Love Your Dreams/Goals - Hearts at Home January Blog Hop

(Today is the Third Thursday of the month. Time for the Hearts at Home Home Blog Hop! This month's topic: Love Your Dreams/Goals. Head over to Jill's blog to see what other women have to say on the topic.)

"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." - Walt Disney

We are told our entire lives that we can become anything we want to be if we only work hard enough. These days, children need to practically sign away their lives in order to participate in a sport of any kind. As parents, we are told we are failing if we aren't allowing our kids to try out every activity in order to discover the one thing that will lead to fulfilling their dreams.

Like most, I've identified the dreams of my heart... those things that sometimes feel so out-of-touch I may never actually achieve them. Yet at the same time, I can taste them the way you taste chocolate before it even touches your lips simply because the desire is so strong. And while goals aren't big in my life, I do have them. I've completed a marathon, a handful of half marathons and many smaller races. These accomplishments don't just happen by accident. If the goal isn't set, the likelihood of crossing a  finish line is slim-to-none.

Maybe I'm not much of a dreamer. Makes me sound kind of un-American, I know. It's just that I get tired of chasing after rainbows instead of embracing the gifts that may appear, to others, not quite as shiny as that pot of gold (and, yes, to myself as well, at times).

It could be that my dreams are just often painted as insignificant.

 

Since I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up, getting married, having kids and...

Well... my dream didn't really blossom into anything more than that. I just quit thinking it was a dream. I mean "homemaker" doesn't sound all that glamorous. We like to spice it up with all kind of creative descriptions when filling out applications. As a matter of fact, the conversations I hear out there frown upon being a stay-at-home mom. Are little girls even allowed to dream about being mommies anymore? ...I mean, without a career?

My dream was to marry a man that loves God and loves me and my children. I have that in a way that other women, unfortunately, only wish for. My dream was to have children and raise them to love God in a community of believers that feels like family. We have that in a way I never could have imagined. If we can finish this life loving God and loving others well, I will have reached my dreams and achieved my goals. No apologies.

Sure, writing and speaking are still a pursuit of mine. God continues to provide those opportunities to me in the perfect situations. I may never be a famous Speaker or Writer but God has still given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I think it's time I start embracing the gifts He's given me today and realize I can never dream up a life better than the plans He has for me. I find I'm much happier trusting the Maker of the Stars than I am to just reach for them.

 

There's nothing weak about choosing to be a stay-at-home mom. It's what I do and I'm proud of it. Not to mention I am better for it.

 

"This foolish plan of God is wiser than the wisest of human plans, and God’s weakness is stronger than the greatest of human strength." - 1 Corinthians 1:25

*Dream Fulfilled*

 

Knock it Off! (Hearts at Home Blog Hop)

I sat on the park bench fighting my natural tendency to judge. Invited for a play date, we discussed our mothering stories. As the tales of others were weaved in to our conversation, the temptation to fit each one into my own little box was irresistible.

Every child should have a consistent early bedtime.

Families shouldn't fill their schedules to a level of crazy.

There are laws for children riding in vehicles. It's simple really: follow the rules.

I had to tell myself to STOP.

KNOCK IT OFF!

I am a mom to three beautiful little girls. Each one is very different. My opinions on mothering have changed drastically in the eleven years I've been doing this job.

Early on in my life, before I even earned the title of "mommy", it was my belief that I knew well how to raise children. Not just my own (who would come in the future) but those of others as well. When my compliant, laid-back firstborn entered the world, my parenting philosophies were reinforced.

I rocked at motherhood.

I knew what I was doing.

Others apparently did not.

Maybe they just needed a good example.

Then daughter #2 came into our life.

And now we have 3! (With each daughter added to our family, their personalities morphed to reveal a little more of myself.)

Oh, how I wish I could apologize to each and every mother I ever frowned upon!

It is one of my high hopes that others do not judge me. After all, I now know that I am failing miserably as a mom. My heartfelt prayer is that God will work in spite of all my mistakes. No longer do I believe Mother knows best. (Although that is a line from a song from the Disney movie, Tangled. I love to sing it to my girls. The same line. Over and over again.)

Here's my new parenting philosophy: God gave my children their personalities. It is my responsibility to help shape them into the well-adjusted adult He designed them to be. (Or not-so-well-adjusted because I've sent them running to a counselor's office. My husband says we will screw them up. He encourages me that it's all about damage control.). Really, much of it is beyond my control. Ultimately, God gave me these children to sharpen my rough edges. I believe He desires to transform me through my children.

For that reason (along with Jill Savage's book, No More Perfect Moms), I've decided to Knock it Off! I will actually verbally tell myself to "Stop judging others." "My way is not the only way." (And there are many other phrases of the sort.)

Yes, I actually talk to myself. I realize that may cause you to judge me. I'm just hoping you'll agree to Knock it Off as well.

 

I’ve signed the Knock It Off commitment. Will you?

Mothering Super Powers: March Hearts at Home Blog Hop

"We all have days when we feel like just an 'ordinary mom'. If you could have any super power that would help you in your mothering, what would it be?"

