Choices

 

Everything in me wanted to yell at her for not being responsible. This I why she is not allowed to watch television in the morning before school anymore (previously it was a reward to get her moving). If she hadn't sat there watching the show her little sister had on... I had to remind her twice to put her shoes on... Allowing her to ride the scooter around waiting for the bus probably wasn't a good choice...

The moment we saw the bus approaching I looked into my oldest' bewildered face as she exclaimed "Oh, man. My flute!" I responded with my immediate thought, "Run!" I'm still shaking my head over the situation. Did I really ask the bus driver if she would wait? I need to remember to buy that woman a special thank you gift. I can't believe she actually waited.

Waiting always makes the time move at a snail's pace. I had put her sister on the bus and then pulled her off because I didn't want to inconvenience everyone else. As we began to walk away, the bus driver beeped the horn and pointed down the street. I don't think I've ever seen my child sprint in her life - until now. I seriously need to remember to be grateful for this woman who transports my children to school every day. It's so easy to focus on the negative situations involving the bus. Mental note: Do not forget this moment.

Like every morning, my daughters are both on the bus off to school. This is the way our mornings usually play out... but I'm struggling with my emotions. Every time I attempt to be a "yes" mom, it seems to bite me in the butt. The cancelation of band practice yesterday allowed us to embrace other choices for our time. These unplanned activities were good and in the moment, I was certain this is how motherhood worked.

Last night, I had made a mental note to have my daughter pull out her flute and music when she got home from a school activity she went to with friends. The little ones were tucked in bed and I needed to just go over her homework one more time. Notes needed to be written for the next day and put in their folders, the dishwasher had to be loaded and started so lunches could be packed... the instrument left my mind... until this morning at the bus stop.

While everything in me wants to lecture my 10-year-old on irresponsibility, I'm going to choose grace. Just as I made the choice to embrace life with my children yesterday, it is my decision how I respond to this situation. I forgot. She forgot. We all make mistakes. This wasn't sinful. It was simply a little bit out of our routine. No harm done.

Pulling out note cards with the verses I was meditating on this morning reminds me that this is the choice God wants me to make.

"Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back." - Proverbs 29:11 (NLT)

“Why are you so angry?” the Lord asked Cain. “Why do you look so dejected? ⁷ You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.” - Genesis 4:6,7 (NLT)

"Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry." - James 1:19 (NLT)