Encouragement from my Husband on Mother's Day

Deep in my heart, I know that things do not bring happiness. Still, I can’t help but experience some happiness as my fingers glide across the keyboard of my day-early Mother’s Day gift. This apparatus that allows me the freedom to type and save my heart has done something for my soul. While the thought of a laptop to call my own is a place I’ve often let my mind wander, it’s quickly been dismissed due to finances and practicality. It just seemed so unnecessary. We have a desktop in the family room that I have priority access to. How would one justify a laptop with those circumstances? I couldn’t help but feel selfish.

When my husband shared the idea of purchasing a laptop as my gift, I brushed it off. All too easily, I get lost in the abyss of thought with the computer, why make it easier for me? It is because this man believes in me and knows the importance of encouragement.

In a season where I’ve struggled to keep my fantasies of writing alive, this gift has ignited my passion. It’s amazing how a little encouragement can kindle the flames of hope. My heart has really wrestled with my lack of education (I never went to college) and comparing myself with others. When I see the perceived genius others display, I can’t help but criticize myself and I’m left longing for their talents. With each comparison and criticism, my aspiration deflates.

Life gets in the way. Little by little, the dream seems to slip through my fingers; farther and farther away from the reach of my hands. And yet it remains: a flicker of hope; the longing that, someone somewhere thinks my passion in something worth striving for.

I’ve convinced myself that my blog began as medication for my weary, hurting heart. It doesn’t have to be read by many. There is no necessity for popularity. All it need be is a safe place where I can run to clear my mind and remember that even though I am in this season called motherhood, I still remain an individual. My individuality as a Child of the Almighty God of the Universe still remains intact... even in the mundane. I still have dreams, desires and aspirations that belong to me alone. My life can still honor and bring glory to my Creator in it all.

“Mother” is a title today that entwined with my calling in a material gift. Sure, it’s just a laptop that I can’t take with me in the end… but for a moment, it has revived my dreams. Even though I was aware the gift was coming, holding it in my hands has fanned into flames the gifts I have been given. Even in my roles as mother, daughter, wife, and friend, I remain a child of God. All these relationships flow into one another centered on the Author of the Universe. And while I am in the season of motherhood, there will be durations where writing comes to a halt. That does not diminish the flame. It just needs to be fanned a little.

Today reminded of the important role we play in the lives of one another. A little encouragement goes such a long way. We never know when a dream is dying away in someone’s heart. When the struggles of life have made them question if they have lost themself entirely, we have the opportunity to sharpen, strengthen and spur one another on to good deeds… with a simple act of encouragement.

If you are in a season of life where you are lost and hurting, I pray you have someone to cheer you on. I hope there is a person who comes alongside you to be “Jesus with skin on” and remind you of who you are. Even in the darkness, our core identity remains. What is your identity?

“Let us hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works. And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:23-25 NLT)

“Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. Greet each other with Christian love.” (2 Corinthians 13:11-12 NLT)

Settling for Book Club

A few years ago, some friends of mine realized that we all enjoyed reading. Why not form a book club? My girlfriend has been faithful in hosting our group on a monthly basis and I have really enjoyed our time together. I've also been grateful for the way the club has stretched me. My tendency is to stay with safe "Christian" fiction and authors I know I enjoy. This group of friends have introduced me to new books, new favorite authors and history lessons I never would have experienced without them. Besides the enjoyment I experience just being with these friends, Book Club gives me a good excuse to put everything on hold in order to complete a novel. Overall, this is one of the best experiences I've been involved in.

I just finished our current read... and I'm frustrated. I'm frustrated because we just completed another "secular" book that twisted my heart. More than one work of fiction has left me needing to "overlook" a detailed sex scene, immorality or unnecessary foul language. While I've still been able to enjoy the novels, I express my aggravation over this very thing with the group.

This book, in and of itself, is not what leaves my heart unsettled. But I have felt convicted and it's brought with it some anxiety that, once again, I need to speak up with my friends. Even in a group where I know I will receive support on this issue, I feel like maybe I'm just being overly sensitive? But isn't that the point?

Is there the possibility that with each book I complete, my heart is a little more desensitized?

Even if just a little bit, am I left questioning that God's standards are a little out of date?

In stretching myself with the books I read, am I also stretching my standards?

Am I settling for less than God's best because... that's just our world these days?

Just this past week, I had a discussion with another friend about the current series grabbing the attention of women all over the world. Honestly, I know nothing about the books. Other than the tidbits I grab here and there through the media or passing conversation, I wouldn't even be aware the books existed. Since I like to read, she assumed this would be a book I'd embrace. If for no other reason than common curiosity?

Friends, I don't think I'm a prude. I even read joined the Twilight Mania a little late in the game... but this is not a trend I will jump in on... with any amount of peer pressure. A blog that I've recently started following is called To Love Honor and Vacuum. Her post, Why Kindles can Wreck your Marriage, makes a lot of sense and she speaks what is on my heart.