Initially, I was frustrated by this question. It seemed like I needed some creativity to come up with an answer. For some reason, I struggle with using my imagination. Utilizing the resources available to me, I typed “super powers” into Google search and came up with a whole list of possibilities.

“Body duplication” stood out to me as a power I could benefit from. I simply had no idea how very soon I would imagine myself as a super hero with this very power. Yesterday I carried my 3-year-old into the pediatrician’s office, informing my 6-year-old that she would simply have to walk, thankful that my 9-year-old is past the stage of needing to be carried. The doctor had me line all three of my sick little girls next to each other on the exam table. She began to check their ears… clear… clear… clear. Then their throats… clear… clear… clear. As well as their lungs… clear… clear… clear. I couldn’t help but laugh as I attempted to comfort each child at the right moments (especially with the nose swabs).

With the diagnosis of Influenza A in each girl, it is no wonder that this week has been absolutely impossible to meet everyone’s demands… including my own. However, if I were a super hero capable of duplicating my body…

I could get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep EVERY night because one of my duplicates could take care of anything that threatened my slumber.

Holding my children every time they want to be held in the position they want to be held would be easy to accommodate (without bickering of another child kicking them or getting to close, etc.).

My preschooler would no longer be found sitting in the bathroom crying at the top of her lungs because I didn’t hear that she… well, um… needed some assistance.

When my oldest daughter wants me to climb into her top bunk with her just for comfort, the request could be met no problem.

When my middle daughter needs a bucket due to inheriting her father’s gag reflex, I don’t have to worry about whether she will need said bucket as I am in the middle of cleaning it.

I could take care of my own agenda without any feelings of guilt for neglecting the needs of anybody else.

My husband wouldn’t have to hear that I’m too tired… I’d be available to meet his every need.

I wouldn’t have to worry about whether or not I was going to catch the flu in my house when my hopes are to go away with my girlfriends for the weekend to the Hearts at Home conference.

And blog posts would be able to be written without the constant requests beckoning me.

Yes, body duplication would be a wonderful super power to have.

Since I live in reality, however, I have to learn that I cannot be everything to everyone all the time. I have my limits. Weeks like these where everybody needs me and it conflicts with my own agenda, I find myself frustrated. Instead, I should remember that there is someone who can be with each one of us all the time, everywhere we go. When I lift up each request to my Heavenly Father, there is peace in knowing He is in control.

What super power would you desire? Instead of working so hard to earn your cape, should you be turning to God instead?

“I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence!  If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there.  If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me. I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.” – Psalm 139:7-12

I Love IKEA

It is time for the Hearts at Home blog hop again. Today’s topic is “Share some tips and hints of things you do around the home that make life easier”.

My first thought was I don’t do anything around my home. That certainly makes life easier! A friend of mine bought me a sign I have hanging up by my kitchen that reads “When I get the urge to clean house, I lay down ‘til it passes.” While this is somewhat true of my life, I also realize that my lack of housekeeping and organization adds a lot of stress to my life.

Many days when I feel as though I have lost complete control of my life, I will organize my kitchen pantry. It’s one of my favorite parts of our home because it is a large pantry and we can stockpile quite a bit in it. At the same time, I tend to throw things in without any organization on a daily basis. That’s when things start to feel a bit crazy. This simple act of reorganization allows me to feel like I accomplished something from start to finish and brings a little bit of sanity back into my day. (I think it is time to do this again soon!)

While there are many things that seem to get out-of-control in our home, there are two specifically where I feel we have made some progress. The first is in the area of toys. It was always difficult to ask the kids to pick up their toys when there was really no designated place for each item. As I went to the homes of different friends, I noticed that several of them utilized IKEA shelving to keep their toys in order. We purchased the large shelving unit from IKEA along with some bins from Target and the toys no longer seem to overtake our home (as often anyway). When I tell the children to put their toys away, they now know where they go.

Papers are the other item my family seems to be swimming in. We have three girls who love to draw and write. This along with school papers and my own mess can begin to overwhelm quickly. With a three bedroom home and three girls, we had some decisions to make on how to divvy up our space. The master suite is ours. That leaves us with two rooms between three girls. Our final decision was to have our girls living dormitory style. They share bunk beds in one room for sleeping. In the extra room, this Christmas, IKEA (or Santa) were very helpful in creating personal desk space for each girl to have. They are responsible for their own desk and are not to go into their sisters’ desks without permission. It’s only been a month but it has helped with the paper pile tremendously!

Although I tend to pride myself in my Italian heritage, I guess this post supports my husband’s pride in his Swedish heritage. Maybe there is something to be said for being Swedish. After all, IKEA has done wonders for my sanity!

When did you realize that you weren't alone on this journey called motherhood?

It's the Hearts at Home Blog Hop today! For December: When did you realize that you weren't alone on this journey called Motherhood?

