my husband could get the words out to warn his dad… face plant right into a street sign. Ouch! (Is it rude to say he resembled a raccoon for quite some time?)

I feel a bit like my father-in-law with signs God has smacked me over the head with lately. No, I didn’t walk into a street sign and I’m not referring to signs that reaffirm my choices. I’m talking about the ones that give directions like we come across on the roads every day. These sings are pointing me toward life-change. There are WARNING signs that I must change my current thought patterns to avoid negatively impacting my girls’ futures. DETOUR signs have appeared all over my path changing the direction of my course. Just when I think I am picking up the pace toward the finish line, another DETOUR. I am told to YIELD and STOP more than ever before.

This is where I have been at in my life for some time now.

On the first day of summer vacation, my husband took the day off and we set off to the cheap movie theater for some family time. We ordered a large buttery popcorn to make the experience complete. Have you ever watched those machines make the tasty treat? Kernels pop all over the machine in every which way to perfect the idealistic movie snack. My mind has resembled the popcorn machine lately with my thoughts going every direction in order to line them up with God’s.

I realize my thoughts are not God’s thoughts. His ways are higher than my ways. Unfortunately, I don’t know that I’ve ever really believed it until now. And I’m still a work in progress. I’m seeing that I do put Him in a box too often. While I continue to apply for the job of the Holy Spirit, the position is already filled and God just wants me to live with purpose where He has called me. I’m in a season where God is opening my eyes and my heart. It’s a bit different for what I’ve always thought was right and true. That’s the problem. I’ve relied on my own thoughts for too long.

If I’m not blogging much these days, it is because the current sign in my life is UNDER CONSTRUCTION I’m attempting to watch, listen and respond to God. In this, is a struggle of breaking away from my selfishness and embracing humility. This is a difficult season for me but I’m going to remember the satisfying taste of luscious popcorn on my tongue and know God’s work will be so much more rewarding.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Good and Perfect Gift (No More Perfect Days)

(Today is the Third Thursday of the month. Time for the Hearts at Home Home Blog Hop! This month's topic: No More Perfect Days. Head over to Jill's blog to see what other women have to say.)

In my mind, the perfect day would be one in which I could focus on my agenda without any interruptions. Waking up before the sunrise, spending time with my Bible and journal meeting God, all while the rest of the house sleeps would be an ideal start to my day. I would be able to follow that up with some exercise and a healthy breakfast that would leave me feeling strong and confident in what lies before me. My house would be clean and I would be able to write and enjoy time with friends. Opportunities with my children would be embraced for the memory-making, faith-inspiring moments that they are and I would love my husband perfectly.

My day NEVER goes like that. However, if I would change my perspective, I could find perfect moments in every day. The opportunity to sit and hold my preschooler as I mourn over how quickly my soon to be junior higher has grown is a gift. While I don't want my 7-year-old to nap after school, I cherish the moment that will soon be gone in the revealing hindsight. I give thanks for friends coming to the rescue due to my lack of focus... again and again. A husband who takes care of our family, house and yard is a treasure even if that means I have a little more responsibility on my shoulders today than I would like. And while God's plans are very different than my own, He is faithful through it all and works everything for good.

I would see those I love less as interruptions to my agenda, if I would change my perspective to see everything as gift. Looking through different glasses allows me to count my blessings when stress wants to consume me. Every good and perfect gift is from above and each day is one of those.

(Read here about how God is helping me to see my days as a ministry of availability rather than interruptions.)

What can you embrace as gift today?

I want to be comfortable (5 Minute Friday)

Today I'm linking up with Lisa Jo Baker for a Five Minute Friday. The writing prompt for today is the word "comfort".

This word leaves me longing. I think more than anything in this world, I long for comfort… above all. It leaves my heart twisted because I am well aware of the fact that I am supposed to love God above all. Nothing else. So comfort becomes my god. My idol. My sin. I have fallen short of God’s glorious standard in my pursuit of comfort simply because it has me pursuing everything in light of it.

I curl up on my sofa with a blanket and journal to meet with my God and realize that even in this, I am seeking comfort. I am not on my knees pouring my heart out to Him. I am keeping my toes warm with a blanket, sitting in comfort on my butt, coffee with flavored cream in hand and a bottle full of water within arm’s reach. Comfort is my everything and it is my distraction for pursuing my Creator with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.

I tell my girls that they need to deny themselves in order to be a follower of Christ. This is what He tells us and yet what do I deny myself? When I want to taste something scrumptious, I buy it. If I am tired; I sleep (warm and cozy under my covers or cooled off in the summer with fan and central air). When I am exhausted, I justify checking out in front of the television or with a book.

But God is supposed to be my comfort. He is supposed to be the source of it all. Why is it so difficult for me to turn to the pages of His written word or fall on my knees to beg Him for help in my time of discomfort? This world makes it too easy. I want to be comfortable.

 

2 Corinthians 1:2-7

“May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace. All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us.”