Balance in Life and a Blog Hop

Have you found balance? Please share tips and tricks! And if you're seeking balance, what are the areas you find hardest to juggle?

Oftentimes, as Christians (better yet, as Christian moms), we find ourselves in the role of martyr. We neglect ourselves as we strive to serve those around us, believing this is best for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the more we disregard our own needs (all in name of righteousness, of course), everyone seems to suffer.

Every time I abandon the practices that are necessary to maintain balance in my life, it is out of the belief that I can do life on my own. In my own power, I reason that I should be the best wife in the world, super mom to my children, a best friend to everyone who wants one and the most selfless servant that has ever lived. Until I crumble, that is. And I will. I break down EVERY time. All because I try to do it in my own strength.

Inevitably, when I quit taking time for myself, Bible study, prayer and meditation take a back seat to the responsibilities of life. My relationship with God suffers. Therefore, I no longer have the lifeline that is so vital to my existence. Jesus' words ring true in my life: "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:4-5)

Not only do I cut myself off from The Vine, I allow my health to suffer. I give no concern to what I goes into my body and this always effect the output of my mouth. When I feel lousy about myself (because I can't possibly find time to exercise or plan to eat healthy) my self-esteem drops. With low self-esteem, every little frustration causes my anger to erupt.

A few months back, I woke up in the morning and decided to reclaim Saturday mornings as my own. Thankfully, I have a husband that fully supports these refueling moments. He embraces the daddy-daughter time, knowing that I will come back a better wife and mother. These mornings for me lately have been focusing on my physical health. I hope to perfect my time alone to include meditation, reading and writing in the future. These are what truly fuel my soul. For now, I find no guilt in grabbing small moments for these purposes throughout the day. I like people but I need time alone to be at my best.

I am learning that there really was a season in my life where consistent, weekly, scheduled time alone needed to be pushed aside. Thankfully, that was only a season. Martyrdom and I don't mix well. Probably because I'm too quick to remind everyone of the burdens I am carrying. Being a true martyr doesn't come with complaining.

For me, finding balance in my life is pushing aside the complaints along with the false title of martyr. I need to embrace my roles as wife and mother. This is much easier to do when I remain in The Vine and give thanks for the many blessings He has given me. It's not selfish. Even Jesus went away from the crowds to spend time alone with God. I'm simply following His example.

What ways do you pursue balance in your life?

Good Friday's Uncomfortable Silence

The first time I went to the Good Friday service offered by my church, I was very uncomfortable. The room was dark and lit with candles. As I sat in silence waiting for the service to start, I soon realized the silence was intentional and this was the experience offered. I continued to squirm in my seat as the eerie quiet forced me to reflect on what Jesus did for me over 2000 years ago.

Silence and darkness are not an environment I welcome. These days, it is rare to find those moments where we can just reflect. Noise is so commonplace that if I walk into the house without my children, I reach for the television remote to break the silence and feel a bit more comfortable.

We want to be comfortable. Especially in America. This Lenten season, in particular, I have realized that comfort is a big obstacle in my relationship with God. For it is in my uneasiness that God draws me closer to Him. In the silence, I can hear the voice of God.

Tonight, Southfield Community Church is offering a Good Friday service at The Warehouse at 7pm. There is no childcare provided. Those in attendance will be forced to reflect on the pain and suffering Jesus went through for one purpose alone. I am still far from comfortable when I attend but I know I will experience God.

If you are unable to attend a Good Friday service, can I challenge you to spend a few minutes in uncomfortable silence reflecting on what Jesus did for you? The remembrance of this weekend is not only the foundation for our faith, but for our life and for eternity as well.

Who believes what we've heard and seen? Who would have thought God's saving power would look like this?

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling, a scrubby plant in a parched field. There was nothing attractive about him, nothing to cause us to take a second look. He was looked down on and passed over, a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand. One look at him and people turned away. We looked down on him, thought he was scum. But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us. We thought he brought it on himself, that God was punishing him for his own failures. But it was our sins that did that to him, that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins! He took the punishment, and that made us whole. Through his bruises we get healed. We're all like sheep who've wandered off and gotten lost. We've all done our own thing, gone our own way. And God has piled all our sins, everything we've done wrong, on him, on him.

He was beaten, he was tortured, but he didn't say a word. Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered and like a sheep being sheared, he took it all in silence. Justice miscarried, and he was led off— and did anyone really know what was happening? He died without a thought for his own welfare, beaten bloody for the sins of my people. They buried him with the wicked, threw him in a grave with a rich man, Even though he'd never hurt a soul or said one word that wasn't true.

Still, it's what God had in mind all along, to crush him with pain. The plan was that he give himself as an offering for sin so that he'd see life come from it—life, life, and more life. And God's plan will deeply prosper through him.