Because I know God is always with me

Because I have a husband like no other

Because my sister will drop whatever she is doing if I call for help

Because my mom is the very definition of the word “servant”

Because my brother and sister-in-law have a little girl exactly 4-months older than my oldest

Because I have a community of believers

Because I joined a MOPS group when my firstborn came along

Because I can tell my girlfriend that I feel like throwing my child out the window and she knows I don’t ever really intend to do that

Because my girlfriend knows just the right words to say to point me to truth when my mind is filled with negativity

Because my life is filled with older, wiser advice givers

Because being a mother gives me a greater understanding of God’s love for me

Because giving birth to three little girls swells my heart for my Creator

Because I have friends who are with me through the thick-of-it

Because my girlfriends are all up for a weekend away

Because my husband is a trooper and knows how often I need to be refreshed

Because God sent His one and only Son into this world for me

Because Jesus took my sin upon Himself on that cross

Because the stone was rolled away

Because He lives

Because of all this and more, I have never had to feel alone on this journey called Motherhood. And when the moments of self-pity hit, all I have to do is be pointed in the right direction to fill up on truth to shine light in the darkness. Motherhood was never a journey meant to be done alone. I’m grateful for the blessings in my life and the grace God has given me just when I need it. If you feel alone in mothering, find a MOPS group, comes to Hearts at Home, join a church community or most importantly, pull out your Bible and empty your heart to He who has always been.

This journey of Motherhood was never meant to be done alone.

Jill Savage is starting a book study on Facebook in January on Real Moms, Real Jesus… check it out!

MOPS has groups all over. Moms looking for others in their same life stage find this group invaluable.

Hearts at Home is March 16-17 at Illinois State University. Don’t miss it!

(in)courage is hosting a conference where you don’t need a lot of money, time, or even friends to attend on April 27-28. Check out (in)RL.

Living with Less (HAH November Blog Hop)

It's the Hearts at Home Blog Hop today! For November: Share 5 “things” you’ve given up or are living without as a family so that you can have more.

Living without two incomes is a choice we have made. I quit my job while I was pregnant with our first daughter because I was so sick at the beginning of the pregnancy. At the same time, we knew that we wanted me to be able to be home with our children. I consider it a privilege to be able to witness all their firsts, help with classroom parties, chaperone field trips and be here when they get home from school every day. Sure, there are days I wonder if working outside the home might help my sanity but ultimately, I know these days are a gift God has given me that I’ll never get back.

A couple of years ago, we eliminated cable television. It wasn’t an easy decision in that we all had our channels we really enjoyed watching. Due to finances, it was a decision we needed to make. Honestly, I think it was a bit of prompting from God as well. While there is some good stuff that we miss out on, TV is a lot lower on the priority list in our household these days.

I would love to have an iphone (or a Windows phone – I have no loyalty to either company). A plan with texting and internet access would be a lot of fun to have. The monthly bill to accompany that phone, however, is unaffordable for our family. Our current plan is prepaid on an out-of-date phone. We utilize our cell phone only when necessary. It’s another choice we’ve made to cut costs as well as make more time for family. If I had a phone of high caliber, I believe I would have a hard time limiting my time. Without it, the temptation is eliminated.

We limit our children on the activities they can participate in. All of those outside activities add up in monetary commitments as well as time commitments. Even just the weekly commitment of AWANA which I chose for them years ago eats up one evening a week. The benefits of this program with hiding God’s Word in the hearts of my girls keep this commitment on our calendar. However, I refuse to fill up every evening with a commitment. My girls would love to be in dance but dance classes are limited in our home to the small programs offered in the summer time. It requires intentional planning to keep our lives from spinning out-of-control. I don’t want us to live hurried lives and even with these boundaries in place, I feel as if it’s a constant battle.

Our family does not even attempt to keep up with the Joneses. We have a beautiful living room thanks to friends and family who were willing to give us their old entertainment center, television, sofas and coffee table they were parting with (each item from a different family). It’s a place where our family is enjoying reading together, watching family films together, and playing games. And despite the fact that my husband is a technical guy, we don’t have the latest and greatest technical items. We don’t even have a flat screen television. It’s my hope that we learn a need v. a want as we limit the material items we bring into our homes.

It can be a struggle to live with less in today’s world. When I see people in “poverty” utilizing a phone that I barely dream of having, I question our priorities. I find myself desiring the life of comfort so many seem to live but the fact is that it is only an appearance. Many people are living in debt and those that do truly live comfortably have usually worked hard and made sacrifices to get to where they are. If I attempt to keep up with the rest of the world, I will only find myself frustrated. I simply cannot responsibly afford the next best thing. Our household may live with outdated items, but we are a family that can stay together and spend quality time together and that benefit tops anything else. When I find myself struggling with desires for more, I remember that God has ALWAYS provided for every one of our needs and some. While I’d love to save up money for vacations and our future, this verse keeps me giving thanks to God and remembering that He is the one who provides.

“O God, I beg two favors from you; let me have them before I die. First, help me never to tell a lie. Second, give me neither poverty nor riches! Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny you and say, “Who is the LORD?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s holy name.” – Proverbs 30: 7-9

How do you live with less so your family can have more? Check out the ideas other Hearts at Home bloggers have, too.