I believe that we, as women, need to be careful with the reading materials that encourage our imagination. It has the potential of destroying our marriages and our lives. Do you think I'm just being a prude or do you agree that what we put into our minds effects the way we live? Let's encourage one another to guard our hearts and minds. (Proverbs 4 - Guard your Heart)

“A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. A tree is identified by its fruit. Figs are never gathered from thornbushes, and grapes are not picked from bramble bushes. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in your heart. So why do you keep calling me ‘Lord, Lord!’ when you don’t do what I say? I will show you what it’s like when someone comes to me, listens to my teaching, and then follows it. It is like a person building a house who digs deep and lays the foundation on solid rock. When the floodwaters rise and break against that house, it stands firm because it is well built. But anyone who hears and doesn’t obey is like a person who builds a house without a foundation. When the floods sweep down against that house, it will collapse into a heap of ruins.” (Luke 6:43-49 NLT)

Dear Friend,

When was the last time you asked for help?

(A question from (in) Real Life)

Dear Friend,

When life is hard, I want you to know that I am here to help. All you need to do is ask. Whether I am just a sounding board so you can work out your own thoughts or there is something tangible I can do to make life a little easier for you, please know you can ask for assistance. After all, that's what friends are for. You are not alone.

I like to give the appearance that I've got it all under control. You think I am strong and confident because that is what I want you to think. It is the image I work so hard to portray. My friends need to know that I am someone they can come to with their problems without worries of judgment. If we can't be real with our friends, who can we be ourselves with?

So, if friendship means we should be able to ask for help... And I give the appearance that I have it all together (at least that's what I like to think)... Are we experiencing real friendship? In not asking for assistance from you, my friend, I am not being real at all. Because girlfriend, I need help!

I need help. Deep inside, there are the same longings and insecurities in my heart that every woman experiences. I want to be wanted and cherished and needed. I want to know I am surrounded by a community of authentic friends. Don't you want that too?

Then... if you think I have no need for a support system, am I hurting you? I avoid asking for help because I don't want to be a burden in your already busy life... But if your call for help leaves me feeling exactly the opposite of burdened... If your request leaves me feeling needed, wanted and cherished... Can I assume that is how you would feel at my request as well?

Please forgive me for the false facade I've put on in front of you. The truth is that I need a friend at some point every day. At times, all I need is a listening ear or the acknowledgement that someone out there cares about my mundane day. Other times, I need your friendship to be "Jesus with skin on" because I simply cannot do it alone. Your help may be the only thing to bring a little sanity to my day... a reminder that I am not alone.

I desperately need your friendship. I want your friendship more than words can express. I cherish you with the love that Jesus calls us to. And I'm asking for help... because that what friends do.

Love,

Me

I want more

I want more.

I've recently lost some weight. But I want the scale to show a greater loss.

I have family that loves me. Do they value me?

There are so many friends in my life that I struggle to get everyone on the calendar. Honestly, though, I want everyone to like me. It bugs me to think that there are people out there who truly despise me.

I'm back to running again. Still, I don't feel like I'm in shape. There's a nagging pain in my body. My clothes don't fit well either.

We're far from being in need. And yet, my mind jumps from one thing to the next that we could do... if only... we had a little more money.

My family is looking forward to a little trip to visit family where we'll surprise the kids with a stop at the Wisconsin Dells. But it's not Disney.

The house we own serves us well beyond our basic needs. That's right, we own it (well, shared with the bank anyway). And yet I dream of a 4-bedroom beauty with a library and an office all to myself (I suppose it would be nice if there was one for my husband as well). Oh, and I'd love it to be in the country...

More.

More.

More.

Who doesn't want more?

Those who are without  their basic needs.

The grateful.

Those who have found contentment.

The few who know that none of this satisfies.

Those who have their eyes on Christ.

The only thing they want more of is Jesus.

To be in that place of satisfied contentment where all I want more of is Jesus... that is what I long for.

So in my wanting, I look to Jesus. When I find myself longing, I get real with a heart check on what I long for more. Through my discontentment, I seek God and His truth.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." (Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV)

"O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water... Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! ...You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy. I lie awake thinking of you, meditating on you through the night..." (Psalm 63 NLT)

"A devout life does bring wealth, but it's the rich simplicity of being yourself before God. Since we entered the world penniless and will leave it penniless, if we have bread on the table and shoes on our feet, that's enough." (1 Timothy 6:6-8 MSG)

I was just reading Lysa Terkeurst's blog. Jump over there for a great read on Made to Crave for Young Women and The Boy Questions.

 Here's the verse she posted:

Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world — wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important — has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out — but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity. (1 John 2:15-17 MSG)

Fitting isn't it?

He Understands

I don't know where I got this from. Today, I found it written on an index card. I'd give credit to whoever wrote it if I knew.

"When you hurt, God hurts with you. When no one listens to you, God listens to you. When you wipe away tears of loneliness or frustration or anguish, in Heaven there's a pierced hand approaching a Heavenly face wiping away a tear."