Out of that terrible travail of soul, he'll see that it's worth it and be glad he did it. Through what he experienced, my righteous one, my servant, will make many "righteous ones," as he himself carries the burden of their sins. Therefore I'll reward him extravagantly— the best of everything, the highest honors— Because he looked death in the face and didn't flinch, because he embraced the company of the lowest. He took on his own shoulders the sin of the many, he took up the cause of all the black sheep.

Isaiah 53 (The Message)

Uncomfortably Satisfied

I would have fallen asleep.

"Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” (Matthew 26:40-41 NLT) The last part of this verse really sums up my relationship with God. I desire Him. Truly, I do. And yet, I fail miserably. All too often, I choose comfort. 99 times out of 100, I'll take the easy way out. That's why, assuming I had the privilege of being asked by Jesus to pray with him the night he was arrested, I believe my tired body would have won.

A couple of years ago, I felt challenged to give up something for the Lenten season. This was a first in my life. I didn't grow up participating in the practice of Lent. I understood that every day was to be lived for God so I never really understood what was so special about people giving up meat on Fridays. Not to mention the fact that many of the people I knew who participated in this practice could not explain to me why they did it.

As an adult, conversations continued in seeking the explanation behind this season called "Lent". People I love and respect were able to back up what they believed with what they practiced. And maybe, a part of me was finally able to admit I was a bit self-righteous. I quit judging and spent a little more time listening. After truly examining my heart and admitting I was a more than slightly uncomfortable with this out-of-the-norm-practice for my life, I got real. I decided my reasoning that we were to sacrifice daily for God was a cop-out. Maybe it was time for me to experience a bit of discomfort. It didn't matter what others did or why they did it. All that mattered was whether or not I was willing to step out of my comfort zone in order to experience more of God.

"You satisfy me more than the richest feast." These words in Psalm 63:5 convicted my heart. I was faced with whether I truly believed this verse. If I was completely honest with myself, I had to answer "no". Given the choice between sweet foods or my Savior, the actions of my life spoke volumes as to who (or what) was on the throne of my life. So, for a Lenten season, I fasted from sweets. It was a growing experience that drew me closer to Christ. Every time I found myself reaching for desserts, I was faced with "What truly satisfies?"

Reintroducing rich foods into my diet on Easter, I found myself back to the old ways of relying on food to fill my emotions. Where do I turn for comfort? In times of stress, is the pantry or refrigerator the first place I turn? I found it to be no coincidence that Bible verse after Bible verse spoke to my heart and had me thinking about my relationship with food as well as my relationship with God. "Taste and see that the Lord is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Fear the Lord, you his godly people, for those who fear him will have all they need. Even strong young lions sometimes go hungry, but those who trust in the Lord will lack no good thing." (Psalm 34:10 NLT)

This year, I didn't give up anything specifically for Lent. My understanding of this practice is to focus our minds and hearts on what Jesus did at Calvary for us. As we find ourselves reaching for the forbidden-fruit-for-a-season, our eyes should be turned to God as we talk to Him in prayer and remember the reason behind the abstinence. It was months ago that my heart was convicted to dethrone desserts as the god of my life.

Now, I realize that some may find my reference to chocolate as a deity extreme. After all, everyone needs to be able to enjoy a little celebration every now and then. While I agree, our celebrations should not come at the expense of our relationship with Jesus. (Not to mention that my celebrations occurred all too often as well as alone.) "You say, 'I am allowed to do anything'—but not everything is good for you. And even though 'I am allowed to do anything,' I must not become a slave to anything. You say, 'Food was made for the stomach, and the stomach for food.' (This is true, though someday God will do away with both of them.) ...They were made for the Lord, and the Lord cares about our bodies. And God will raise us from the dead by his power, just as he raised our Lord from the dead." (1 Corinthians 6:12-14)

"Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need." (Luke 12:31) This is my calling: to seek God above all else. ANYTHING that creeps into this position outside of God is an idol in my life. I'm quick to say I live for Jesus. But are my actions shouting louder than my words in contradiction? When Jesus is asking me where I stand in my relationship with Him, would I rather have the rich feast or the riches of God? What is it that truly satisfies my soul?

As Jesus spoke to his beloved disciples on the night he was arrested, I am living in a new light these days. For in my own strength, I will fail. It's with my eyes on Jesus that I will truly experience the fullness of the best He has for me. "Then he returned to the disciples and found them asleep. He said to Peter, “Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour? Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak!” (Matthew 26:40-41 NLT)

What is it that you feel you can't live without? The only answer to this should be Jesus. In the end, He is all that will matter.

Peter: Faith or Failure?

