Analyzing
your habits every January is the trend. For me, it didn't matter that I
completed 2 half marathons in 2013. The fact remains that I far from embraced a
healthy lifestyle. 20 added pounds are a sad reminder of just how much I let
myself go. Bottom line: I quit being
intentional. I didn't want to make the choices that would lead to a healthy
lifestyle. What I wanted to do in the moment, I did and now I'm paying the
price. There's always a cost to our
decisions.
I have a
friend that leads a boot camp offered through our church this time every year.
While there was a tug-of-war going on with my desires, ultimately I signed up
for the group. Likely, I joined because I have been a part since its
conception. The desire for exercise isn't there. Sure, I desire to be thin. I
just don't want to do the work required to achieve the prize. Still, I'm going
to the boot camp offered through my church. Does it really matter that the
driving force behind my decision was that I don't want to be left out. I hate
feeling like I'm missing out on something my friends are doing.
This morning
was the first boot camp of the year. Notwithstanding the griping and moaning, I
unburied my exercise mat, filled up the water bottle and got myself there. I
listened half-heartedly and participate with less enthusiasm because I've been
here before. Getting healthy is hard and requires intentionality. I'm too
tired, unmotivated and weighed down with empty calorie treats as well as the
burdens of the world. But I'm a part of the group anyway. I don't want to miss out.
Negative thoughts
that came from searching for clothes that would actually fit this morning are
replaced with glimpses of hope mid-exercise as I touch my calf muscle.
Surprisingly, there is actually still shape from all the running I took a break
from two months ago. Maybe not all is lost? A flicker of hope is lit as my mind
recalls the healthy choices I have made even if I didn't give 100%.
"Just
give me 8 weeks of healthy eating together." My friend/instructor wants to
entice us and I find myself lured like a fish toward bait. He is smart; giving
us just a taste today. The exercises he leads us through are achievable and
don't feel out-of-reach. Maybe being healthy isn't impossible. While I know the
worse is yet to come, I'm believing it is all for my good. I feel more energy
at the conclusion of the workout than I've felt in months. 8 weeks, huh?
Not wanting
to miss out may not be such a bad motivation. I don't know how many people were
there today but it was good to know I was surrounded by others who believe
change is good. Different ages, sizes, and fitness levels filled the room. Excuses lose their effectiveness in the
middle community. Not everyone's story is like mine but we all have excuses
taunting us to stay comfortable. Community reminds me that God desires
transformation. In the moment, I may not be so convinced I want others to
inspire me to change. Deep in my heart, however, I know those are the best
relationships to surround myself with.
My mind
flashes to Bible verses I learned as a child. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a
huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight
that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us
run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who
initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured
the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor
beside God’s throne. Think
of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary
and give up." I'm grateful for the crowd of witnesses to
keep my eyes on the prize. Hebrews 12 also goes on about the necessity and
value of discipline even if I kick and scream like a little child against it.
God
created community for a reason. Our church advertises life change. Even when I
don't want to change, God calls me to more.
Transformation is God's desire for us. It should be our desire for each other.
"For the Lord is the Spirit,
and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
So all of us who have had that veil
removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord—who is the
Spirit—makes us more and more like him as we are changed into his glorious
image." (2 Corinthians 3:17-18)
It's
not just in the area of physical fitness that I'm encouraged to change. It's
spiritual, emotional and relational health as well. I am still not certain I
want to commit to the discipline a healthy lifestyle requires. However, I am
convinced that God placed me in this community because He knows I might need
encouragement to gather that desire. I want this community... even when it is
hard... especially when I want to quit.
Thank
you, Southfield, for accepting me where I am and yet spurring me on to become
more like Christ. It's what this life is all about. With God keeping my heart
moldable and your encouragement to continue saying "yes" to Him, I am
better. I want to be better. Please keep pushing me even when I push back. I
need you. I'm better because of you and grateful for you. Remind me to count
the cost when faced with a fork in the road and I promise to do the same for
you. It may not be easy but it is worth it in the end. Don't let me make
excuses. I don't want to miss out.
"A large crowd was following Jesus. He
turned around and said to them, 'If
you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison—your
father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even your own life.
Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple. And if you do not carry your own cross and follow me, you
cannot be my disciple. But don’t begin until you count the cost. For who
would begin construction of a building without first calculating the cost to
see if there is enough money to finish it? Otherwise, you might complete only the foundation before
running out of money, and then everyone would laugh at you. They would say, ‘There’s the person who started
that building and couldn’t afford to finish it!’ Or what king would go
to war against another king without first sitting down with his counselors to
discuss whether his army of 10,000 could defeat the 20,000 soldiers marching
against him? And if he
can’t, he will send a delegation to discuss terms of peace while the enemy is
still far away. So you
cannot become my disciple without giving up everything you own. Salt is good for seasoning. But if it loses
its flavor, how do you make it salty again? Flavorless salt is good neither for the soil nor for the manure
pile. It is thrown away. Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand!” (Luke 14: 25-35)
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