Have you found balance? Please share tips and tricks! And if you're seeking balance, what are the areas you find hardest to juggle?
Oftentimes, as Christians (better yet, as Christian moms), we find
ourselves in the role of martyr. We neglect ourselves as we strive to serve those
around us, believing this is best for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the
more we disregard our own needs (all in name of righteousness, of course),
everyone seems to suffer.
Every time I abandon the practices that are necessary to maintain
balance in my life, it is out of the belief that I can do life on my own. In my
own power, I reason that I should be the best wife in the world, super mom to
my children, a best friend to everyone who wants one and the most selfless servant
that has ever lived. Until I crumble, that is. And I will. I break down EVERY
time. All because I try to do it in my own strength.Inevitably, when I quit taking time for myself, Bible study, prayer and meditation take a back seat to the responsibilities of life. My relationship with God suffers. Therefore, I no longer have the lifeline that is so vital to my existence. Jesus' words ring true in my life: "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me. Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15:4-5)
Not only do I cut myself off from
The Vine, I allow my health to suffer. I give no concern to what I goes into my
body and this always effect the output of my mouth. When I feel lousy about
myself (because I can't possibly find time to exercise or plan to eat healthy)
my self-esteem drops. With low self-esteem, every little frustration causes my
anger to erupt.
A few months back, I woke up in the morning and decided to reclaim
Saturday mornings as my own. Thankfully, I have a husband that fully supports
these refueling moments. He embraces the daddy-daughter time, knowing that I
will come back a better wife and mother. These mornings for me lately have been
focusing on my physical health. I hope to perfect my time alone to include
meditation, reading and writing in the future. These are what truly fuel my
soul. For now, I find no guilt in grabbing small moments for these purposes
throughout the day. I like people but I need time alone to be at my best.
I am learning that there really was a season in my life where
consistent, weekly, scheduled time alone needed to be pushed aside. Thankfully,
that was only a season. Martyrdom and I don't mix well. Probably because I'm
too quick to remind everyone of the burdens I am carrying. Being a true martyr
doesn't come with complaining.
For me, finding balance in my life is pushing aside the complaints
along with the false title of martyr. I need to embrace my roles as wife and
mother. This is much easier to do when I remain in The Vine and give thanks for
the many blessings He has given me. It's not selfish. Even Jesus went away from
the crowds to spend time alone with God. I'm simply following His example.
When my girls were little, every Friday morning I went out alone to a tea shop. Ten years later, that time is still remembered as life giving. But you are right, there are seasons where we have to give up ourselves completely. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteSo glad you have a husband who helps you "fill your cup". Your Sat morning routine sounds heavenly! It's no fun to live with a mommy martyr.. you're a wise woman for choosing to refuel.
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