It's easy to focus in on Peter as I read the account of Jesus' final days here on earth. He'd be a big part of the media coverage today, don't you think? Peter was Jesus' right hand guy. His faith in Jesus enabled him to walk on water. At the last supper, he was bold in declaring his unwavering commitment to Jesus. And wasn't it Peter who drew his sword and sliced the ear off of the guard who falsely arrested Jesus? The cameras certainly would have been clamoring to get footage of this disciple.

Needless to say, they would have been just as quick to plaster his face all over the place declaring his apparent hypocrisy. Peter was one of the few Jesus asked to stay awake and pray with him before his arrest... only his weary eyes and body won out over his bold speech. I could envision the major television networks battling to air the footage of his betrayal not only once... but rather three times. If these moments in history were recorded today, we would flip through the channels hard pressed to find reports of his walk-on-water faith. Every station would replay the moment Peter took his eyes off Jesus and began to sink.

Should our focus be on Peter's faith or failures? I always remember being taught that Peter was able to walk on water as long as he kept his eyes on Jesus. He began to sink when he took his eyes off of Christ. It seems that Peter's boldness and confidence was present whenever he was close to his Lord. Without hesitancy, he proclaimed his loyalty. He was quick to defend Jesus in the garden. When he wasn't near to Jesus, however, Peter denied knowing Him. His failures were highlighted and his faithfulness dwindled when his eyes were off of Christ.

This is the pattern in my own life as well. When my eyes are on Jesus and I'm reading the Bible, praying, attending church, and having conversations with other devoted Christ-followers, I am bold and confident in following hard after God. As this world starts to get the better of me and commitments overtake my life, my loyalty diminishes. Fear replaces conviction and soon I find myself timid and struggling to make it in my own strength.

As we approach the foot of the cross, I need to be reminded of the power Jesus gives us. He was broken so we could have hope. He gave up everything to have a relationship with me; with you. This holy week keeps the cross at the forefront of our minds. As it does, let us remember Peter and the example he gave in the power and bold confidence we can have with Jesus by our side.

A Holy Week?

"We are supposed to reflect on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ every day." This was the thought I was raised with and the reason I never really thought twice about the practice of lent or other spiritual disciplines I heard my friends participating in. As a matter of fact, this Sunday, my thoughts were interrupted when my pastor referred to this very week as "holy week". I couldn't recall if I had ever heard that term before in my life.

Why is this week any more "holy" than another week? Is there really something special about Palm Sunday and all the days leading up to Good Friday and Resurrection Sunday? After all, isn't Jesus' death and resurrection just as important on the 4th of July and Thanksgiving?

In the four years since I lost my dad to cancer, my thoughts are invaded with memories of him almost every day. There are a few days, however, that cause me to reflect on his life a little more intentionally (his birth date, death date and Christmas, in particular). These dates and occasions prompt my heart to reminisce.

It's not any different with this holy week. Palm Sunday. Good Friday. Easter. They are all prompts to remember. These occasions can challenge my heart and soul to think more intentionally on the life (and death and resurrection) of Jesus.

Does it really matter what religious practices had my participation in the past? When I found myself struggling with the term "holy week" because my denomination didn't label it as such, I embraced the challenge. I can utilize this week to prompt my heart to reflect more purposely. I can embrace this week as a "holy week" for one reason: to draw me closer to the cross.

The cross, my friends, can never be reflected on enough. God loved me so much that He sent his one and only Son to die for ME (and for you). This sacrifice should overwhelm my heart and bring me to my knees. Jesus blood has made this life (and the life to come) possible. And the power we find on Sunday enables us to share in it all with rejoicing.

Will you join me in being intentional this week? Set aside time each day to stop and reflect on what was happening to God's-Son-who-knew-no-sin-and-yet-became-sin-for-us over 2000 years ago. They were declaring Him king on Palm Sunday and gawking at His crucifixion they had shouted for on Friday. Can you picture yourself in the crowd? Where would you have been? Is there a Biblical figure you can personally identify with from this story?

Open up to the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke and John) and read the account of this week we are remembering. Allow God to penetrate your heart. Define where you stand in your relationship with Him. He publicly declared where He stood in His relationship with you. We have the cross as our reminder. Who is Jesus to you?

"We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body. He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe—people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross. You yourselves are a case study of what he does. At one time you all had your backs turned to God, thinking rebellious thoughts of him, giving him trouble every chance you got. But now, by giving himself completely at the Cross, actually dying for you, Christ brought you over to God's side and put your lives together, whole and holy in his presence. You don't walk away from a gift like that! You stay grounded and steady in that bond of trust, constantly tuned in to the Message, careful not to be distracted or diverted. There is no other Message—just this one. Every creature under heaven gets this same Message." - Colossians 1:15-23